3 yo DD withholding poo.. Help please!

[WishYouWereMine]

DD will be 3 next week and has been withholding her bowel movements for a few weeks now.
Brief history is.. She's had problems with constipation for about a year now and is on movicol for it. Her BMs are now soft so I'm sure the problem isn't there. She has been potty trained for about 2 months now and is super for wees.
She started off well with BMs but Recently she is just holding on and on until she can't hold it anymore. We know she needs to go because she dances around and is holding herself, she'll ask to go to toilet but will just get off straight away - even mid wee. The only way we have got her to go is to physically hold her on the toilet (when we know it's coming) but it's horrible.
I feel sure that the problem is that she thinks it will hurt. I don't think is holding her on the loo is helping her get over her fear, but don't know what else to do :( she is so so miserable when she needs to go but is bright as a button afterwards.
Any advice please?
Please excuse any typos, I am using my phone.

The best advice I was given on here was to get the child to blow up a balloon when they were sitting on the loo, they can't hang on to their poo whilst doing this. Is she old enough to blow up a balloon?

Also Poo goes to Pooland is a very good book, you can download it.

If all else fails, glycerin suppositories will help.

Good luck. It is a nightmare when they do this.

We had this! Christmas Day of 2011 was day 9 of withholding poo. It was hideous. Busy now, but search for a post by me in Oct 2011 called "Witholding Poo". Loads of good advice on there.

Sneaky poo story online good. Stops it becoming a battle between you two and becomes both of you Out smarting sneaky poo

Here's my thread on the subject the books recommended really helped.

Poo Goes To Pooland

Thank you BikeRunSki I will check out your thread. We've been reading Poo goes to Pooland this evening. She loves it :) Hopefully the message will sink in if we just read it with pressure off.

Humphrey we also tried the balloon - brilliant! It completely took the pressure off when she was sat on the loo, and she had a poo! Only a little one but it was something, and she couldn't stop laughing.

Thank you everyone :)

Those windmills that you blow to make them go round are good too, or pots of bubbles.

Thanks Littlefish - will give that a go too to mix it up.

Try singing loudly too - anything that makes children breath/blow out will help.

Had this with my dd too. Its horrid to go through. Movicol is excellent and make sure she has lots of fluids if you can. My dd would eat bowls of fruit and fresh figs but still wouldn't go.
I think it started with my dd having a poo that hurt so then didn't want to go as was worried it would hurt her. So what I done was cut out cheese as didn't do her any good as can cause constipation and didn't need any help as she was struggling as it was, Apple juice and lots of water and we read story's about mr poo which helped her so much. Tell your dd that mr poo needs to come out that he doesn't want to be in her tummy. My dd still says now that me poo wants to come out or he kicks my tummy and makes it hurt so I have to push him out. Really was so upsetting watching my dd go through this hope this helps x

We have this with DS1, just 3yo, especially since starting potty training. I've been looking for a book to read with him but have an inexplicable hatred for the word "poo". I've just spent all evening writing my own book about "Francis the faeces" thanks to this thread. DH thinks I'm mad & I probably won't be able to read the book with DS1 without giggling!

Sorry am really laughing at 'Francis the faeces'. Oh dear!

Well apparently she went no problem with Nanny and Grandad this afternoon although it was a long one.

Fingers crossed we can just make it fun for her (the balloon thing really took the pressure off) and that may make it better.

If she's that determined not to go, then I'm afraid you will probably have to increase the amount of movicol she has until she can't hold it in. It will cause lots of accidents, but at the age of 3 there's no problem with her being in nappies.

It will take TIME, she has to believe that it will continue to be pain free.

Barbara It Hurts When I Poop really helped us. Is "poop"better than "poo*?

My initial thoughts

Make the toilet seat comfortable maybe with one of those plastic seats.
Give her a chair or stool to rest her feet on.
Limit toilet time to 15 mins maximum at a time. I use the ipad to keep ds2 sitting there. He only gets to use it for his 15 mins toilet time.
Reward the effort not the actual pooing. So she therefore gets a sticker for sitting there for 15 mins trying even if no poo is produced.
DS2 does 15 mins in morning, then another 15 mins after school. Plus a final 15 mins after dinner.

No advice to add I'm afraid, but just wanted to say we've been there with ds1 earlier this year (he's 3.9 now).

He'd hold it for days, go all pale and lethargic and moody. He'd dance around holding it, and would cry with the discomfort

Tbh, I think part of it was a control and/or attention thing. Movicol, lots of fluids and patience is what it took. I ended up having to ignore him when he was making a fuss (ds2 had arrived around the same time, so think ds1 was feeling left out).

It will get better op

Thanks Bike but "poop" is just as bad as "poo". It just makes me cringe every time I say it! Am perfectly happy saying faeces though!

I showed DS1 my story earlier & he thought it was hysterical... until I tried to relate it to him & talked about what happens to digested food. At that point he gave me a very pointed look & informed me that Francis doesn't want to go down the toilet.

Wish it made me laugh too, that's why I did it! Just to add to your amusement, here's the story...

And the finale...