Baby wants to be held day and night

[francis223]

I wanted to start a thread about this in the hope that I am not alone, for some reassurance and to share experiences. Also to find out from experienced mums, whether this will pass?!

I have a 6 week old (7 weeks on Mon) who wants to be held constantly. In preparation for baby, I bought a swing chair, moses basket, Sleepyhead, napper chair, and have also bought a Snuzpod thinking that would help, but he refuses to be put down in any of them, awake or asleep.

He is EBF and we are co-sleeping at the moment, as he just won't settle alone. When put down awake, he cries almost instantly. When put down in a deep sleep, he cries after about 10 mins.

I thought the co-sleeper and Sleepyhead would help, but no, make no difference. I couldn't imagine putting him to sleep drowzy and him gently nodding off, it would be impossible, going by his behaviour.

I have tried Ewan the sheep and a light projector show, I haven't tried swaddling. I have tried laying him on front and back.

I use a sling in the day to be able to get anything done.

Has anyone else experienced this, does it pass as a phase?! I am not expecting a miracle cure, just some words from a fellow mum who also has a velcro baby would be wonderful! I enjoy the closeness but I do worry for when he gets older and bigger!

I had a velcro baby. I just went with it. He's 3 now and over there somewhere .

It does pass. Have you ruled out reflux?

Yes, Velcro 2.3 year old here! He's sleeping on me now. I'm not bothered, he's very independent at the childminder's, he just loves a cuddle at night.

Enjoy your little one :)

This sounds pretty normal and probably just a phase. Do you have the book The Wonder Weeks? It's brilliant at explaining all the developmental leaps and how they affect your baby, especially in relation to fussy periods etc. I found it to be a great support. I think if memory serves, there's a big developmental leap at 6-8 weeks. I also remember it was tough at that point as you have to adjust to the fact that they don't just fall asleep on you/anyone/anywhere anymore and you have to start new tactics!
If it goes on for a long time and doesn't seem to pass it might be worth asking your HV about reflux, as it can make babies uncomfortable when lying down. Though TBH, I thought my DD had it at about this age and would keep her upright (ie sleeping on my chest) for 20 mins after feeds but now in hindsight.. I'm sure it was just a phase! Don't worry too much about what you 'should' be doing or what you read in books etc. Just do what you have to do to get sleep for both of you and get through the first year! I understand it is so frustrating not to be able to put them down and get anything done, but it's just a phase, and will pass. I find I deal with the days better when my expectations of what I can achieve are LOW! Best wishes x

DD is very much a Velcro baby, happiest in her sling / carrier, cries if left down in her bouncy chair for more than 5 minutes etc. She is only 14 weeks though so to me that need for closeness is totally normal. Frustrating at times(!) but normal. Just in the last few days I've noticed her becoming a little more content to self settle in her crib for naps but it is a gradual process. I have been wearing a little lovey / blankie we got for her inside my top at night to give it my smell and so now at night when I want to put her into her crib, I give her the lovey so she has my smell to help settle her. (I take it out once she's asleep due to SIDS risk)

At 6 weeks, I wouldn't worry. You're still in the '4th trimester' stage so her wanting to be held is so normal. Keep using the sling - it's great for settling them at that age.

Thank you all so much.

I did think reflux initially but he winds well, and doesn't display the symptoms of either reflux or silent reflux.

I have looked at Wonder Weeks online, and they make a lot of sense!

Funny coincidence, I have just started with a comforter this morning, wearing it down my top whilst carrying him sleeping in the sling, and as I type, he is feeding whilst the comforter is tucked in between us, might create a positive comforting association and might be useful in the future as hopefully he gradually starts being happier with being put down.

I like the concept of the Fourth Trimester, and it certainly does help take pressure and anxiety off, feeling that this is ok and normal.

At that age I would just enjoy the cuddles. Nothing wrong with it. That's the lovely part of having a baby.

Ds was a velco baby I would just sit down, watch crap tv and some films and enjoy the cuddles. Keep snacks nearby and let DP take care of you both when he's home

What andcake said.

DS is 6 months and now is a bit happier at being put down and doesn't always cry straightaway. Most nights he sleeps in his cot after BF to sleep which is good. He hates slings which is a shame. I won't lie, sometimes it's difficult but I mostly enjoy the cuddles.

Yes it's normal, 14 week old velcro here. I would say try swaddling in a large muslin then prop him slightly on his side in the sleepyhead. That's what we've been doing (though dd is getting too old to be swaddled so will have to come up with a new ruse!).

It won't be like this forever. Your baby is tiny - survive it how you can and keep trying things that didn't work before (ie leaving to settle or sleeping in crib)...one day when she is old enough she might just surprise you! For the time being do whatever gets everyone the most sleep.