Table manners!

[munz]

we've just watched JO, the school dinners one, which raised a q with DH and I - when do u begin with table mannors and how do u go about doing it?

(we're no where near starting yet at only 8 months) but we were hoping he'd have at least some basic table mannors by the time he was about 3/4. is that unrealistic?

Ummmmm I think the earlier you start with table manners the better. Its no point allowing your child to behave how they like at the table and turn round at 5 and say now do it like this. They lead by example as well don't forget so you need to make sure you are behaving the way you want them too (something I so often forget ha ha ha ha!!!!) Our ds is 2 and we make him say please before he is given anything, he washes his hands before dinner, sits at the table, eats with at least a spoon, only has pud if he's eaten at least one mouthful of dinner, doesn't get anything if dinner is launched across room that kind of thing. Just do it as a gradual thing alongside his natural development from weaning to self feeding etc. Just be realistic about what they are going to be able to do.

not at all! I think right from the beginning having enjoyable family meals at the table together are what you need to instill good manners.

we have always taken our dd out to restaurants and feel that she has always had "age appropriate" table manners. Of course she has her off days at home, but generally speaking she sits still, waits until we have all finished before getting down, uses a knife and fork and doesn,t have food fights! She is nearly four.

When she does play up i ask her to leave the table until she can behave, this is rare but when it does happen she normally leaves the room for a couple of mins and then returns to finish her meal.

hattie - that's a method DH is wanting to use.

the basic things we would eventually like to achive are - the p'Q's etc, obviously eating with cutlery (not yet of course), sitting still, not talking with mouthful/chewing with mouth open etc.

we're getting a booster seat next week for the table which i've told DH we'll be eating dinner at now so hopefully he'll learn by watching us eat??

definitely watch and learn from you and i think thats the most important thing. With regard to cutlery use i actually used to allow dd to use fingers when she was younger if the meal was fairly dry because she used to get really frustrated and in a real mess trying to use a spoon or fork. obviously i,d give her cutlery but if she was struggling i,d say its ok u can used your fingers for that. She then got in the habit of asking permission to pick things up with her hands! and now very rarely wants to.

I think the key is to remain very relaxed about mealtimes and don,t fuss too much otherwise things become a game. I always try to chat with dd about her day etc to make it relaxing and not focus on how or what she is eating. I think this also helps to prevent fussy eaters. I never refuse dessert because i believe that involves making an issue of food. 9 times out of 10 our dessert is fruit or a least half healthy so it would seem mad to deny her of it.

I think age appropriate is the best advice.

Start with sit and the table to eat, not running around chewing bits. take it from there.
MIL though we let them eat with their fingers for too long but hey I still eat pizza with my fingers. I am not talking about spagetti or anything.
All meals at a table. Helps with the mess too.
We have taken them out since they wer young to all kinds of restrauants, the more experience the better wether pizza hut, local pub or fancy place.
The main thing is to have relaxed family dinners as others have said and being relistic no 3 yr old wants to sit up until all the adults are finished but they should finish what they are eating before disapearing, not jumping up and down. They learn by example.