3.5 year old refusing to poo!

[BingBong36]

I am getting very concerned about my Ds poo refusal. He was perfectly potty trained and we had no issues at all. The last 6 months when he gets the urge to go he gets very anxious and holds it in.

He currently has not pooed for 4 days. He has lost his appetite and is clingy and lethargic.

He isn't constipated, I believe he has somehow developed a fear.

Any advice welcome

Thank you xx

Our dd is 2.9 and did this before we even tried potty training her (still haven't!). She got constipated one day, and got upset about going - she then just seemed to decide she wasn't going to go again! Which of course started the whole process again. It literally went on for months, and my best advice is don't wait, get to the docs and ask for Movicol. You need to get him going again ASAP and regularly because if he's holding it in he'll be getting constipated even if it's his choice to do it. Movicol in the right dose can make it very hard for them not to go, and it doesn't cause any long term issues. I wish we had acted quicker with dd as I'm sure it would have been sorted sooner if we hadn't been fobbed off.

Oh and there is a book on Amazon by a Dr Cohn, all about withholding issues. I found it really helpful, hopefully you can find it on a quick search. It really is a psychological issue but one which turns physical quite quickly.

Hi, don't know if it's helpful as haven't had problem myself, but read somewhere that blowing bubbles helps, as they're distracted & use muscles that help to push!
Poor little thing will probably struggle a bit now, it's a vicious circle, isn't it? I know a couple of kids who've torn the skin a bit doing a poo so it really stings & they refuse to go. Good luck! Xx

My dd has been through this too. It started with he having a poo and it hurting her so she then held herself. We have been dealing with it now on and off for 2 years. Make sure you give plenty of fluids as the longer they hold the harder the poo becomes so the more it's going to hurt when they pass it and it's them a hit on effect. Movicol is great get to the docs for this. Also let him sit on potty or where he wants to poo and give him some bubbles to blow as this works amazing,my dd will sit on toilet blowing bubbles and relax and forget herself and then say mummy I've done a poo,which I already know as when she has held herself the smell is bad. Bless her.

My 5yo dd regularly holds back still for up to a week at a time - once held back from going for 12 days - We tried everything, water, lactulose even a musical potty that congratulates you when you've done a poo - The worst advice we had was to try suppositories - they worked alright but traumatised everyone. Movicol is the best solution - see your GP for it. The other thing is not to make it such a big deal - We did at first and our anxiety made the situation worse. It's hard of course not to worry - It does all settle down in the end though.

Thanks so much for your responses!! I am going to book an appointment for him tomorrow at the doctors

This is now day 5! He has lost his appetite and is very grumpy

We got the movicol, my ds got so upset at the thought of having medicine he went and did the poo. Then next time he held it in I just said I will get that medicine out and he went and did his poo!

I feel for you though we still have a battle, his behaviour really deteriorates when he needs to poo.

I upped his fibre intake....dried apricots and branflakes for breakfast and made popcorn for snack (that really seemed to help) hid linseed in smoothies.

My ds hates me doing this, but I lay him on his back and pump his legs like you do to babies to get wind out, it seemed to move the poo along.

When he does do a poo we make a big fuss of saying that didn't hurt did it, I bet you feel better now that's out etc etc to try and get him to view it in a positive light