3.5 year old and potty training

[diydiva]

DS is 3.5 years, and has been able to wee standing up by himself in the loo for at least six months. However I still can't get him to poo in the loo or even a potty - been trying for over six months. When I ask him why he doesn't tell me before, he insists he just doesn't know when it's coming. Can this be true at his age, or is there another reason? I regularly find him squatting in the corner so he could tell me if he really wanted to.

I made a reward chart especially, with a sticker for each time he tells me but it isn't working and I try to ask him throughout the day if he needs to go and sometimes catch him at the right moment, n which case he's happy for me to help him go in the loo, but more often than not he just goes in his pants (often refuses to wear a nappy). I know he's still only little and it's not a huge problem if I have to insist on nappies for longer, but it's the fact he can wee alone and doesn't want to wear nappies any more that I'm wondering if there is something else I can do to help him?

So is he wearing nappies during the day?? If so my 1st step would be to stop them completely and stick him in pants.

Oh sorry I see , he is in pants

Are there other developmental concerns - what age did he crawl, sit up, walk? How is his speech?

No other developmental concerns, his speech is fine for his age, he crawled at 7 months and walked at 13.
Yesterday we had three pairs of pooey pants

My DS is 3.3 yr old and is now (mostly) dry during the day. However he poos himself daily. He does know it's coming but runs away and screams no to the toilet. He says he wants to do it in his pants

I've tried all forms of bribery without success.

DS is ahead in every other developmental respect. Potty training has been a nightmare. Part of it is that he doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go to the toilet. The other part is he doesn't seem to care about the rewards on offer for doing so.

I only managed to get him dry by buying him expensive Disney Planes die cast toys and Thomas the Tank electric trains

Yesterday after he pooed himself, I asked why he didn't want the chocolate AND Creaky cranky Crane on offer for doing a poo in the toilet/potty. His reply "I've got enough Thomas now Mummy so no thank you".

No help I know but solidarity!!

And also making place for other suggestions.

I know it will sound like too much information, but can you explain to him how it feels - how it makes a strange feeling in your lower tummy, how to push the poo out - and encourage him to sit on the potty once in a while and push out like the incredible hulk (worked with DS).

DS2 has Dyspraxia (we leaned this when he was 5) which means that he had difficulty controlling his muscles, and it took us ages to potty train him. I also believe that he couldn't feel the muscles down there well enough to control them. Doing the hulk a few times a day encouraged him to push the poo out and learn to control the muscles.

Mrs Florrick, your bribes sound much fancier than mine, maybe I the new Lightning McQueen pants I'd promised him are not cutting it and I need to notch it up a bit! Your three year old sounds very similar so nice to know mine is not alone. These things are just meant to click aren't they, and I've been waiting for an almighty click for far too long...

Rocket, we have talked about how it feels and he nods away like he understands but it's hard to know if he really does. Whenever I catch him in the act and tell him to come with me to the loo he gets so angry and shouts "I hate you!" (which is actually quite funny, because he knows he's been rumbled) and depending on his mood, sometimes he'll come with me, and sometimes he'll fight it.

We did it with a sticker chart (one for a wee, two for a poo, chart for her and chart for fave teddy). Also a song (one two three, I love to do a wee, on my special toilet seat, one three two, I love to do a poo, on my special toilet seat). Special toilet seat from Argos, has steps so DD can get up herself. Was about €20 I think. Also, told her the story of the poo 'climbing down' to get out. She shouts 'escape to freedom' when she's doing a poo. A bit mad but really did the trick! She was just gone three when we trained her.