teenage body piercing

[tanya1010]

My 14 year old son has told me he wants to have his nose, belly button and tongue pierced.
I have told him no, he is too young, and it can be dangerous.
Also i said they are more girly piercings.
He says i am being unreasonable and unfair as i have got mine pieced.i let him have his ears pierced last year.and he now wears 2 rings in each of his ears. This has caused me many problems at his school. I know he needs parents consent to have piercings done, but i am concerned he will find somewhere that will do it for him or even worse try and pierce his nose himself. Any suggestions and advice please ?

When I was younger when I got an idea in my head about a particular piercing I would go to any lengths to get it. That's why my mum let me get piercings quite young as she at least knew I wouldn't do them myself ,or go somewhere dodgy.
That being said ,I did listen to my mum so if she'd have said no then I may have forgotten the idea as the moaning that would've followed wouldn't have been worth it. My dad ,however ,I just ignored so when he said no to a lose piercing I still went and had it done. If you're determined in the saying no then you need to make it known what will happen if he does ,stick to it ,and keep an eye out. Nose will be easy to spot ,belly button not so much. Tongue ,just watch out for lisp ,funny talking the first week and sticking to liquid foods. Otherwise after he's gone past that stage he can easily put a clear bar in and very easy to hide.

I'd relax a bit on this one. Piercings are temporary, scarring is minimal. It's not like he is getting his face tattooed!

Fwiw at one point as a teen I had about 25 piercings all in. These days I have a couple in my ears and that is it. I have a great job/family etc. So maybe view it as a rite of passage rather than a lifelong commitment.

That said at 14 any reputable piercing parlour won't pierce him. I think you need to be 16 for a belly button (which can look really cool on guys by the way) and 18 for the rest unless you go in with him and sign it off. (Which is not very cool eh?)

I'd tell him he can do what he wants when he's old enough to get it done and can pay for it himself.

I wouldn't recommend tongue piercing though as it does destroy your teeth or gums.

If he tries to pierce his nose himself then more fool him as I think you'd be really reasonable by saying " yes you can do what you want when it's all above board".

The only 'girly piercing' would be female genitals... Everything else is unisex so not sure what you were thinking there.

I have told him he is still growing up and may well change his mind before he is 18. If he still wants them done then it is his own choice, i will pay for him to have them all done then, and i will even go with him to get them done if he wants me to !
I have had so much trouble with his school because of his earrings, that with a nose and tongue piercing it would be even worse ! Admittedly he could hide a navel piercing but as i explained to him he could have problems with other boys at sports and gym classes where it would obviously be seen.
While i admit navel piercings do look cool on guys , it is usually a female piercing.
To be honest i feel guilty as i think he is just copying me.
I also have my nose, tongue and belly button pierced.
I told him as it can be a difficult healing process, as i had to get my navel done 3 times before it healed properly and settled down.
All he keeps saying is he likes it and wants his done too.
I have warned him it is illegal at his age, and i just hope he listens and takes notice of me.

It isn't illegal. He can get pierced without your consent.

Oh no, i didnt realise that. Thought it had to be parental consent at his age

It's a self regulating body. Theoretically the parlour could lose their license for piercing a minor without consent. Which is why they have to sign consent forms etc

There is no legal age of consent for body piercing (why do you think you see baby's with their ears pierced?) as long as the person has consented to it. Children under the age of 16 can't legally consent to a genital (inc nipple) piercing, as it's considered to be indecent assault.

However a reputable tattooist/piercer (usually both) will have consent forms have their own restrictions i.e no under 16's - 16's to have their parents consent.

If he is adamant on having them done and has somehow managed to get the money for him make sure he researches where he goes, ask around for recommendations and always make sure that he watches the piercer clean the equitment he's about to use - for your own peace of mind.

DH has his belly button done and I don't think it's 'girly'. I have my tongue done, no lisp and no dental problems - but requires a little more aftercare than ears. I think nose piercings are easier to hide with the correct earring.

I do suggest he waits until he's at least 16 so he has more of choice on which palor he goes to it as like I said most have resctrictions.

The piercings your son wants are not girly. My husband has those pierced and he gets lots of compliments. Its important to wear the appropriate jewellery such as a small plain stud in the nose which attracts a lot less attention than a ring in the nostril at school. As for tongue and belly button they can be discrete if you choose them to be and won't cause problems.
I would say Tanya that you let your son get pierced at a reputable piercers as legally there is no minimum age for most piercings although most but not all piercers would want your consent.
Now is also a very good time to get it done as the school holidays are coming up and certainly the tongue and nose will have healed by the time school re-starts and he could wear a clear retainer. As for the navel the redness should have gone although it will still be healing.
I would speak to your son and raise your concerns and see how he will address your concerns such as not showing off the piercings deliberately to get attention from school mates.
I think your bond with your son will strengthen provided you manage it.
As I said my husband has his nose pierced and he gets lots of compliments from girls and even his navel piercing which I love he wears a gold diamond in it.