Behaviour and food

[am1e]

Hi,
This is the first time I have posted on here. I am in need of some help and advice on behaviour and food. My daughter is just on 3 and has recently turned into a nightmare. She has always been a bit spoilt as she had a lot of medical problems and as a result has had alot of attention and fuss from us all. Lately she seems to have got a lot worst, screaming, major tantrums, hitting out (especially towards the dog). I am starting to worry it is more than just terrible twos. I want to start looking into what she eats, juice, jelly, yogurts etc and get my head around what's good and bad. Does anyone have any advice or know of any good apps ? Have a list of good snacks that are not bad or will make them go hyper as she is hyper most of the day. Thanks x

Does she have any food allergies? I'm asking because I'm on a FB group for babies with Cow's Milk Protein Allergy and there has been a few posts recently about children reacting to sweetners, especially in squash.

Maybe just offer her water or milk for a few days? If she's not used to it though you may need to be firm but calm

For snacks, try the obvious one of fruit or breadsticks. If the yogurts are the ones aimed at children I'd check the sugar levels, some are exceptionally high. You might want to think about stopping the yoghurt or replacing it with natural yoghurt mixed with fruit.

Other things to try are hummus and raw veg or carrots, buttered crumpets, smooth nut butter on toast, cheese straws or Mimi Savoury Muffins. Luckily the last two will keep a while in an airtight container and freeze well too.

I've noticed that the things she eats are all soft, is this due to her medical issues? They are also all high in sugar which may be a contributing factor to her behaviour as well.

How is her speech? I always find that children who can't communicate well tend to get frustrated and can lash out. Could that be an issue too?

Thank u so much for your reply and for the links. I will definitely try those. She has two condition, one microtia (single sided deafness with a little ear) and another condition called tofs which means she was born with her oesophagus attached to her trachea instead of her stomach. She does struggle with certain foods. Her talking is really good considering her ear so I don't think it's that. I think a mixture of spoilt and poor choices of foods. Thanks again for taking the time to reply

Poor little mite. Let us know how you get on over the next few days. If she's used to getting her own way you may need to stay calm but firm

I keep trying to stay calm but she drives me crazy. It's so difficult not to shout but am going to really try my best to keep calm. The tantrums are unbelievable and hitting me and the dog, throwing things in temper. Hopefully it's just a stage and she will calm down soon

If you are finding it difficult to keep calm, see if you can get hold of this book.

Does she still have a nap? Could she be overtired? What are you upto for the rest of the day? Could you take her swimming or for a long walk to try and wear her out a bit?

Yeah I try get her out everyday. I have a five week old too so that may be adding to her behaviour. I usually work full time whilst she goes to nursery for two days and grandmas the rest of the week. She still has a nap in nursery but I try not to because if she sleeps in the day she won't go to sleep until gone nine. She has her routine of bath, story bed but She won't fall asleep no matter what. Thanks again for the link I will definitely look at that.

If you have such a young baby ever likely you are finding it so difficult. If you don't want her to nap, I can understand that totally but you may find that she will benefit from some quiet time each day. There's a good link here.

Some of the activities suggested she could do on her own or things like reading are good if you are feeding baby at the same time. Have you got a sling? The age gap with my DC is very similar and I found it easier to cope with dc1 if I stuck DC2 in a sling between feeds.

As for the food, no child willing died of thirst or hunger so you may have to toughen up a bit

Decide what you want to do but always be consistent. If you have a partner they need to be in on the decisions too.

I really recommend milk or water to drink. If you offer snacks, how about offering her a choice of 2? Choice often gives children a sense of control and thus can lessen tantrums.

If she refuses a meal, I'd just ignore and not offer an alternative. My dd was very fussy at that age and would say I don't like that before she'd even tried it. We used to just say ok and carry on eating and chatting amongst ourselves. Easier if there are other children or adults eating but if it's just you two you could always pick up a book and use that as a way to ignore her. Do you eat together? This can often help.

There is a book called My Child Won't Eat by Carlos Gonzalez which you might find helpful.

Is she under a a paed for her medical conditions?

Yes all you said makes total sense, thanks ever so much for your advice. Your right I do need to toughen up, I give into her far too much and she gets so many treats/presents from everyone. I have a body carrier but am gonna look at getting one of those slings, they look really good. We don't eat together, I tend to feed her and eat when she is in bed. Thinking about what you say, I do give her far too much choice, asking what she wants for tea..... This parent hood is difficult. She has a peadritician but hadn't seen for ages, she's under consultants for her Microtia and tofs.

OP I was born with microtia on one side just like your DD. At that time (30 odd years ago) hearing aids weren't what they are now so I've never had one. It's not affected my speech at all. (I appreciate this wasn't the reason for your post but just wanted to try to reassure you in that respect).

Hiya, thank you for your message it's great to hear from another with microtia as I always wonder what my daughter is going through. Did you get the reconstruction or not ? X

No I didn't get the reconstruction. Like I say things were not the same back then & all they could offer me was something akin to a plastic ear screwed into my skull...erm...no thanks!
I wear my hair over my ears but I've never "hidden it" as such. I can honest say I've never had a bad reaction to it either. I none it's not really important what other people think but even in school I never experienced any bullying or anything because of it. And apart from being slightly more softly spoken than perhaps I might have been if I could hear out of both sides it never held me back. I think I'd probably find it a bit strange now if I could hear out of both ears...I'd probably fall over a lot