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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What the hell do you do when your baby HATES the car seat.

24 replies

ElleOhElle · 29/01/2015 15:18

Thank goodness most things are in walking distance or I would go totally insane!! DS is 11 weeks and HATES and I mean HATES the car seat. since birth he has screamed every time we go out in the car. Everyone says "it's ok he'll fall asleep in the car" Er NO he screams and screams til he's a sweaty, jibbering wreck. I've taken to not putting him in a coat or hat in the car because I'm scared he'll overheat?!
He's not keen on his dummy, but really needs to suck, if I could get him to take the dummy would that help???
I really need some ideas here, a 5 minute journey is so stressful, heaven forbid I ever get stuck in traffic!!!
Help me please!
He's in a Maxi Cosi Cabriofix seat, I've taken the wedge out to give him more space as he's quite a big boy.

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PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 29/01/2015 15:27

No real advice, but it is very dangerous for babies and children to be in coats or pramsuits in the car- so you are doing the right thing there.

It may get better as he gets older. How is he with the pram?

Original poster

ElleOhElle · 29/01/2015 15:33

he's slightly better in the pram, got more chance of him falling asleep in there than the car.

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lentilpot · 29/01/2015 15:33

My DS was the same, but eventually placated by having the light and sound part of this play mat on the handle of his car seat www.amazon.co.uk/Bright-Starts-Spots-Stripes-Safari/dp/B0051POJQA

He is much better now he is older - is your baby able to play with toys yet? That helped a bit for short journeys for a while. Also if I was in the passenger seat sometimes played him the the "nightlight" app (Stars rotating around animals? It's weird.) with loud white noise and that helped, sometimes. But felt wrong, like I was hypnotising a baby!

ElphabaTheGreen · 29/01/2015 15:36

Mine's the same. I've disabled the front seat passenger airbag and I put him there (yes, this is legal as long as the airbag is disabled). He keeps his eyes glued on me for the journey, I can replace/hold in dummy as needed and we're both much happier.

BertieBotts · 29/01/2015 15:37

Try to avoid the car as much as possible, and perhaps try a more upright seat so he can see out? If you know anyone with an extended rearfacing seat or you can visit one of the car seat centres and take one for a test drive around the car park leaving something of value perhaps??

It may, of course, be rear facing which is the problem, but he's a long way off being able to face forwards.

Original poster

ElleOhElle · 29/01/2015 15:40

I don't think it's the rear facing as he screams the second I put him in the seat indoors!
lentil I'll try that app thanks.
Will consider disabling airbag, sounds a good idea

OP posts:

crunchyfrog · 29/01/2015 15:45

My now-6 year old was like this. Nothing worked. We just had to ride it out. He stopped when he was about 7-8 months and more entertain able, stayed in the RF seat until about 15 months.

BertieBotts · 29/01/2015 15:47

It could be association with the seat now which is upsetting him because he's expecting the car journey, though.

Have you tried putting the wedge back in or does that not help? Maybe the position or angle of the seat is uncomfortable. See if a friend or shop will let you try him in another brand of seat?

It might be that he just doesn't like being restrained... in which case tough luck!

Showy · 29/01/2015 15:56

My ds was like this and you have my sympathies. I had dd first and she loved the car. It was guaranteed to send her to sleep. DS hated it. He would scream to the point that he was sweating/vomiting. When you got him out he would be doing that uncontrollable shuddering/whimpering they do when they're frightened beyond their control.

I tried everything. I didn't drive so dh would drive and I would sit next to him. I tried bfing him in his seat, singing, talking, toys, not talking, narrating the journey. Everything. Nothing but nothing worked. It took time. Once he could listen to a story CD or talk or flick through a book, he accepted the car and now at 3yrs old, loves being in the car and will happily sit for a long time. We got stuck in terrible, awful traffic in London when he was about 2 and a half and for 5 hours he sang and chatted, snoozed and played. Honestly, he was like a different child. But it took time.

heinztomatosoup · 29/01/2015 15:59

Have you checked he doesn't have reflux? My DS screamed like this when he was a baby, turned out the position of the seat was causing reflux pain, poor baby.

Original poster

ElleOhElle · 29/01/2015 16:04

Oh dear, in not sure I can cope with waiting for him to grow out of it (not that I have much choice) I feel so sorry for him.
reflux is a possibility: how do I know for sure? he has colief at the moment to help with his wind and is BF.

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minipie · 29/01/2015 16:53

So he's windy generally? The folded angle their body is in in the car seat presses on their tummy and will make any reflux or wind worse. Try thorough winding before putting him in and see if it makes any difference.

Reflux: usual sign is pain (crying) during or straight after a feed; not liking being flat on back; may be reluctant to feed, or conversely may want to feed/suck a lot to soothe the burning. Some refluxy babies throw up a lot, others don't (known as "silent" reflux). Acid smelling breath or burps can be a sign (though all babies will have this occasionally).

Also worth considering tongue tie. Signs of tongue tie: shallow latch (just the nipple rather than big mouthful of boob), falls off easily and has to be relatched, pinched nipples after a feed, white tipped nipples, clicking sound when feeding, gets cross/tired when feeding or can't manage a big feed, swallows air when feeding, very windy. May struggle to keep a dummy in. May cause some reflux-like episodes as the air brings up stomach contents.

minipie · 29/01/2015 16:54

PS if it's about the folded angle then putting the wedge back in should help a bit - but may not help enough to make a real difference.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 29/01/2015 17:09

Does the carseat clip to the buggy? Could you clip him in it for walks when he is sleepy and see if he settles in it then?

My DS also hates his carseat, cries the instant he gets clipped into it and only stops crying when the car is moving more than 10mph. Tbh if this happened with DC1 I was a quibbering stressy mess but he is DC2 and I dont know if its that but Im very much "well you will have to lump it, matey, we will be there soon".

Could you try a little mirror, angled so he can see you in your rear facing mirror? Or some toys on the handle? Also try plaing some loud music and singing along - this also pacifies DS and usually sends him to sleep.

DS is 14 weeks and has been like this from the start. I just figure its one of those things I just have to learn to live with it. He cant not be in a seat and I cant stop to pacify him.

Original poster

ElleOhElle · 29/01/2015 17:45

thanks minipie maybe reflux although he feeds very well 95% of the time. will keep an eye on him.

hacked Yes it does go on the pram frame, that's a good idea: might help him get used to it if he can see my lovely smiling -through- -gritted- -teeth- face

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Original poster

ElleOhElle · 29/01/2015 17:45

oh strikethrough malfunction

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mrsslippers · 30/01/2015 02:29

Mine is the same. I have taken to getting the bus everywhere. She also doesn't really like a dummy but I have had some success with a jollypop one (used in hospitals here in Australia) which at least keeps her calm for 5 minute essential trips.

bugoven · 30/01/2015 23:08

I think I cried as much as DS did when he was tiny because he hated his car seat!
I started using it as part of the travel system/buggy and took him for walks wearing as few layers as possible and with the harness only on losely. I also found that when I adjusted the harness so it was on a bigger setting for the shoulder straps and the one between the legs he was much more comfortable. Also made sure his bottom was in the right place so he was "sitting" rather than all scrunched up.
We had some wrist rattle bugs that I attached to the handle and he stared at them and found them quite reassuring I think.
All our efforts paid off pretty quickly and he now rarely gets upset in the car seat.
Hope some of that helps =) X

Original poster

ElleOhElle · 31/01/2015 07:42

Thanks bugoven I've got those rattle bugs so I'll use them next time! glad you had some success

OP posts:

polkadotdelight · 31/01/2015 08:04

bugoven I've pinched the wrist rattle idea!

bugoven · 01/02/2015 20:54

Glad that helped . They are so lovely and bright he is easily distracted by them.

Rockchick1984 · 02/02/2015 03:14

Also may be worth getting one of those large mirrors that you can put over the headrest on the seat - worked for DS as he was fascinated by the baby in the mirror, although nothing worked for DD until she was forward facing.

TiedUpWithString · 02/02/2015 09:46

DD was like this. I took her to cranial osteopathy which even after one session was fab. I got her into her carseat with no complaining and she was fine. Perhaps it hurts his neck/back of his head? Worth a try.

shinjuku09 · 07/02/2015 12:35

We had the same issues and I feel your pain! Our LO had reflux which didn't help. The medicine seemed to help but only a little. Mostly she just hated being constrained, and still does, though she's way better forward facing. Things that did really help were a musical moving mobile (Tiny Love one is good), when she was over six months baby snacks (the ones that dissolve like Wotsits) - but obviously small choking risk, and the best thing by far was putting films and TV on a tablet on the head rest. Any guilt I felt about this disappeared when I realised how much safer I felt without her screaming and shouting the whole journey. Musical and light up toys also good!

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