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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

controlled comforting

51 replies

mcm77 · 19/04/2015 17:13

My baby is 10 weeks old and won't nap for longer that 45 mins on his own, I end up having to hold him for the rest of his nap - was thinking about controlled comforting, any thoughts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Crazyqueenofthecatladies · 19/04/2015 19:16

Way, way too young. Not appropriate for at least another 8-9 months.

acattocatchat · 19/04/2015 19:17

He is 10 weeks old. Still a newborn. Just hold him. You'll never regret the time spent snuggling your wonderful baby.

redspottydress · 19/04/2015 19:22

Yes just cuddle him. He needs it. Maybe invest in a good sling so you can get on with things whilst he naps.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 19/04/2015 19:33

I used to prise my DS off me and lie him face down on a pillow I'd vaguely shaped to my body, ensuring he could breathe of course. This seemed to work.

CultureSucksDownWords · 19/04/2015 20:02

Face down on a pillow sounds extremely risky to me. I wouldn't do that.

We got a Sleepyhead which helped with this, there are other similar sorts of things. But I did just spend a lot of time holding my DS, as even with the the sleepyhead he sometimes wouldn't be put down.

acattocatchat · 19/04/2015 20:30

Face down on a pillow is a terrible idea! Yikes. Sleepyheads are good as long as you put the baby on their back. Slings are also good.

Original poster

mcm77 · 19/04/2015 21:45

It's controlled comforting not controlled crying, there's a difference, so what's so bad about it!!

OP posts:

CultureSucksDownWords · 19/04/2015 21:58

Sleep training methods are not meant for such young babies. Normally 6 months or 12 months is what is recommended. All the online articles I could find about controlled comforting show that it's the same method as controlled crying. Can you explain the difference?

violetwellies · 19/04/2015 22:58

Babies that small are designed to cling to their mothers. A good sling is a godsend. You put baby in it, he gets what he needs, you get two hands free. Just remember to take baby out of sling before you get into the driver's seat.

violetwellies · 19/04/2015 22:59

Oh yes violet, you cannot drive with a baby resting on the steering wheel.

CultureSucksDownWords · 19/04/2015 23:57

Could you try a sling, plus maybe the sleepyhead or similar, before doing sleep training with such a young baby?

How is he in the pram? At this age, I would go for long walks in the pram until DS fell asleep, and then would go home. Often DS would stay asleep once home.

Superworm · 20/04/2015 07:36

What's controlled comforting?

LePetitPont · 20/04/2015 12:01

He's 10 weeks old. Super tiny. We had a sleepyhead which helped my boy feel more secure but also enjoy the cuddling or invest in a good sling!

LePetitPont · 20/04/2015 12:03

Ps are controlled crying and controlled comforting not two sides of the same coin?

Psipsina · 20/04/2015 12:05

What is controlled comforting? I assume it means you let him cry while you put him down and do something else? No, sorry - get yourself a sling and take him with you. This is what babies do - it isn't for ever and you'll confuse the hell out of him if you mess about like that.

Psipsina · 20/04/2015 12:08

Oh found it on an aussie website. It's not suitable till at least 6 months so you would be foolish to do it now.

NickyEds · 20/04/2015 13:14

The sits I've just seen says "Controlled crying (also known as Controlled comforting)" so I've no idea what the difference between them is?????

Some 10 week old just need lots of little cat naps, others need to be held for their naps. Ds napped on me until he was around 7/8 months old and went on to nap really well in his cot. It's actually quite unusual among mums I've known for such a young baby to nap anywhere other than on parent, in sling or buggy. Sorry op but I think you need to adjust expectations a little.

MangoJuggler · 20/04/2015 13:14

It's a No from me too

Babies need closeness and tenderness, have their needs met responsively

Controlled comforting, pfffft

Original poster

mcm77 · 20/04/2015 20:18

Well they were quite judgemental response. By 10 weeks I don't think you should be responding to every cry, babies also want to not be fussed when trying to get to sleep & also need to know that they can sleep on their own, will ask the unmumsey mum for thoughts next time!!

OP posts:

ExitStageLeft · 20/04/2015 20:20

Well that went well.

LillyBugg · 20/04/2015 20:21

OP you asked for thoughts. You received thoughts. Just because you don't agree with them, no need to strop. If you've already made up your mind then why bother asking?!

AmandaTanen · 20/04/2015 20:21

If life is too busy for you to hold your newborn baby, can I suggest a sling? It will free up your hands but still let your baby know that it's safe.

CultureSucksDownWords · 20/04/2015 20:28

Mcm77, what are your thoughts about trying a sling, a sleepyhead or similar?

You sound like you are very confident about how to deal with your baby, so I am also puzzled about why you asked for opinions on controlled comforting for a 10 week old?

Original poster

mcm77 · 20/04/2015 20:28

Thanks Amanda, I will try it

OP posts:

Psipsina · 20/04/2015 20:32

By 10 weeks I don't think you should be responding to every cry, babies also want to not be fussed when trying to get to sleep & also need to know that they can sleep on their own

who told you that? Because it's a load of rubbish when a baby is just ten weeks old.

Would you think it was right if a cat didn't respond to a mewing kitten that was a few days old? Babies cry because they have no other way to tell us anything. If you don't respond, all they do is cry harder and get really upset which makes them really blimming hard to settle, while if you went to them straight away, they learn that help is coming so they don't need to escalate.

A screaming baby can vomit and then choke, and you might think it's gone to sleep when it goes quiet. Just please please do what nature intended and respond to your baby.

Babies that are quickly responded to in the first six months tend to cry less in the second six months. That's from a scientific study.

I think whoever has told you this stuff is getting their facts mixed up.

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