Tips for dealing with 7 year old going on 17!!

[Jemster]

My 7 year old ds is driving me mad. He is constantly winding up dd 2.5 until she screams & cries. Every other word is poo, wee or bum which he finds hilarious and she's started copying him!
He seems to have an attitude like you'd expect more from a teenager, moody, rude & not keen on talking to me about school or anything really. He huffs & puffs if I ask him to do anything & doesn't seem grateful for anything I do.
We've tried sending him to his room and not allowing favourite tv but it doesn't make a jot of difference!
I've tried talking to him but he never appears to be taking it in.

I don't know how to deal with him and find myself upset most days by his behaviour. I feel like he is in control when I should be!

Any tips please? Feeling so fed up with moaning at him but the nicely nicely approach gets me nowhere!

Do you think he's seeking your attention? By winding up your DD he gets a reaction that he craves, so does it more. Do you get any one to one time with him (hard with your DD around, I imagine) but he might just love time with you as an antidote to school stress or whatever else might be going on.
We have probs - major ones- with out DS and my reading around the matter suggests that negative behaviour can be borne out of low self esteem and wanting your approval but ironically the only way they know of getting your attention is to behave negatively which then creates a bad atmosphere and the whole cycle becomes self perpetuating.
Have you read the book 'How to Talk so kids will listen'? Meant to be good.

You missed one fart or pump depending on phrase of choice.

Sounds like a 7 year old to me. My middle one is 8 youngest 3.

They have masses of hysterics as wee, poo, bum, fart. Blowing raspberries, saying yuck who farted.

Today DS found a song all about poo on you tube and his 7 year old cousins who've been over will now be home no doubt rejoicing in singing it to their dad who will mock shock and then giggle about it to us later.

At 3 DD knows we don't joke about poo and wee in front of Granny and Grandpa. At home if its happy hysterics I let it go (in the non fart sense of the word). I won't have the silly language at the dinner table or with adult guests over.

The DC are all expected to respect each others space and when they want time away from each other I facilitate this. I also ensure that DS2 (my 8 year old) gets some cuddle time each day just me and him. We do his reading for school and have a good half hour just me and him in the morning because we get up at 6.15 so DH can be fed and get off to work.

Does it really offend you? Is it a full on battle you need to have?

I can sympathise OP. My youngest is 7 today, and over the last few weeks has gone from being an absolute delight, to stroppy, rude, uncooperative, and just generally horrid. We got him some lovely presents (not loads of stuff, not terribly expensive stuff, but a nice selection, none the less) most of which has been pretty much ignored (a lesson to be learned there I think!) apart from his favourite series on DVD. I have spent ages making him a dragon cake, but his behaviour has been so bad, the candles haven't even been lit, and he was sent to bed in disgrace. It makes me so sad, he used to be lovely, but is now a horror. I am hoping that the mantras "it's just a phrase" and "this too will pass" will prove to be true. I don't ever remembering my eldest kids (now 15 & 17) being like this

I'm sorry I have no real advice to impart, but it might help to know you are not alone!