My 5yo dd absolutely hates having her hair washed. I avoid it as much as possible although surprisingly her hair doesn't look dirty most of the time. However every now and then it has to be done! She complains about water going in her ears, she complains when it tickles, she complains if it goes in her eyes, or anywhere on her face, she whinges, whines, wriggles and cries, as though I'm torturing her. I try really hard not to do any of the things she finds distressing, but still she says she hates it.
This afternoon, on the advice of my hairdresser, I had DD bending forwards over the side of the bath so the top half of her was upside-down, and I washed it using cups of water to rinse (she wouldn't let me use the shower head). Nothing went in her eyes; nothing went in her ears, I was really careful and gentle and yet she still wailed that it was awful and she never wants to do it again. It seems this time it was me squeezing the water out of her hair that was too distressing.
BTW, she won't go in a shower either, so that's not the answer.
Has anyone got any tips or just encouraging stories that she will eventually grow out of it?