Toddler miserable and as unenthusiastic as a squashed hedgehog when we go out

[bellini1]

My ds is 2 years 8 months and for the past 6 months ( at least ) whenever we go out anywhere nice ( zoo, local country house with adventure playground, farm etc) he will do 1 or all of the following :
Cry and asked to be carried
Sit on the ground and flick stones and sticks
Not want to play with other children
Not want to try ANYTHING
Wander off and hide

It's so bloody frustrating as we are going out for his benefit and he just wanders around like we are punishing him with a big pout . dH gets particularly pissed off as he will see other children all running and around and having a good time and we have this miserable little boy . He's a happy confident and bright boy usually and at nursery they think the sun shines out of his arse. We had another baby 9 months ago ( a girl whom he loves) and perhaps the daft behaviour is an attention thing . He doesn't act like this at home or at nursery or at other peoples houses .

It's getting to the stage when we don't want to take him out anywhere as it's so depressing . What should we do?

Just give up on that kind of trip for a while - he's not enjoying it, you're not enjoying it, what's the point? Maybe just do local and cheap outings for a few months - local woods, playgrounds, parks - you don't have to go anywhere fancy to enjoy being together as a family. Toddlers change so much, you might find he loves more exciting outings again in a few months.

How do you react or try to react to him in this situation?

I usually just encourage him lots and try to lure him onto things . Dh gets stroppy and lectures ds .

Think he's feeling insecure so perhaps local trips are better. . Dh has a tendency to think that this will be what it's like forever . Think he was kind of hoping for a jonny wilkinson / bear grylls son and is forgetting he's a toddler

Aw. Maybe he needs time on his own with each of you, but just to do cosy things where he can be physically close? I was thinking about what might be particularly difficult about being out and about - maybe it's overwhelming? combined with feeling slightly insecure (the age - not being a baby, not being a big kid, and the new sibling)? I only have one DC myself but I've heard it discussed that a new baby can make a toddler sibling seem like a grown up - when really they are still so tiny and need a lot of reassurance.

at a toddler Bear Grylls

I have a DD now aged 9 who has NEVER enjoyed these type of days out. She hated the park...still does, would suffer the farm park but not be cheerful or run about. She still prefers to be at home, drawing and reading. What she does enjoy is if I take her to galleries or museums...especially if there are child focused crafts to take part in.

My 6 yo is exactly like this. If there's a nice cafe involved somewhere (usually near the start of the trip!) then she's reasonably happy. Or if we go with friends, that's okay too. I used to (and still do if I'm honest ) get a little cross from time to time, but we just ignore, and we don't not go places either as we have another DC who does like to go places. The one place we don't bother with are farms: the 6 yo really, really dislikes them. I am not a fan either so it's pointless. These days, if she wants to learn about animals she will ask if we can go on the Internet!