Calling mum's of 2 year old NT daughters

[Babieseverywhere]

Just wondering if you could answer a few questions

1. How many verbal words does your daughter use ?

1. Would she ignore you, if you call her name ?

1. How difficult or easy is it to strap her into car seat/pram ?

1. How much and how loudly does your daughter scream ?

1. Would your daughter play on their own for half an hour or take themselves upstairs to bed ?

1. Does your daughter get very upset if you are not around, even when daddy is with them ?

1. Anything else you want to tell me that NT two year old girls do or don't do.

Anyway, regarding question number 5)

If you ever get your child assessed by an autism diagnosis team. They will definitely look at this area, especially if it's the module 1 or 2 assessment tool.

A child should frequently direct their parents to their attention. So I guess if a child is playing on their own and is finding hard to attend you in their play or show you something, theres an issue. Your daughter should be bringing you toys frequently, looking at you constantly in play.

But if they are not doing that, then it may be a delay or something serious going on

But hey I may be wrong, but a lot of kids play by themselves.

1. Too many to count

1. Yes, if she didn't want to do what I was asking.

1. Pretty easy almost all the time.

1. Not very frequently but she can be pretty loud if she wants to make a point.

1. 20 mins or so. Her cot sides are still on so she sometimes goes to climb on to it but can't physically get in.

1. Not particularly although she will find me at home if I'm upstairs. If DH is with her she wouldn't be fussed about much - daddy's girl.

1. Anything else you want to tell me that NT two year old girls do or don't do.

In my opinion. I don't think the playing on their own is an issue. It's more about how I guess she is showing you her interest. So she can be playing on her own and frequently looking at you, brining you toys etc.

The question you are asking, does not really hold much difference as every child is different and unique in their own way.

adrianna22, It is not insensitive to ask for a particular subset of parents for advice.

FYI my 6yo DS has asd traits and social communication difficulties and IS on the autism pathway for our area. I am waiting to find out if his anxieties have a particular cause or not.

I have posted in the SN sections of this forum to ask for advice regarding my DS, why is it insentitivity to ask for an alternative section of parents a question regarding my DD3 ?

I am trying to clarify concerns around my daughter, from the responses on this thread, I am hopeful she will catch up with her peers given enough time.

I agree, I don't think playing on her own is an issue either.

I think the HV team are being over cautious and hopefully the first comm paed appointment will also be the last for DD3. :)

I started a similar thread, when in behaviour/development, when ds was a baby, I don't think it is insensitive,it is just hard sometimes to get a perspective on where your child is, and helps to ask others where their children are. (It was the most depressing thread ever for me, if I recall!!)

I hope your appointment comes soon, Babies.

Thanks Hazey :) Glad I am not the only one to write a similar thread. Of course I had no intentions of being 'insensitive':(

I am currently broken hearted, at the thought of having two children who need more help than I expected.

Not that this affects how much all my children are loved and wanted, just that I hoped our children would be happy, healthy and to have an relatively easy life.

It is hard to collect information about specific groups of children. In real life I only know one two year old and she is very advanced compared to my child.

Thank you to everyone who answered my questions, you helped to reassure me.

Now to wait 9 months again for another Comms Paed appointment.

2.3 yr old

1: has hundreds and hundreds of words. Talks constantly. Very clear and in context. Asks questions.

2: will pretend not to hear sometimes but will generally respond to is

3: no trouble at all except when she fits started walking and wanted to walk but needed her to go in!

4: she squeals/screams quite loudly but is usually through playing/excitement/chasing

5: wouldn't take herself to bed but will colour/do puzzles/happy land for 10 mins or so.

6: if she's with daddy she's fine. If she knows I'm around but maybe putting baby to bed and daddy does bedtime, she gets upset. Mummy is number 1 to her. If I wasn't there at all she will be fine with daddy. Not too keen on other people. Will stay very close to me.

7: ummm can't really think of much as don't know what you're looking for. She can put her wellies on the right feet, follow instructions, count, knows her colours, loves to run and jump but gets very lazy and will want to go in pushchair or be carried. She's knows her full name but wouldn't recognise it written down. Ummm, can't really think!

Just wondering if you could answer a few questions

1. How many verbal words does your daughter use ? Too many to count now. Talks in 4, 5, 6 word sentences.

1. Would she ignore you, if you call her name ? Yes. If its something she doesn't want to do, like shes busy doing something and I want her to come for her dinner.

1. How difficult or easy is it to strap her into car seat/pram ? Its difficult. Have some success with giving her a choice of do you want to climb in or do you want me to help you? But 80% of the time its a struggle.

1. How much and how loudly does your daughter scream ? She squeals and shouts a lot. Shes quite noisy.

1. Would your daughter play on their own for half an hour or take themselves upstairs to bed ? She would never take herself off to bed, ever! She would always need me to settle her. She can play on her own in a room for about 10-15 mins before she will come and find me or call for me to come but she can play on her own for quite a while if im in the room with her.

1. Does your daughter get very upset if you are not around, even when daddy is with them ? No, shes a big daddys girl so couldn't care less if im around or not when hes there but if its just us two in the house, its depends on her mood, sometimes shes more clingy and wants me by her side and other times shes quite happy doing her own thing.

Shes 2.2 yrs old.

1. Anything else you want to tell me that NT two year old girls do or don't do.

1. Speaks in full sentences of 6+ words.

1. Sometimes, but she knows she is doing it. She is a cheeky one.

1. Not at all. She sometimes cries going into the buggy, but distracts easily.

1. Cries when she doesn't get her own way. At least one full tantrum per day, but hates time out so will calm down fairly quickly if I suggest it.

1. Plays on her own for half an hour. Does not take herself to bed. Bed time consists of her talking and singing keeping dd1 and ds awake. We have to sit in the room otherwise she will get out of bed umpteen times.

1. No she is fine with her Dad, DM and with one of her Aunties. She would if left alone with DB, her Grandad or any of her other Aunties or Uncles, but they don't see her as often.

1. There is a wide range with 2 year olds, at least if there is a problem being referred will mean she gets help early on.

Oh she is 2 1/2 years old.

Agree with a PP that seeking your attention is more important than whether she plays alone or not. DD will play alone for a short time but will always come looking for someone to play with her sooner or later. If she playing on her own and I'm in the room she will look at me every so often as if to say 'look at me'. A friend with a DD who is ASD would have described her DD's play at that age as 'in her own world' and she never sought hers or her DH's attention for anything. There has been new research done that the 'checking in' sign is very important indicator. So given a new toy would your DD's face light up with glee as she explores it, would she glance at you as if to say 'look mummy isn't this amazing?' - shows shared interest?

Dd is 2.6

1.) She's a little chatter box. I can have a fairly good convo with her. She's pretty much caught up to Ds who's almost 4.

2.) She would ignore me yes- especially if she was involved with something. Stubborn Mare.

3.)See stubborn mare comment. ^ If she's in a good mood I can usually coax her in.

4.) She could out scream a banshee. Both in volume and pitch.

5.) She will play on her own fine for 30-45 minutes, she will come to check on me by then. She's also quite happy to play with her brothers.

6.) Nope- she is perfectly happy if I leave the room. Sometimes she gets upset if someone leaves the house but that's because she likes to go out. She's not picky about who she is with.

DD3 likes to plays on her own, she is very independent and does not need me to play with her.

She does bring me things, not to show me but for me to carry for her. She is very affectionate and often hops on my knee for a cuddle on her terms. She will drag me around by my hand, to get the toys/food she wants

She might be very slow at talking, but she is a very lovable toddler, who has no problem communicating her needs !

Glad you've been referred for a hearing test - do chase via the GP if you haven't got an appt in a couple weeks. Glue ear and similar can be resolved fairly easily and make a huge difference.

1 - too many for me to count. I There doesnt appear to be anything she wants to say that she cant
2 - Rarely
3 - Easy
4 - Rarely (usually when running around with a friend letting off steam)
5 -Yes she would play alone but we takr her to bed as we like to do storytime
6 - she spends as much 1-2-1 time with dad as she does with me
7 -She can put on her own shoes and take them off, is potty trained in the day inc pulling down and pulling up her own trousers and knickers, can count to twenty (objects not just reciting), can recite the alphabet and numerous nursery rhymes, never stops bloody moving even when sitting still, has a great memory (will tell us about the time she saw a rainbow when on holiday a year ago eg),

I am not concerned about her hearing at all..she can hear the rustle of a crisp packet from the next room.

Plus I am unsure how they will test her hearing properly, when she often ignores sounds plus she only has 5 words !

She is currently dancing on her tip toes, spinning around the middle of the living room, trying to catch a balloon. She loves dancing :)

Being able to hear certain sounds doesn't mean she mightn't have problems with others, like speech sounds. Children's hearing tests are designed to catch their attention, so looking to see if they appear startled by sounds coming from different directions. Works most of the time even on babies.

My dd1 was similar, but unfortunately her delay in talking was put down to being bilingual. It wasn't until she was nearly four that her hearing was tested and she needed grommets. Her talking improved after that.

Try not to worry. It's good that they are referring her so early because the earlier these problems (if there are any problems) are picked up on, the easier it is to sort them out.

They can test a baby's hearing so don't worry too much about how they will test your two year old - they will have the experience to carry out the test.

I am going to enjoy the relative quiet while we have it....when DD3 catches up talking that will increase the noise volume by 25% !

1. Around 200?
2. Sometimes responds, sometimes doesn't, knows her name though.
3. Often has to be forced into pushchair and car seat. Stops screaming a minute or so after she is strapped in though.
4. Tantrums are big news at present. Throws herself on the floor screaming. Rarely lasts more than a couple of minutes. Bloody loud though.
5. Will play on her own quite well for up to 20 mins. Has taken herself to bed once or twice.

In the interest of balance DD 2.2 has been seeing comm pead for six months. No dx yet.

She says between 10-15 words
She will ignore me 90% of the time
She will go in car seat/buggy without question
Her screeching is extremely high pitched, with excitement not tantrums
She will play on her own for hours and will go to bed without tantrum (I understand the playing on her own isn't a great sign - is going to bed easily one also?)
She doesn't cry for either parent

Other info
She has a hearing test this week, referral was prompted by problems with walking and my concern that she was very different from her brothers from a very young age.

Thanks Cowpat...Hope the hearing test goes well this week.

DD is 22 months, DS is awaiting a multidisciplinary assessment for sensory issues and possible ASD but I'm fairly confident she is NT

1. I haven't counted but she's stringing 3-4 word sentences together (or often longer but misses words out) - her speech is not always clear but she makes herself known or will find another way to communicate (showing us/baby signs)

2. rarely unless she was a teasing or very engrossed in something

3. if she's happy about the idea it's very easy but if not she will arch her back, kick her legs and scream that she doesn't like it and wants to walk. It often helps to offer a diversion such as food or ask if she wants to climb in by herself

4. many times a day but if you wait a few seconds and ask her to use her words she usually will

5. probably but not if I wanted her to! If she wants my attention she'll make a huge song and dance about it and not leave me alone but she is quite capable and willing to amuse herself at times. she would never take herself up to bed, she needs a lot of encouragement to wind down and a routine and my presence to get her to sleep

6. yes unless she's walked around in the pushchair. I've not been able to leave her yet even with DH, she's very much all about mum at the moment but I suspect it's an age thing and the fact I'm a SAHP

7. the main difference between her and DS I'm noticing is that she learns from mistakes and can be 'trained' - for example I count to 3 if they're not doing something I've asked them to do/not do...DS totally ignores me and I have to physically do the thing myself or stop him, she jumps to it before I get to 2! I don't think she's particularly compliant (she's very headstrong) - I think she's just worked out that she'd rather have the chance to do the thing herself. She also seems to understand danger and tone of voice where DS doesn't. but as you have other DC you probably already know they differ in many ways for many reasons not just whether they're NT or not. I'm a strong believer that we know our own children so hopefully there's no cause for concern. I think it's good in a way that your HV is on the ball though, I know I've had my concerns brushed off many times..I'm not sure if that's worse or them thinking something is amiss when we don't ???