Everything is a battle with my 4 year old

[Whatalife58]

My four year old is argumentative and contrary about almost everything it seems. It's totally exhausting. Typical scenerios: I give him his breakfast (weetabix) 'No I don't want all the weetabix covered in milk, no I don't want a big spoon I want a small one'. Going to the park ' I want my scooter' me It's at home you have to walk. 'No I want my scooter' At the park ' I don't like this playground can we go to the other one'. When I don't give in to him, which is most of the time he is rude and says 'You idiot you are a rubbish mum'. He does this in public places. I feel so upset about it and totally exhausted with all this arguing and enforcing some sort of discipline. What am I doing wrong? I do love my son and to be frank I do feel likde a rubbish mum (today).

The contrary behaviour is tiring and does get easier. Best way to deal with it for me was to ensure that there were limited options for dd to make fuss over. I have never had the rubbish mum comment:-(

Try giving him choices eg show him the cereals your happy for him to eat and let him choose. Let him put his own milk on and get his own spoon. Give him a choice of park. Before you leave ask if he wants to take something but warn him that he will have to carry/push it there and back.
Warn him that if he talks rude to you explain that there will a consequence eg you go straight home and there's no telly that day. Etc. follow through with your threat.
I think he wants to be independant and fighting you for it.

He's 4 and going through a tough time.

My 4 year old drives me mad. It is easier if I let him do stuff - he can choose his cereal, he can pour the milk. If he gets upset about the choice eg the wrong bowl I guide him through it e.g. telling him it tastes the same, suggesting he thinks about stuff first. Tell him how to behave works much better, although it is an effort, in the long run.

For example he was shouting at his sister to be quiet then caught himself and asked her yo be quiet nicely. He'd finally remembered my repeated reminders to ask nicely. He was pleased with himself as was I.

If my dds do what yoyr ds does with his cereal, I say 'don't have it then, I'll put it in the bin, and you won't have breakfast'. Always works with my two.

wrt calling you stupid, I'd leave the park asap, and go home to sit on the step, to have a good hard think.

Can you tell I don't give in to my two?