Where does

[bleary]

DS is just turned one, so we're beginning to think more about how his behaviour is shaped. Is "good behaviour" what's important? Can this be 'taught' to children?
Or is it more about helping them feel right (working on their self-esteem), in the hope that they then behave in ways that please us?
Any thoughts? Particularly from more experienced parents.

At one a child has no concept of right and wrong. Work on self esteem but alos start as you mean to go on. Praise the good and ignore the not so good if it is really naughty/dangerous tell them no firmly but don't expect them to remember. People will comment on behaviour because they fail to remember what it was like with children of this age, as long as you are seen to correct most people will shut up and go away.

As a child gets older and understands the difference between good and bad behaviour again praise the good ignore the not so good for things that you cannot put up with a stern no, if this doesn't work give a warning i.e. if you do xyz again you will sit in the naughty corner then follow it through 1 min for each year of their life.

It is quite a number of years before they know right from wrong. My DD (5.5) is now a gestapo in this respect (as are most girls her age I know) always telling people if they are doing something wrong .

DS at 2.4 just today said "sorry" for stepping on my foot -- but think this was learned from darling daughter.

At your DS age praise him when he does something good. Decide what battles you want to fight before you get there (ie is it important that he wears his coat outside or are you willing to let him have his way when he refuses and then learns he gets cold) as you will be entering into the "challenging" phase as he learns about the world and wants to "do it myself".