Three year old having tantrums and wetting himself

[smileattherain]

I was wondering if anyone else had any experience with this! My three (and four months) year old DS has been pretty much potty trained for about a year now, but in the past few months will very regularly have a tantrum and then wet himself.

I always ask him if he needs a wee, and he will always say no, even when he then wets himself straight after I have asked him. I have been trying to stay very matter of fact about it, but I can't work out whether he needs a wee so is having a tantrum or vice versa.

He never does this at pre-school, though he will often not go at all there for three hours, then have a tantrum and wet himself as soon as we get home.

Is this a 'typical' thing, or just him?

Could it be a control thing? Maybe he hates being asked and that's why he tantrums? My DS gets very cross when I ask him if he needs to go, even if it's obvious that he's desperate. He'll get more and more wound up, insisting that he DOES NOT NEED A WEE! until he either has an accident or makes a mad dash to the loo. Maybe stop mentioning it for a bit, which is hard I know!

They're strange little things, aren't they?

DD is 4.6 and on a very rare occasion she still does this. She mainly does it when she's tired and it's very much a control thing - she wakes up needing a wee, is too sleepy to figure it out and then goes batshit when I have the temerity to suggest she might want to go to the loo. When she was younger it would happen at any time, again when she didn't realise she needed to wee, but the discomfort made her completely irrational, so the smallest thing would set her off and as part of the "release" of the tantrum, she'd wee all over the floor and then be fine. Time and a mop was the only thing I've found to improve the situation...

Sorry it has taken so long for me to reply, Mrsfrumble and FruitBasedDrinkForALady and thank you - but yes, control does seem very likely at the moment as does the getting irrational at the discomfort of doing a wee but not knowing why - but with DS i think it happems all the time, not just when he is sleepy.
I'm glad to hear that time sorted it, did you just back off completely and deal with the mess without talking about it?