Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

how do u teach a 7 month old the poiletness/niceties etc?

67 replies

munz · 20/09/2006 08:37

(think that's the right phrases)

anyhow the boy likes to slap down on things (ie his toys) also scratches, and pinches (althou granted not as much as when he first started at 6 months), now he's crawling about, he's after things he shouldn''t have - ie the sky box/phone line. also yesterday noticed he was trying to grab anopther lo's toy at the P&T group (I moved him away and said no it's not his toy) he wasn't being horrid, he just appears very inquisitive - I guess as everything's new there.

I took some of his toys and he was sharing those with the other babies there.

so far we've been moving him away from theings we don't want him to have and saying no play with this and giving him something of his to play with - althou 95% of the time he'll turnstaright back and go after the 'forbidden thing' and for the scratching/pinching we've been doing the whole 'aww you hurt mummy, no' and scrunching his hand a little (not enough to hurt him but enough to know it's not nice iycwim)

anything else I can do? is this just a stage they pass thru? I know i'm a worry wort, but after watching the super nanny I want to nip any such behaviour in the bud!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 20/09/2006 08:40

Dont be silly hun! He is still learning!!

Becky is a little blighter at the moment.... NTL box, remotes, interupting Jessi's play!

We just say no and try to distract but if it doesnt work then theres not much we can do. THey have no understanding of right and wrong.

TBH we are stil ltrying to get Jess to share nicely. Ive implemented a new idea today that i hope will solve some problems - every time they refuse to paly nicely with a toy, it gets put in a box in the kitchen (that they cant get to because of stair gates) and neither of them can play with it.

He's still young hun - the nipping and slapping will tail off - he is still learning how to use his limbs!!

Original poster

munz · 20/09/2006 08:43

thats what I was thinking, it's just well u know what these bloody groups can be like sometimes and I'd hate to have another child scratching/pinching him etc. I know being paranoid right? lol.

(god who said this whole parenting/teaching em stuff was easy?)

OP posts:

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 20/09/2006 08:44

its all a part of growing up hun - they all do it - we had incidents of JEss biting at toddler group - well it broke my heart, but the other mums understand because they all do it at one time or another.

just relax it - he is still a baby!

Bozza · 20/09/2006 09:03

You just have to remove him from the situation.

oops · 20/09/2006 09:30

Message withdrawn

sfxmum · 20/09/2006 09:41

so tiny! barely understands he is a different person separate from you, has no sense of right or wrong, and will not have it for a few years still.
likes to explore and get reactions from people.
i find that some distraction while softly talking does the trick, as much positive interaction as possible really.
if not gently removing from the situation is best. i find that using 'no' is counterproductive

i know it is tiring and wearing but i think it pays off
also a lot of please and thank you from the grown ups helps set good role models

kittywits · 20/09/2006 09:49

Munz, he's a little, little baby, he doesn't even understand that he is separate from you yet . Give it another year at least before you try to punnish him

kittywits · 20/09/2006 09:50

This has quite upset me actually. Super nanny has a lot to answer for.

cardy · 20/09/2006 09:51

Sounds completely normal to me.

GreensleevesTheParrot · 20/09/2006 09:52

God, I agree with kittywits

I despise Supernanny and all that formulaic mindless crap she peddles.

Enjoy him while he's little - plenty of time to teach him the rules when he's bigger

CarolinaMoon · 20/09/2006 09:55

haven't read the thread, but 7mo is way too early to teach 'manners' imho.

Keep him away from dangerous stuff/things he can break (e.g. the sky box) by saying no and taking him away from it (again and again and again...). Same for the scratching etc.

I wouldn't do the hand-scrunching tbh - what are you going to do instead of hand-scrunching when he's bigger?

curlew · 20/09/2006 10:07

PLEASE don't scrunch his hand even a little - he is far too young to understand and all he will learn is that it's OK to do that to other people. And he's too young to hurt people on purpose - he's just exploring and finding out how to use his hands and arms. Just remove him from the situation if you have to. And put things you don't want him to touch out of sight. Nad be as nice and polite to him and to others in front of him as you want him to be. He'll learn by example.

sfxmum · 20/09/2006 10:12

oh yes i forgot to mention how much i DESPISE suppernanny and of that ilk well then i despise her!

for some reason it gives the impression children should conform to a model of grown up behaviour, this when grown up behaviour is quite appalling

i think as parents we are here to listen nurture teach by example make them feel loved and cared for , children then will naturally want to please anyway

ok be quiet now - sorry for outburst

iris66 · 20/09/2006 10:24

munz please don't scrunch his hand or punish him!!! As others have said, just gently remove him or distract him with a toy - he is soo young. I've an 8mth DS who is into everything too & slaps/pinches etc. He's just finding out about his world & learning to use his hands/limbs.
FWIW He pinches me whilst bf (I've got a permanent bruise & it's not something I can move him away from!) I say ouch & make a sad face when he does it then take his hand & stroke it over where he's been pinching & say "gently, that's nice" & smile. Over time he's started being more gentle. Carrots work better than sticks IMHO

kittywits · 20/09/2006 10:27

I've said this some many times, but I'll say it again 'cos it's so ridiculous and seems so obviously outrageous.

Supernanny has no children of her own.

No matter how much 'experience' you have, you can't know what you are truly talking about until you have lived with children day in, day out for years and years and years.
It's a completely different ball game to managing someone else's kids and then going home to a child free house.
Supernanny's experiences are extensive but are also very limited because she doesn't have her own children.
It's like someone talking about the details of child -birth and coaching someone through it if they've never been there themselves.

GreensleevesTheParrot · 20/09/2006 10:32

I bet she wouldn't know what had hit her if she had her own children. There's only so far that sort of "computerised parenting" can get you.

WigWamBam · 20/09/2006 10:33

Surely even Supernanny wouldn't advocate doing this for a child so young?

He's a baby - he's barely in control of his limbs yet, let alone anything else. He hasn't worked out that other people feel pain; in fact as others have said, he hasn't worked out yet that he's a separate being from you. Empathy for others won't come for at least another year yet, and probably longer.

He isn't being naughty - he is too young to know that what he's doing hurts. Please don't punish him, just remove or distract him.

nailpolish · 20/09/2006 10:35

i thought 7 months was a typing error, and you actually meant 7 years

he is still a baby, you just have to remove him from the situation, if he repeatedly hits. once i would suspect it was a show of affection. he can barely tell the difference between hit and cuddle at this age

nailpolish · 20/09/2006 10:36

i mean himself giving a cuddle, or whatever

god i hope you see what i mean

kittywits · 20/09/2006 10:38

Ah Greensleves, we have found mutual ground horaay. I feel better now

kittywits · 20/09/2006 10:39

No, I'm not being sarcastic

FillyjonktheBananaEater · 20/09/2006 10:43

eh? 7 months?

He is absoluety tiny. Start worrying if he is still doing this is 7 years.

I actually did all of this with dd-only because she has a brother who is 2 years older and I needed to be consistant between them. I am absolutely certain that she had not the faintest idea what was going on, it was purely for his benefit.

The only advice I have is to stay out of situations where it causes a problem that your son is taking other kids toys. Anyone who has a problem with a 7 mo taking their kids toys is a complete loon who you should avoid, btw. I teach both my kids to be tolerant of babies (otherwise their mums don't let me cuddle them-the babies that is)

LIZS · 20/09/2006 11:00

He's 7 months old ! He doesn't distinguish between a toy and any other thing that comes his way so will touch and explore them all. He explores his world by using his senses, mainly touch atm, and at least he is not putting everything in his mouth. If it bothers you that much get a playpen and childproof the rooms where you spend most time. Otherwise a quiet no and removal with distraction - perhaps having a few toys and household things such as wooden spoons for him to explore in a box which is kept to hand and contents changed over regularly.

sorrell · 20/09/2006 11:14

IGNORE SUPERNANNY!!!!
Your child is a baby. He has about as much concept of right and wrong as a goldfish. If he is grabbing another child's toy just distract him or gently remove him.

SoupDragon · 20/09/2006 11:14

My first response was to giggle but I realise I do try to teach BabyDragon (7 months
) already. When she pinches my face, pulls my hair etc etc, I say "no" firmly and take her hand and gently stroke my face with it saying "gentle, gentle". Same sort of thing if she grabs a toy off another baby.

I'm not expecting her to actually remember or act on this just yet but it reinforces the message.

Flip

1 2 3