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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

1 week old dd can't sleep without being held - any advice?

29 replies

classicmum · 24/10/2006 17:36

Our first born 1 week old dd will not sleep without being held - this is not such a big deal during the day, in fact it's quite nice, but we're becoming frantic at night . She won't co-sleep with us, she needs to be held in our arms and sleep is becoming a bit of an issue! Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bambi06 · 24/10/2006 17:39

ha i remeber this with my dd and unfortunately the only way she would sleep without me was on her tummy!! and i know its supposedly unsafe but if not def try swaddling as i know lots of moms that will swear by it as they feel very secure and their arms cant flail around and wake them up..which is a big problem with newborns up to age about 3 months old so try it but make sure its tight enough that she cant take her arms out!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 24/10/2006 17:43

Awww, this is normal newborn behaviour. She has been tucked up tightly in your womb for nine months, and now she isnt.

Swaddling is a good idea. It will her her feel secure and warm. But cuddling a newborn is not so terrible. Dont be frightened about starting habits or anything - she is far too young.

Congratulations, and enjoy your baby.

alphonsa · 24/10/2006 17:52

VVVQV is right... my DD was the same and for a - thankfully short - while DH and I would sleep in shifts while the other one cuddled the sleeping baby. Swaddling is great for lots of babies or if not have you tried her in a sleeping bag?

If it's any consolation they do change awfully quickly and grow out of all sorts of habits, good and bad! Enjoy her

Papillon · 24/10/2006 17:56

Get a sling, they like being close to you.

SoupDragon · 24/10/2006 18:07

Get a Coorie pouch sling. They go to sleep in the pouch and you can lower them down into the moses basket and you can wriggle out of the sling.

Crotchety · 24/10/2006 18:13

Had this seven years ago - swaddling worked! Followed after a few months by baby sleeping bags (whatever they are called now). The swaddle only usually worked until about 4am unfortunately, but it was better than nothing. Also as this went on for a long time we found cranial osteopathy helped, but you may not be looking at that yet. My first one was quite an agitated baby and it helped calm him down.

arsenelupin · 24/10/2006 20:37

Try child carrying wrap rather than a sling (DD was tiny and fell out of my Babyborn). They lijke being close at that age.

Piffle · 24/10/2006 20:38

I ploknked my dd on to her tummy as well
Worked like a dream.

moaningpaper · 24/10/2006 20:38

You can lug her around in the sling in the evenings

Mine slept on mine or dh's chest for the first 4 weeks

anything for some peace

Peridot30 · 24/10/2006 20:52

Would definately advise swaddling your dd has been cosy and tight in your womb, so swaddling would 'imitate' being tight and cosy.

Original poster

classicmum · 25/10/2006 17:38

Haven't really given swaddling a go, so will try that. Thanks for all the help.

OP posts:

cruisemum1 · 25/10/2006 19:10

Classicmum- my ds - now 7 weeks wanted to be held all the time too. He now sleeps in his moses basket at night and wherever; carseat/arms/settee during the day. Funily enough he won't sleep in moses bkt during day at all (?)He still prefers to be held of course but I have decided to just relish these moments - despite it being a pain during mealtimes etc. because they are babies for such a short time. Relax and enjoy!.

Celery · 25/10/2006 19:27

She is still so tiny, and this phase won't last very long at all. I slept propped up on a V-cushion, with my second two sleeping on my tummy or chest for the first few weeks. It really doesn't last long at all before they are happier to be seperated from you, after 3 or 4 weeks, they slept besides me, and then shortly after that, in the cot by my bed. For the times when you're not in bed, like others have said - a sling is a godsend. Don't fight it, don't worry about making a rod for your back - just give your baby what she needs now, which is close contact, and everything will work out, probably a lot sooner than you think.

No way did I tell the HV about them sleeping on me though, no doubt they would have freaked and tried to dissuade me. Needs must though, and I needed sleep! I made sure we were as safe as possible - no duvets, and the bedside cot pushed up as a guard.

cruisemum1 · 25/10/2006 20:48

Twins on your tummy Celery? Well done and how lovely! Does anyone else have the problem of baby not sleeping in cot/moses basket during day? My 7 wk old ds will only sleep in it at night - not that I am knocking that! but I don't want to end up having to go out during the winter months just so that he can have a nap in car seat or pram.

Toady · 25/10/2006 20:50

Aaahhh yes remember it well for the first couple of weeks or so, does not do your neck any good sleeping upright though

twinklemegan · 25/10/2006 21:52

Just wanted to echo the other posts and let you this is normal. My ds cried every time we put him down for the first couple of weeks. I tried to look at it from his point of view and enjoyed the fact that closeness to me gave him comfort. DH and me ended up taking turns to stay up with him most of the night on the sofa (trying not to fall asleep, of course!). He's now 12 weeks and he's really good at sending himself off to sleep in his own cot. I think knowing that we are always there to cuddle him if he needs us has helped him to settle down. Hang in there and enjoy the one to one time if you can!

Whiffy · 26/10/2006 14:21

Hey classicmum

No advice but wanted to let you know that in the depths of the night at 3am and 4am and 5am you are definately not alone - I am having exactly the same with my baby born 5 weeks ago. Swaddling has helped and keeps her quiet until about 3 but from them on I am walking in your shoes every night.....

sleepycat · 26/10/2006 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FioFio · 26/10/2006 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 26/10/2006 14:42

i miss newborns

the funny froglegs
the velvetty skin
the smell of the top of the heads
the tiny shoulders

cuddle your baby as much as you can classicmum, they arent tiny for long!

swaddling worked for us too, dh was great at it, men dont seem to worry about wrapping too tightly

get lots of cushions and sit kind of upright, baby next to your chest so she can hear your heart beat. when she is sound you can slowly slide down the bed so you are lying down

it will pass dont worry

also, when she is lying next to you put a rolled up towel or blanket at her back so she is kind of 45 degrees, facing you

(i actually put my babies to sleep on their fronts from early, they seemed more secure and comfortable, but i know thats not recommended)

castlesintheair · 26/10/2006 15:34

I used to recline on our big sofa holding DD to my chest all night for about 4 weeks because she was the same. Then she went to her moses basket. I did everything to keep her on her back (as is recommended) but like a few others she would roll onto her tummy. By 3 months she was sleeping in a cot for 12 hours a night. She's 2.9 yrs now and still sleeps brilliantly, always on her tummy, bum in the air.

It does drive you crackers at the time and you wonder if you'll ever get a decent night's sleep again but it really doesn't last long. It's such a lovely time and I'm so pleased I'll be going through it all again in about 6 weeks time

cruisemum1 · 30/10/2006 18:43

nailpolish - that is such a lovely message - made me a bit teary. They are beautiful. Such a shame that we sometimes forget to enjoy their dependence on us.I shall remember your description next time I am willing my 51 day old ds to wake up/go to sleep. etc.

Y1 · 01/11/2006 10:59

I put my daughter in a baby swing, and that is where she slept for the first six months of her life. Swaddle the babe, strap in and turn to highest setting. I never regretted it for one moment. They used a fisher price model in the hospital i had my girls so even though it was a bit expensive the fact that i was not sleep deprived was worth every cent. My second daughter (twins) was wrapped and sleeped in a baby bouncer put inside a cot.

poppynboo · 01/11/2006 11:07

Hi there.
Echoing other posts really - swaddling REALLY helped my dd and sleep with elbows propped up on pillows.

The other thing that was fantactic is the Prince Lionheart teddy bear with a heart beat recording inside. We got our from a catalouge for £30 but ebay maybe cheaper.

Its absolutely fantastic and we still use it now she's 10 weeks. I'm convinced its how we've got her into such a good bedtime routine - down at 7.30 and then not a peep til her next feed!
As everyone says - its not for long.

And hey who needs sleep anyway {okay that might be going too far but feeling jolly as dd went for 6 - count them 6 - whole hours last night!!!!}

florenceuk · 01/11/2006 11:11

well, DD slept on me or in her sling for the first 10 weeks - it was only because we were booked for Xmas dinner that we finally cracked it. Try swaddling well, put them on their side either in the cot or a moses basket, and gently rock them and shush. It may not work until they are a bit bigger though. There are some nice photos in "The Social Baby" (which is a lovely book to have for a newborn anyway).

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