3 and a half year old table manners

[PseudoBadger]

DS has regressed since dd began weaning and now prefers to not attempt to use a fork, he's just shovelled dinner (chicken, veg and pasta) in with both hands. He makes more mess than the 10 month old!
He doesn't have a massive appetite, except for breakfast, and if I make too much of an issue then he will just refuse to eat. What do I do? Ignore for a while

I feel your pain (3.5yo dd and 8mo ds). I've been gently reminding to use cutlery, whilst doing things like saying how much hard work it is cleaning up the baby's mess and how glad I am that dd can eat so nicely now. When ds has been dropping stuff everywhere we've been saying 'look, ds, watch dd - dd, can you show him how to put it in your mouth properly so he can copy you?' This seems to have helped a bit. We also have baby-talk, pretending she can't walk, wanting to be dressed... Though woe betide me if I play along and call her 'my baby' - 'I'm not a baby, I'm a big girl!'. 3 year olds eh.

Oh good that all sounds familiar! Good luck to you...