Eating better meals

[PseudoBadger]

DS is 3 and a half and I've slipped into an awful habit of giving him what I know he'll eat rather than expanding his range.
DD is 10 months and will eat anything, and my own diet these days is far better than it was when DS was a baby.
So I'm trying to cook more meals, rather than serve separates (sausages, fish fingers etc) with veg. The last 2 nights he's refused the dinner. I've told him that this is dinner, there's nothing else. Last night just before bed he said he was hungry so I gave him toast, tonight to be honest he was so tired I doubt he would've eaten even a 'normal' meal.
How long do I persevere? Will I starve him?!

At 3.5 if he's hungry, I'd just offer him the meal he left earlier. He will probably not be happy about if but if you stay firm he'll soon realise that he eats or goes hungry

I agree. Giving him the toast sent the message that of you refuse and say you are hungry later, you get something else. Don't give in and don't substitute. Give him his cold dinner from earlier but I wouldn't give him anything after bedtime routine has begun.

Oh and you won't starve him. He won't allow that. We went through 10 days of hell when our son was 3 which included a 26 hour hunger strike. Just stay strong.

Thanks JJJ (you are always so generous with your advice ) and odeyssey. I was aiming for something boring with the toast, but it's good to hear that he's old enough now to re-offer the dinner ad infinitum.
I'll update tonight, after tomato chicken...

*odyssey

Great advice jjj! :-)

Reading with interest as we've also slipped into terrible habits with our DD who's nearly three. She's been having way too many 'treats' & not eating proper meals. She's always been fussy since weaning & we've struggled for long time with food. Having searched mumsnet for advice I found jjj advice from a previous thread & as of today we are resolved to try & follow. So I'm with you OP, good luck to us both!!

Well tonight I made yummy meatloaf. Even DP ate it so I know it was nice. I told DS it was like burger and sausage mixed together, which is true...
He said it was yucky, put some ketchup on it and ate a small amount, asked for more ketchup and when I refused as he was just eating ketchup he said he was finished.
I'm pondering moving dinner earlier than 5pm, as he's usually heading towards knackered evilness by then.
Good luck seasalt!

Have you seen this website? I've found it really useful with wobbles over food. It's the one area I feel confident about now! I also have a 3.6 yo and he is extremely fussy (DD 22 months will eat almost anything and love it) - I don't think I pander to him but I also try to avoid making mealtimes into a battle ground. I usually make the same meal for everyone but for example tonight I made asparagus risotto which I knew he wouldn't touch so I did him some plain rice. I make a habit of occasionally putting something on his plate that I know he doesn't like and give him new stuff that he hasn't had before. I ask him to try it and praise him if he does but I don't make a big deal of it either way. I think there are going to be things that children just don't like and I respect that, but I also think it can become a game if you're not careful, just seeing how much they can push the boundaries

I also have started serving pudding (about 3-4 times a week) at the same time as dinner. mostly he will eat the pudding first but more often than not he'll go back and eat more of the dinner than if he'd been 'waiting' for pudding. I make a point of acknowledging when he's had enough but probably remind him daily that there will be nothing else after dinner (he went through a stage of saying he was still hungry after bedtime) and I don't give in

hopefully it's just a phase. In our case I think it's sensory issues as well (overactive taste/smell and dislike of certain textures) so will probably be something we have to learn to live with. hope you find a middle ground

Well done, meatloaf does sound yummy but not sure anyone except me would eat that in my house at least he likes ketchup-can't get dd to try it even. Good that he tried & didn't get too upset.
I did a roast chicken which is our typical Sunday dinner. DD only ever eats the Yorkshire puds (occasionally a bite of carrot) but instead of giving her 4/5 I limited it to 2 & encouraged her to try something else on the plate-which she didn't & then when I ignored this, meltdown occurred not sure it's the right approach....
Good idea to move dinner earlier, we're usually pushing 5.30 here & she's exhausted, I'm just not v organised!

Great post Nicecup thank you :)

How are things seasalt?

I had reasonable success with tomato chicken tonight, I chickened (ha!) out of serving with rice and went with pasta but hey ho, early days... He said 'yukky' as soon as he sat down and pointed at the onion bits, but he ate at least one bit of chicken, and plenty of pasta in the sauce.

That sounds good progress pseudo! Our DC are obviously opposites as my DD would only have eaten the rice, never pasta in tomato sauce! She does love pasta but has a meltdown if she sees a sauce! Great he ate some chicken too-I think they only need v small amount of meat.

Yesterday dd had her main meal at nursery. I've asked them to stop swapping her meals for bread & butter (which happens a lot!) so she had some rice & not the chilli or vegetables. At home for tea I gave her a chicken sandwich which led to another meltdown, but I calmly showed her how to pick out the chicken if she wanted to, so she then just had the bread & butter and left everything else on her plate i think she did go to bed hungry poor thing but I was firm! She did beg me for a biscuit too but didn't give in & reminded her that tea was still there if hungry.....

In relation to the sauce stuff I find that it often helps to separate the different things out and to put the sauce more on the side.