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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Not sure how to handle this DS saying he doesn't like me

13 replies

GingerPuddin · 29/12/2014 08:04

DS is 3.5 and if DH or I tell him to not do something or don't do what he wants DS starts telling us to go away and he doesn't like us. It's been going on for a month or so. DH thinks we should punish the behavior (naughty step) but I think we should try to ignore it. It really winds me up after a while. Not sure what's the best way to handle it. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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AuditAngel · 29/12/2014 08:07

I would ignore it. It is a phase where they can't really verbalise what they are thinking. The fact is they don't like being told off, you are the one doing the telling off, therefore he doesn't like you. Kid logic.

Finola1step · 29/12/2014 08:09

Ignore it.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 29/12/2014 08:09

I agree - ignore it. Of course he doesn't like you at that point - you've told him off. It is nothing more than that.

zzzzz · 29/12/2014 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PositiveAttitude · 29/12/2014 08:11

Yes, ignore, but I also used to say "well, that's a shame because I love you and always will".

defineme · 29/12/2014 08:19

I would say that's a shame because I love you.
I don't think the naughty step was ever meant for stuff like that was it?
if you overuse it it won't be effective surely?

milkysmum · 29/12/2014 08:21

Oh no don't punish him for it! Both mine have done this at his age. Ignore it or respond with something like' well I love you anyway ds '

Original poster

GingerPuddin · 29/12/2014 08:22

Thanks. I don't want to punish him because he's just expressing his frustration but it really winds me up. Will do my best to ignore and get DH on board with that.

OP posts:

TheFirstOfHerName · 29/12/2014 08:23

"OK. Well I love you."
Repeat as necessary.

BeggarsCantBeChoosers · 29/12/2014 08:25

Definitely don't punish, unless of course he swears or hits you at the same time!

They all seem to do it. We just smiled kindly and said that we always love him, but don't always like it when he's being naughty

Bakeoffcakes · 29/12/2014 08:28

Don't punish him. It might wind you up, but you are an adult and he's 3.5. He's just verbalising how he feels at the time about being told off.

I always used to say "oh well, I love you to bits".

MothershipG · 29/12/2014 08:31

I think that most children express this at one stage or the other. A breezy "Oh dear, well I'm your Mummy and will always love you"
a) takes the wind out of their sails
b) takes the sting out of it, makes them think that they haven't suceeded in riling you (even if they have)
c) actually reassures them that you do love them and it's their behaviour you don't like.

Mehitabel6 · 29/12/2014 08:36

Perfectly normal phase! I agree with MorhershipG. I used to say 'that's OK - I have enough love for both of us' and change the subject.
Very scary for a small tot if you take it seriously!

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