Isn't it, mummy?

[AuntieBulgaria]

At the moment conversations with my DD (7) seem stuck in a pattern:

Dogs are nice pets, aren't they mummy?

I'm pretty good at reading, aren't I mummy?

Frozen is a silly film, isn't it mummy?

Tights get stuck round your ankles, don't they mummy?

I know all it requires me to do is say 'yes, dear', but she seems to need me to acknowledge and ideally agree with everything she says.

Does anyone else experience this?

How can I help her be more confident of her own opinion? Or should I just respond honestly to everything?

I keep getting I doesn't like that one does I mummy? You should know that!! silly mummy.

I always respond honestly ("no, sweetheart, I don't think dinosaurs did drive police cars") unless it's a make-believe game (or I'm busy) . It's practicing conversation, and it's good for them to learn to cope with differences of opinion. Makes it more interesting for you than just agreeing, and it'll boost her confidence if you're listening and taking her seriously enough to answer properly.

Young children can only behave or respond to experiences they see or hear at home, until they go out into the 'wider world' of playgroup or school.

If you want stimulating, mature conversations with your child, you will first have to 'model' it for them to learn how it is done.

When our DS was two he used to come in my bed in the morning, and he would say: "Talk about trains." Sometimes it might be "Thomas", other times the steam trains I knew as a boy, and the 'big four' groupings, before the 'Beeching Axe' (SR, LMS, GWR, LNER) and their respective liveries.

So if you want her to talk about more interesting things, you will first have to give her an interesting, stimulating topic to get her going.

Could you try asking 'why do you think that?' to encourage more conversation & 'extended' thinking? We did it with DS when he was younger and he seemed to really enjoy it. Then he started saying things like 'I don't think dinosaurs drive police cars because....' kind of thing.

Aww I think it's cute

Dd is 7 and we have all sorts of interesting conversations. Today she proposed that a good way of getting people to eat more vegetables would be if vegetable consumption could make you fly. She also talked about what Cinderella could have done to improve her own situation and the dream she'd had about an imaginary pet husky called 'The Shadow'.

We don't lack for interesting conversation. It's just it feels like, at the end of every statement, she wants me to agree.

I agreed that if vegetables made you fly the probably people would eat more of them.

I disagreed that punching the ugly sisters in the face would help the situation and we discussed that one of the reasons Cinderella had stayed in her position was that she wanted to be with her father.

I agreed that The Shadow was a good name for a husky.

She looks for lot of confirmation; I've just written this song, is it a good song mummy? Do you think this is a good picture of a reindeer? I'm skipping, do you like my skipping?

I try to be specific about the things I find interesting or enjoy 'I like the detail on the antlers' but I worry she mainly does things for the praise.

I've tried asking her what she thinks and what she enjoyed, where she thinks she could add something, but she'll still revert back to wanting an evaluation - whether it's a spoken idea or a thing she's made.

She sounds adorable bless her cotton socks.
You could do it back to her: which shirt should mummy wear, the red or the blue? Mummy makes great pancakes doesn't she? Looking for validation at seven is quite normal, make the most of it, in 5 years time if she wants your opinion she'll give it to you and you'll still be wrong

My little brother put 'int it Mum' after every sentence. We still remind him of it to this day...

Figgy - you make a good point about enjoying it whilst it lasts.