help !!!!!!

[tappy]

came on here to try to stay calm and ignore a 9 year having tantrum and wrecking things because not getting own way any tips on stayin calm

I only have a 3 year old, so it's not quite the same, but we try 1)naming what's going on, i.e. "I understand that you are mad/frustrated/angry/upset because..." 2)distraction 3) ignoring.

And a big glass of wine for mom helps a lot

thanksdid most of this but not the wine feel like i need that tonight.staying calm and ignoring are really difficult

What I try to do is remember when I was nine. Why would I have a tantrum? Usually cause I wanted something or wanted my parents attention? Something for you to investigate. Mine only young but have neices same age and their's is always attention deficit related (my mum doesn't understand me age as well so tread carefully hormones may be coming!!!!

When ignoring a 9 year old you can more safely just leave the room than with a 3 year old. You might try "I'll just let you get this out of your system, dear" (do 9 year olds get sarcasm?)

Then head to the garden/bathroom/etc. with big glass of wine!

and make them clean up any mess they make or make good any damage they cause by having their tantrum(i have 8.5 yr old who throws these now and then!),9 is old enough to understand that actions have consequences.

Yep, that's the ticket.