Refusing food

[LittleMissRayofHope]

My dd is 2.1 and has started refusing foods she has eaten hundreds of times.
She didn't eat dinner last night and went to bed with nothing and how now refused lunch.

I am not of the mindset where I will make endless meals and bin loads of food so I am refusing to give an alternative. Her lunch is the dinner she refused. She won't even taste it. She simply pushes it away saying 'I can't like it' and then screams n cries for something else.
DH will give in everytime as he thinks it is more important that she eats. So I am doing this with no support.

Has anyone else had to do this? I feel awful but it's so frustrating to spend time and money cooking stuff that she does like and have her refuse to even taste it!

I wouldn't push the same food for the next meal. Just give the next meal as you would if she has eaten previous meal. That way you won't cook more than you would anyway, and she won't be forced to eat something she doesn't want that particular day. Just think, sometimes you may not want a particular meal even if you like it. Repeatedly forcing it, may make problem and longer term dislike, as she may develop negative associations. So, I suggest, do not offer alternatives at the same sitting, but serve the next meal as if previous has been eaten. Some binning of the food is inevitable with toddlers, I'm afraid.

I agree with daluze, I think by giving her the last meal again, you are in danger of making it into a battle of wills, which will be unpleasant for both of you, and is likely to turn this into a big issue. I'd just take away any uneaten food without making any fuss, and present the next meal when it is time. I also think you and your DH need to talk and come up with an approach that you are both happy with or you will end up with a very confused little girl.

He won't undermine me if I am doing this but if he is giving dinner and she refuses he will go get something else u til she eats.

Ok, well it's done now for lunch but I will try something new for dinner.
It just means I've got a freezer draw full of stuff she has suddenly decided not to eat and of course I give it as a meal knowing I'm gonna bin it and that she goes hungry.... Just makes no sense. I don't want to stop serving these meals as they are good tasty healthy dinners :(

Is she saying what she would like to eat instead?

Yes.

Houmous, breadsticks, cheese, olives.

That's it. Every mealtime.

If I serve her pasta she will eat it as she loves pasta. And with almost anything on. But otherwise she does seem to enjoy finger foods. We are mostly having a problem with a shepherds pie type meal and lasanga. Which is odd as she loves them both!

All my dc's went from eating everything to eating very limited types of food around this age - mainly cream cheese sandwiches, cereal, yoghurt. It's part of growing up and becoming independent. I explain that if they want to be fussy and refuse then they'll go hungry, and only give in and offer an alternative if it's nearly bedtime (I won't send a child to bed hungry).

Don't make a big deal about it at all - just keep offering healthy options.

If my dc's absolutely refuse to eat but are hungry then I offer a rusk, banana, weetabix, toast, any fruit or veg.

Yes I do offer a banana before bed. Although last night a&e refused that as well as she wanted a biscuit. So I took that to mean she wasn't hungry enough to actually eat and she did go to bed on empty stomach and slept all night.

It's good to hear that all your dc's did this (obviously it's not but if you get my meaning it's reassuring that maybe it's a very common thing) so maybe I'll keep these foods to one side for a while and try other things?

I feel like I compounded the problem as I'm heavily pregnant and have been so exhausted I've been giving her the same stuff a lot and wonder if she just got used to it?? She's my first as well so no frame of reference.

Thanks for all suggestions! All advice is awesome and appreciated!

You've had some good advice - I'd emphasise that you and your DH should definitely agree a consistent approach. DD is unlikely to cooperate with your firmer standpoint if she knows she can just make big eyes at Daddy and he'll get her whatever she wants!

Reassure him that she really won't fade away if she doesn't eat full meals every day - most kids seem to have an unnerving ability to live on little more than fresh air when they wish to. Not a talent I've ever had, unfortunately