Am I expecting too much of my 2.7 yo

[onefootinthebed]

My 2.7 year old can count to 16, knows the alphabet to g but when we read the alphabet book he gets to z,but that's easy when you are looking at pictures isn't it.we are this week learning to dress and undress himself which he gets a huge clap for but he doesn't seem to get potty training (on our 3rd day today and nothing has gone in the potty) he knows his shapes but not his colours and I feel like I am letting him down. More guilt to the fact I have to work full time and he is an only.

He doesn't do what I ask him to do and I use the naughy chair and 1,2,3.

Even though I can understand what he is saying sometimes I can't.

We had our health visitors review and she didn't seem concerned.

He doesn't do things naturally such as if someone suggests colouring in and he doesn't want to he says no or join in games if he doesn't want to we went to a Christmas party he wasn't even interested in the the woman making balloons. All the other kids were taking part.

I feel like I'm failing him.

Sorry for the total lack of grammer.

He sounds absolutely identical to my 2.8 year old. Totally normal.

My DS is a bit of a "lone wolf" too at the moment, not very interested in playing with others, despite having a brother - i think it's just different personalities!

My nearly 4 yo doesn't know any of the alphabet! She also can't count beyond 10 and even then she sometimes skips the odd number. She struggles with some aspects of dressing and undressing. Talking to a lot of other parents at nursery drop off they have similar problems and we are all hand wringing about only having til September to get our kids up to scratch for starting school. What I'm trying to say is that you have a long time for your DS to get this stuff down, a long time. He's still so tiny, counting at all at that age is fab, so is knowing shapes! Potty training again is something to start at 2.5 but again he's got plenty of time to get that sorted. He's doing great, honestly. I've got two bad with my first I worried about stuff like this, with my second Im not at all fussed, they all get there in the end and at their own pace. Playing together with other kids also comes later, they just sort of play alongside each other at that age.

Oh travelling toad that is so nice to hear. I feel like all I hear from people is why is he not doing x,y and z and have been guilty for ages. I know it's no good to compare children but my sisters seem to act like him not knowing colours is like he will never know them. My mother is on about the potty and because he doesn't sit quietly all day my fil thinks he is badly behaved. The childminder comments that he is babyish when I am there.

Sounds totally normal and like my DS 2.8. He know colours but not many shapes and can't dress/undress himself yet. He can wee on the toilet but won't poo. He's mastered some things and not others.
They all catch up in the end.

Xposts. Oh sod the childminder! Babyish? At 2.8? He's got his whole life to grow up, don't wish away those first early years when he is allowed to be carefree and babyish. They grow up so fast, you blink and it's all gone. The ONLY time to be concerned is when they aren't hitting their milestones but shapes and colours are milestones for preschoolers coming up to their reception year. As for sitting still, I'd just laugh! No way in hell you should be expecting a child of that age to sit still for periods of time, it's cruel because they just aren't capable of that kind of self discipline at that age!

After reading both of your reply's I think I am going to stop stressing about it. I think I'm gonna give up the potty training this week and try again next month.

And stop worrying about bloody colours because that is the thing I have been stressing about mainly.

Re potty training, normally they start to show signs when they are ready. They might start talking about wees and poos or during happy free time might look thoughtful for 30 seconds and stand still right before they do a wee. That's a good time to start saying "DS, are you about to do a wee?"; it's a good introduction to making him aware of his body and transitions nicely to "DS do you need a wee? Let's try on the potty".

I waited until I knew DD had the language skills to tell me she needed a wee or poo. She was just over 3 when she fully nailed it.

*nappy free time

My DS was potty trained at 2, could count to 20 at 18 months, knew all his colours and shapes by 2.

Now he has complex needs and severe learning disabilities. Can't count, doesn't know his colours, can't read or write.

Children develop differently, and although I know DSs case is unique (genetic disorder that causes neuro regression episodes) it does show you that 'early developers' means nothing most of the time. Nor does it mean anything if they develop a bit later.

Just carry on doing things with him, teaching him in a fun way, not being short with him if he isn't getting it, and he'll be fine.

We have had nappy free days the last 3 days,as he is a early morning pooper. I think he isn't ready and I'm just causing us both stress by forcing it.

Thanks for your advice and taking time to reply I needed someone to calm me from panic mode.

Sounds perfectly normal to me! Let him just develop at his own pace and try (I know it's hard!) to relax. It's ok for a 2 year old to be independent too. I had a toddler who was really not that interested in hanging out with other people. He has grown into a perceptive, intelligent and sociable teenager. Enjoy your little man for who he is, not for what you worry other people are expecting.

I think there's some theory about why colours are so hard to learn for some children, that one blends into the next (when does orange become red?) or along those lines. Your son sounds well ahead of my 3 and a half year old in terms of letters and numbers, and he also never wanted to join in with things, until recently. I figure he only has a few months until school when there will be much more focus on all this, right now I want him to have muddy knees and a smile on his face. Hth

My DS can count to about 15, can't recognise any shapes let alone numbers or letters and says every colour is yellow although at football will go & stand on the right colour cone when asked. DC1 could do a lot more at a similar age & I used to worry about her development a lot but, as this is DC1, I'm not worrying as he is well within the normal developmental spectrum & I now know these things just happen. With DC1, I remember really stressing at 3.2 that she didn't recognise her numbers and trying to get her to sit down & focus on them. A few weeks later, she suddenly knew them all. My attempts at intense training had probably had some effect but it was more to do with age & awareness.
The only thing I am really worried about with DC2 is how much longer the terrible twos can possibly last for!

My 2.10 year old counts like this: "1, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10". He doesn't know any letters of the alphabet even when looking at picutres. He can pull his own trousers down but not up again. He's (finally) just cracked potty training but it's taken a while. He knows shapes and colours - although mixes up red and green and I suspect he is colour blind like DH.

I work full time and he is an only child (another on the way)

What you describe sounds perfectly normal to me!

OP he sounds fine and lovely and totally, utterly normal.

Please don't let people around you bully you into hot housing your little boy. He doesn't need to know his colours or his shapes or his bloody alphabet yet. He's still young for potty training. He sounds like a lively, healthy toddler.

Relax and enjoy him, take the pressure off both of you and he will get there in his own time. I have three boys btw and am a SAHM. Neither of my older two were anything like as advanced as your DS at 2.8 and I very much doubt ds3 (just 2) will be either. Partly because I have no intention of doing even half of the stuff that you are worrying about at this stage.

I worked twenty-five years in primary schools, as TA or helper.

I'm afraid I can hardly BELIEVE how much some parents worry and fret, over things that DO NOT MATTER.

If he can't read or do numbers when he gets to Year4, then I give you permission to start to be concerned.

You say he can count to 16; but he CAN'T really. What he does is recite a series of words, in the order you have taught him. But does he have any CONCEPT of what those words mean? Almost certainly not.

If he has some Duplo bricks (and they are one of the most important toys for toddlers) then count them, one at a time, and tell him the colour as you go along. Put them down: ONE, red; TWO, red; THREE, blue. But don't go any further than that yet.
Go over that pattern repeatedly, so that he SEES and can HOLD something that corresponds to the words he has learnt.

You also say you are doing the alphabet: are you using the correct Phonics?

Does he have jigsaw puzzles, or shape-sorting games? Can he use a pair of safety scissors to cut out paper? (junk mail is ideal)

[I will try and come back sometime, with more information.]