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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

dd doesn't like cuddles and I'm worried

15 replies

AntiDistinctlyMintyMunty · 29/08/2014 13:54

Hi all, dd is 18 weeks and doesn't like me to cuddle her. She's happiest on her play mat on her back, and sometimes for a while in her bouncy chair. If she's crying she doesn't let me comfort her, it just makes her worse if I try . I can carry her around the house on my hip etc and she's fine, but doesn't like being on my lap or in my arms. She doesnt even seem to enjoy being (breast)fed any more.

I goggled (big mistake) and came across loads of references to autism. Has anyone else had a baby like this? Thanks

OP posts:

IHeartKingThistle · 29/08/2014 14:03

DD was not a cuddler. Nor is DNeice. If I went in to comfort her in the cot it didn't help, she seemed to need time on her own to get herself to sleep tbh. Didn't want to sit and cuddle but, like your DD, very happy to be carried about. In her case she was a very nosy baby who just wanted to see what was going on! She got a lot more cuddly at around the 2.5/3 mark and now at 7 is very affectionate, though still quite independent. Hope that helps!

SavoyCabbage · 29/08/2014 14:05

Yes my dd was like this too. She's 10 now. She was never a cuddly baby or toddler. She would never snuggle on to your lap and watch TV for example. She must seemed to need a bit of space somehow. Like she didn't like being restricted. It just seems to be a part of who she is. My other dd is not like this at all!

She is a lovely girl who is kind and loving. She always holds my hand when we walk along.

momofmonster · 29/08/2014 14:16

Hi i wouldn't worry too much at this stage. According to my mother i was never a cuddler throughout my whole childhood and now actually. My ds was never a cuddler either - if i tried to cuddle him he would pull away/turn his face/push at me. He's 5 now and there are days i can't get him off me. As soon as he's awake he is straight in my bed for cuddle time, on the evening he loves to snuggle up on the sofa and he is incredibly loving. Like a pp my child didn't get cuddly until about 2 and a half.

frankiebuns · 29/08/2014 14:50

My ds is nearly 4 and was never really a cuddler. And i still have to ask for a hug and its him really! Although he is borderline aspergers. He takes after his dad who is a strong silent type who isnt cuddly either. Im ok with it my ds knows i love cuddles! So does give me them if i ask

MiaowTheCat · 29/08/2014 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MJP1 · 29/08/2014 21:28

My 18 month dd has only recently started wanting or showing any affection is the form of full on head swallowing kisses :) its gross but we love it !
These feisty independant lovelies love you all really just in their own way. I steal cuddles from my friends babies and my little dog instead.

reup · 29/08/2014 21:35

My ds1 never cuddled as a baby. We would position him so it looked like he was! I can't remember when he started but he's 11 now and ridiculously cuddly, even in public!

piratecat · 29/08/2014 21:41

dd 12 was the same. just as you describe in your op.

She is still the same, but she is loving. She didn't like breast feeding, wanted to get off laps, and was happiest in her own space.

She was always very sensitive to tastes, noises and textures. Though that has worn off alot over the yrs with growth and experience. I did feel a bit sad she wasn't a hugger, but we have always had close bond and love being together.

hth

EatDessertFirst · 29/08/2014 22:34

Both my DS (now nearly 4) and DD (now nearly 6) were exactly like this. They'd scream blue murder if they were picked up/cuddled/held when they didn't want to be. They are more cuddly now, on their terms, but very much like their own space.

Lovelydiscusfish · 29/08/2014 22:41

My dd (2.5) didn't love cuddles till about one. Loves them now though! Your dd is still very tiny - try not to worry - I do wonder if some babies just don't like to be constrained in any way, just love to be free to kick, thrash, roll etc. Mine, for example, was always very anti-swaddle, although it seemed to be the new best thing when I had her!

chocnwine · 30/08/2014 07:13

My DC is severely autistic - and very cuddly.

Original poster

AntiDistinctlyMintyMunty · 30/08/2014 14:47

Thanks for your input everyone, I'll try not to worry!

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 30/08/2014 14:47

At 18 weeks this is not a marker for autism. Some babies just aren't cuddly :) Please don't worry.

noisytoys · 30/08/2014 15:04

My DD who is autistic is very cuddly, my DD who isn't autistic doesn't like cuddles at all, she loves her own space.

rallytog1 · 30/08/2014 22:20

My now 16mo dd hated being held, cuddled and sometimes even being touched. I got some very judgy looks once when she kicked off at the sling library and I just lay her on the floor to cheer her up (it worked!)

Now at 16mo she is happy, lively, gregarious and has no signs of being on the autistic spectrum. As a pp has said, some babies are just feisty and independent - it's a good thing

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