Argumentative 5 yr old and relationship breakdown

[Hogarth10]

My 5 year old is grumpy and argumentative with our family. I have 2 other much older boys and he argues with them and us all the time. By all the time I mean that that is all he really does. He comes through in the morning and argues whether it is early or late or light or dark or hot or cold, and so it goes on for the rest of the day. We never have a laugh. We try but the only time we have peace is if he is watching a program and apart from that everyone avoids him. Mealtimes are a battle and getting him to school is even worse. I hate what he is turning me into. I spend half my day shouting. I have even smacked him a few times which I am not proud of but he drives me crazy. This morning after a particularly hard school run where i ended up shouting in his face to shut up I have come home and cried in utter despair. I try playing games and I take him to the park but all I get is grief. It is awful.

Well he is only five.

How you treat him will be reflected back at you in his behaviour. I've seen this with my five year old. The more I shout at home and tell him off, the more he does it to all of us. He isn't turning you into anything - you're the adult and you've made a choice to behave that way. He is a child and has a lot to learn.try not to label him as the difficult one.

I've been working on cutting him some slack, being more positive etc and it is paying off.

Pick your battles. School runs are always stressful with younger ones so try and take a step back. Ignore his arguments about light/dark. Try and have little chats with him. Just listen to what he says and don't argue. Show an interest in what he does.

It sounds like you've got into a rut wherein he moans/ strops and you react. And the more he does that, the warier you are of doing something that will make him kick off. Take back control. He comes through in the morning- no, he either goes down and gets breakfast or, better, you go in to him.
'Morning! Guess what the cat did last nigh! Would you like porridge or toast' Ask him open ended questions, be silly. Apparently 5 is a really difficult age for boys hormonally too.

My ds tried this with me at 5....I just ignored the bad behaviour and rewarded the good. I think they just try to push it at that age for some reason. Silliness is definitely a winner as it will make him laugh and start the day in a much better mood.