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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Reliant on dummy

17 replies

Taler · 20/04/2015 17:47

My 17 month old DD is now properly reliant on her dummy. It seems to have happened very suddenly without us really noticing it happening!

She is like a different child with it, more happy and content. But she used to be happy and content generally most of the time any way. But without it she will have tantrums way too easily.

She is teething at the moment I should add and has been for a good few weeks now. I think she's got a few coming through at once and I know the dummy will bring her comfort.

I'm not worried as such as don't think she will reach school age and still have her dummy. It's more that recently she has her dummy in her mouth for the majority of the day, sometimes not even properly sucking on it, but just sort of holding it between her teeth/lips.

Her speech is a bit slow I'd say. She hasn't said her first word yet whereas other babies her age we know say several. And whilst I'm not worried as realise she is still young and it'll happen when she's ready, if she has her dummy in for the bulk of the day how will she talk?

What are your experiences of the dummy and did it bother you if your LOs had it in their mouth most of the time?

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Ferguson · 20/04/2015 18:16

Our DS NEVER had or needed a dummy. He had his thumb, fingers and the satin corner of a blanket to suck if he needed comfort.

mcm77 · 20/04/2015 21:19

And?? Your point is what? so what if he didn't need a dummy? Can't see anything helpful in that comment?

MrsCookieMonster · 20/04/2015 21:29

Ferguson - well aren't you great, v helpful!
OP, I don't have an answer except to say my DD is 19 months and doesn't say distinguishable words (seems like she says dada but says it to everyone) and none of her friends do either so I don't think your DD is behind.
I would try and gradually cut down by distracting her where possible, don't worry there is a long time before she starts school.

Wantsunshine · 20/04/2015 21:43

My Dd was massively dependant on a dummy. She without exaggerating was so far advanced in her speech on her first day of pre school they wondered if she was older. She has excellent pronunciation and had a dummy until very late. The speech may not be related to the dummy.

Littlefish · 20/04/2015 21:48

I think you're right to be thinking about the impact of a dummy on speech. If she has a dummy in her mouth for most of the day, it reduces the opportunities for speech. Do you have a children's centre near you? Some children's centres have a speech and language drop in. They might be able to give you some sensible advice about speech development and dummies.

That said, your dd is still very young. My dd said very few words before her 2nd birthday, and she only had a dummy for about a month when she was about 2 months old. Your dd's speech will almost certainly be within normal limits, but it sounds like you have some slight concerns, so a conversation with a speech and language therapist might be helpful.

Original poster

Taler · 20/04/2015 22:21

Thanks for the advice/useful tips everyone. Obviously Ferguson's comment was indeed most helpful. NOT!!! Why some people feel the need to make comments like that is beyond me....

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ICantDecideOnAUsername · 20/04/2015 22:33

My DS is now 3.5 but still has to have his dummy at night and if he wakes its the only thing that can get him back to sleep (we're already 'preparing' him for the dummy fairy this summer - not looking forward to that argument). Having said that he only has it at night now (we have to quietly whip it away when he's distracted with his breakfast and then he doesn't notice).

But we had to restrict its use, at that age I think it was only for sleep, naps and when he was upset. From day 1 we had a rule that he could not have it all the time (we had to relent a bit on holidays as he was unsettled and out of his comfort zone). Distraction is the key. The more she gets used to not having it at certain points of the day the easier it will be.

Having said that, I know someone DSs age who has a dummy a lot and is still very articulate but I would restrict use for other reasons too. When DS was learning to talk he would say something with his dummy in and we would make a big point about 'we can't understand you with your dummy in' to which he would pull it out, repeat himself and shove it back in again

trilbydoll · 20/04/2015 22:37

When DD was 6mo I got strict with the dummy and it was only for sleep. Then I'm not sure what happened but here we are at 23mo and she is always asking for it!

We take it out at every opportunity and keep saying "you don't need it if you're awake", and try and distract her. My problem with it is that she still talks with it in, and I'm worried it will make her speech a bit funny.

It's so much harder now she can ask for it, how can you say no when she says please and thankyou?!

purpleme12 · 20/04/2015 23:15

Taler my baby is 18 months. When she has her dummy in her mouth but it's just hanging there, not sucking I take it out and say she doesn't need it. You have to be careful to put it somewhere she can't see it though as she will want it otherwise. If she's really not herself or poorly I do give it her and of course when she sleeps. But mainly with me taking it out when she's not sucking it it means most of the time she's not got it in. I still give it her in her pushchair and car seat otherwise she does just complain. She's not said her first word yet. I'm not worried and I'm confident it's not the dummy.

NickyEds · 21/04/2015 13:24

I'm quite paranoid about too much dummy with ds. He 16 months and would just have it in constantly if allowed so we've just made it for sleeping only. They "live" on a shelf by his cot and a condition of him being picked up out of his cot is relinquishing his dummy! I'd just go with a mixture of will power (from you) and distraction (for her!). It's tough though, ds will pinch other childrens dummys literally out of their mouths so I know he wants it but I'm concerned enough that it will effect his speech or teeth it keep it for bed. I'm dreading getting rid of it completely as I know he wakes in the night and uses it to go back to sleep. My sister's kids definitely had theirs until they were old enough for bribery to work and their teeth are beautiful so maybe I'm worrying about nothing.

KatoPotato · 21/04/2015 13:43

DS had a dummy until he was... wait, I've literally just realised I can't remember anymore! - I was so worried about dropping it, and here I am and it's so insignificant now I've forgotten!

Sorry, he was definitely over 2, but just like wantsunshine his speech was amazing from about 15 months or so, and his teeth gorgeous.

Try not to beat yourself up about it. Bet you can't remember either soon!

Micah · 21/04/2015 13:49

Both of mine were massively reliant on a dummy :)

I did try and restrict it with DC1, but they shoved a thumb in instead, so I let them carry on with the dummy. Didn't want a thumb habit to break!

Both gave up very easily about 3. Teeth and speech fine :)

I would have worried far more about a thumb habit, as that's more prolonged and much harder to break as you can't bin it/give it to the fairies...

Micah · 21/04/2015 13:50

Oh and DSS had his until 7 or 8. Would pinch his sisters, and she had hers till 4, so they couldn't break it until the dummies were completely gone from the house.

Neither have teeth speech issues :)

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 21/04/2015 13:55

Dummies are linked with delayed speech, although my DS2 had speech problems and never took to a dummy. DS1 was constant with a dummy and no effects on speech.

Regardless of the dummy if you are worried about speech then speak to your HV as in my experience it takes a long time to get appointments if needed.

If your just worried about how much time is spent with a dummy, try offering to do an activity together but say "we don't need dummy for this do we?", took a few attempts but helped with DS1

HellKitty · 21/04/2015 14:02

DC1 had a dummy for a couple of months, DC3 never had one. Both had delayed speech. DC2 had one from birth up to about 2-3 then only at night afterwards. He's the reason DC3 never had a dummy as he'd take it for himself - and from any unsuspecting toddler in a supermarket. He's 15 and talks like a character from an HG Wells novel and corrects my English.

Your DC won't have one forever, if it's a worry can you cut down on the daytime use?

Clutterbugsmum · 21/04/2015 16:05

DD1 and DS didn't have a dummy and DD1 had a slight speech issues.

DD2 had a dummy (as it was the only way to shut her up) had no issue with speech and talking. I asked her at about 2.6yrs to give her dummies up and get a special present for doing so, she asked for new dummies. So I took it as she wasn't ready at 3 she just stop using one.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 21/04/2015 16:08

DS1 gave his dummies to Father Christmas when he was 20 months

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