Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

When should DD start dressing herself?

20 replies

Bangonthedoor · 07/02/2015 06:33

DD is 2.9 and has no patience whatsoever. Which means when it comes round to learning new things, if it doesn't go right first time round then she'll scream and give up.

I'm quite happy helping her with her coat and shoes still and the getting dressed each morning, it's kind of a joint effort so she's still having input. I'm just fed up of being told by MIL that she should be able to do it all by herself now and that her 2 younger cousins (both just turned 2) can get themselves dressed and do their own shoes and socks etc.

Is MIL right? Should she be able to do it all alone by now?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sunnysideup5883 · 07/02/2015 06:54

When she's ready and interested.

Can you make getting changed into a game? Pretend she's a dog or a horse or something

EMS23 · 07/02/2015 06:56

Bloody hell, self dressing entirely at 2yo?! Your nieces/ nephews are genuisus (geni??) and you should call NASA.
MIL is lying.
My 11 year old would still let me dress him if he could get away with it.
My 4yo is just about capable but still needs help with tights and getting tops over her head the right way round.
My 2yo tries to dress herself, can put legs in trousers and pull them up, pull a top on with guidance into the neck hole.

MagratsHair · 07/02/2015 06:58

Ha my DS is 5, in year 1 and I still help him in the mornings He doesn't really need it, he just enjoys talking and giggling whilst dressing as opposed to being in a room by himself and doing it.

Your mil is being pushy. Help your child to get dressed until you decide not to, what other children are doing is not your concern. Presumably she's one of these mils who expect a child to be potty trained at 6 months

Sunnysideup5883 · 07/02/2015 06:58

Your MIL would annoy me. Just ignore or make it into a joke when she mentions it 'yes. X hasn't got her GCSE in Pj changing yet'

You can encourage dd to do little things by herself in small steps but it should be positive and fun and without pushing

Is your MIL going to be like this with every life stage? Will be a nightmare

Sunnysideup5883 · 07/02/2015 07:00

You could always challenge MIL with 'are you going to compare everything the kids do over the years because it's pointless, the kids are different people'

Original poster

Bangonthedoor · 07/02/2015 07:09

Thanks everyone, you've made me feel much better!

Ha yes magrats, we also had the potty training thing! She's been helping SIL attempt to potty train nephew since he was 18 months...6 months on and no progress.....surprised?! Anyway that's a different story!

As I said I'm quite happy helping DD still, it's a joint effort. She'll quite often do her knickers and vest while I do her socks and clothes etc. I'm also happy to continue this until she shows more interest

I've watched my niece and nephew get dressed and put their socks and shoes on etc and they are very good at doing it BUT they are so patient, they will sit there happily trying again if not right the first time. Where as my DD has a completely different personality as said before and this is what I try and explain to MIL.

OP posts:

Guin1 · 07/02/2015 14:19

My DS is 2.5 and the only item of clothing he can put on completely by himself is a hat!

Eva50 · 07/02/2015 21:09

My nephew could dress himself head to toe at two. I'm still helping ds3 (8). He can do it if he has to but is so slow. Ds1 (19) and ds2 (17) were the same. Strangely they never ask me for input now. They will all do it when they are ready.

ChristyMooreRocks · 07/02/2015 21:45

DS is 3.5 and certainly needs help getting dressed. I keep saying about needing to be able to do it for 'big school' (August baby startin in September) which does motivate him a bit but he certainly can't do it on his own.

I cant really believe that a child who has just turned can completely get themselves dressed, trousers on, arms through tops etc?

MillyMollyMama · 07/02/2015 23:28

Mine were required to dress themselves at 4 years old after PE at school. I would work towards this goal. One of our first "homework" requirements was to get dressed in 2 minutes! Children find it fun to beat the clock! Teachers cannot manage a class full of children who cannot dress themselves!

Amber76 · 08/02/2015 00:02

My nearly 4 year old couldn't possibly dress herself.

They are young for such a short time - I can never understand why some people want to rush things. They have many years ahead if them being able to dress themselves - they all get there in the end!

Original poster

Bangonthedoor · 08/02/2015 08:23

Thanks everyone I feel very reassured

OP posts:

tobysmum77 · 08/02/2015 09:46

make the most of it. My just turned 3 year old is fiercely independent but the downside is she also insists on choosing the outfits.

Your dd sounds like my older one. When she starts school is the answer for me

Pico2 · 08/02/2015 10:00

Part if the trick seems to be getting clothes & shoes that are easy to put on. My DD (4) can do the easy things like pyjamas, shoes with Velcro, wellies, but not onesies or tights.

Sophieelmer · 08/02/2015 10:07

Maybe patience is what you should be working on with your dd. She won't be able to learn anything if she won't give it a go. Maybe start emphasising well done for trying so hard rather than achieving. I think most children are capable of dressing by 2.5 if they are consistently given the opportunity. I acknowledge this isn't the easiest to do when you need to get out of the door in the morning especially when each sock takes 3 minutes!

Pico2 · 08/02/2015 10:19

Try this for coats:

GertrudePerkins · 08/02/2015 10:26

dd2 has been entirely independent at getting dressed from 3.

dd1 on the other hand needed lots and lots of training before she started school at 4.6. I think as long as they can get most stuff right (ish) in time for school PE lessons they're fine.

having lots of interesting dressing up clothes helped. we only knew dd2 could dress herself when she arrived down stairs wearing a princess dress, wellies and her sister's swimming hat about 2 minutes before I had to get everyone out of the door for work/school.

Bluepants · 08/02/2015 10:28

I have a nearly 7yo and 9yo. They can dress themselves obviously but I usually help them on a school morning for speed. It's one of these things that we seem to push for and gloat about in the UK but it's totally meaningless - nobody gets to their teenage years without being able to dress themselves. You should just do what suits your family. Just make sure they can do anything they have to do on their own (like get ready for PE at school).

Original poster

Bangonthedoor · 08/02/2015 10:47

Thanks for the link pico2.

sophieelmer, as I said patience is a huge issue. I always praise her for giving things a go and for getting half of it right even if I did the other half for her. I always show lots of encouragement but don't want to force it because I think it will have the wrong effect. She's happy with wellies, knickers, vests, hats, backpack for nursery etc. but struggles with the fiddly things like coats, socks, trousers with buttons etc.

I really appreciate that she will do it in her own time and I'm happy with that, I just wondered what other children were doing at her age.

OP posts:

tobysmum77 · 08/02/2015 10:52

I dont think it's a big issue re patience. My impatient dd is also highly competitive, she's gradually mellowing but it's not a bad thing. It's who she is .

Flip