I'm making this post as I'm really feel emotionally drained, really have no idea what to do and would appreciate any advice - i am sorry that it's so long.
The first thing I noticed was at his childminders when he was 3 - as soon as he thought he wasn't being watched he really 'went for' the other child who was 18 months at the time for absolutely no reason. This aggression alarmed me at the time as the other child was so small and it was a 'hard' hit.
Following this, he went to nursery where he consistently could not play with other children, he would hit/be unable to share / play rough etc. He was unresponsive to discipline at this stage - he was both excluded and sent to the headteacher when he was 3 and also referred to therapy. This therapy was not effective (was CAHMS) and there were no strategies offered and no changes to behaviour observed.
Fast forward to reception the problem esculated, I was called into school 4 out of 5 days every single week of the year. The children were awarded a green sticker for a 'full week of staying green' - he did not behave for a full week at school. This included, the continuation of rough play, ripping a boys coat hood off, turning off the lights in a full school assembly, seeing the headteacher at least once a week and just being completely unresponsive to any kind of discipline.
There was a complete lack of support from the school towards myself. I should probably say here, I have tried EVERY form of discipline at home to which he is totally unresponsive. In front of myself/teachers he will literally start laughing even if he is being shouted at. He will roll his eyes/shrug shoulders and seems completely not bothered at all. He is also unresponsive when I tried the naughty step for an extended period of time / taking toys away etc. From therapy i tried to concentrate on positive behaviour much more, but 'stickers and treats' aren't enough for him. He really isn't that bothered about them. He literally does not seem to care about anything.
Anyway, this resulted in me moving him schools as the general attitude of the school before was ' we cant do anything with him'. At his new school, within 6 weeks his class teacher was on the border of crying that she cant cope with him at a school meeting involving about 10 members of staff. He has been hurting other boys (pinching, scratching etc), pushing teachers (hard), pushing boys down the stairs, being completely defiant, wont respond to discipline, consistently calls out in class, laughs when hes being told off etc.
I have Another meeting on tuesday as a follow up to a behavioural analyst from 6 weeks ago - he said if he didnt response to the new discipline system (of ticks/tokens) - he was probably a sociopath. The head also told me we are discussing in this meeting 'how to move forward as he cannot stay with this behaviour'.
I am literally at my wits end. I have absolutely no idea what to do with him. Last night I couldn't stop crying because of this situation that's been for the past 3 years and he literally laughed in my face.
I just don't know what to do. He has also been laughing at any misfortune of someone else if he sees them dropping something/falling over/hurting themselves. He's also told me he 'wouldnt care if i died and wouldnt even come and see me in the graveyard'. i mean it's just strange that a 5 year old would even think like that?
Also, he's given me really sinister smiles. what I mean is for example if he gets in the car after school, i'll question him about how he was feeling that day / why he behaved in that way (e.g scratching someone and leaving a bad bleeding scratch) - he will smile, but it's almost like a sinister smile with strange eyes(?!) and he will say 'oh he was annoying me it was HIS fault'
I also feel like if i talk to my gp about this i'll sound slightly crazy? I mean i know this has been so long, but ?! what kind of professional help am i supposed to seek. and what the hell do i say on tuesday?
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Behaviour/development
5 year old about to be expelled - need advice.
68 replies
reallyconfused123 · 27/11/2014 07:27
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