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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Greed when faced with sweet things

22 replies

hillyhilly · 09/05/2014 18:03

My children have absolutely no self control/ stop button when it comes to sweet stuff.
Last weekend it was treats being dished out on a walk with other families , chocolate, cheese strings babybels, nuts, cereal bars, etc etc you can guarantee that if one person got a snack out, my two were first in the line with their hands out, today it was a bun sale at school - they get plenty -3/4 cakes and a drink but still spent the whole time loitering around the cakes and begging for more. I don't see other kids behaving in this way and it is driving me mental!
We do allow treats at home but I try to ensure they don't have too many but as they get older, (6&9 currently)my supervision and influence becomes less and less. The elder who tends towards being overweight, regularly asks for money for sales at school and every time I am having to remind her that she mustn't spend it all on cakes and sweets.
Any help or advice please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hotbot · 09/05/2014 18:31

Any chance you could give them whatever they asked for for a day? Don't tell them you are doing to his , I imagine by tea time they will be feeling pretty green and sick? Do you think that would work ,them you reinforce the idea that too much of a good thing makes you feel like that?

MrsWinnibago · 10/05/2014 18:09

Did you buy them 3-4 cakes each? One cake is enough at a cake sale...maybe that's where you're going wrong?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/05/2014 22:16

Are they getting enough of there other food? Could they be first in line because they are actually hungry? Second the suggestion of not commenting and letting them eat what they want

FiveHoursSleep · 10/05/2014 22:22

Let them eat cake. The bigger deal you make about it, the more attractive these sweet things will become and sooner or later they WILL spend all their money on sweets.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 10/05/2014 22:23

Agree re hunger - are they getting enough protein?

Three to four cakes at a cake sale seems quite a lot to me - but maybe they were small How are sweet things dealt with in your house? My DC are only 17 months and 17 weeks but I'm trying quite hard with DS not to make sweet things a "treat" or a reward. But also not to ban as I don't want him to gorge on chocolate for example as he thinks he won't get more at home.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/05/2014 11:15

hiloy have you had time to think this through?

Original poster

hillyhilly · 11/05/2014 16:48

With it being after school they are inevitably quite hungry although they both get a good packed lunch.
You all make a very good point about why should it be 3-4 cakes, I honestly don't know how I ended up there.i think it's probably because they are there to the bitter end but thinking about it, all the kids get one cake and one drink.
I think next time they'll get told one ( we are trying to instigate a "one of anything is enough" policy generally ) and bring along some fruit for the inevitable cries of being hungry.

OP posts:

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 11/05/2014 17:08

Good idea re bringing alternative snacks

I think I'd err to the side of some oat cakes and hummus. Maybe some bits of cheese and ham as more filling. A drink of milk

Are they bored at all, do you think? The loitering around the stalls made me wonder - were they not off playing with pals?

Sorry - millions of questions!

Original poster

hillyhilly · 12/05/2014 11:32

Older one was bored as all kids a lot younger than her for a long time (older ones arrived later). Younger one ( the worst for sweet stuff) lots of friends to play with,he'd play a lot but make regular return visits to scavenge.
Thanks all, I have another strategy for next time -
Book for the older , snacks for both and one drink and one cake each

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/05/2014 11:37

Sounds like a good plan and if they still say they are bored, tell them you'll find them a job litter picking or they can find something to do themselves

MrsWinnibago · 12/05/2014 11:52

Definitely don't stay to the bitter end either...we go in, choose a cake and leave....they eat the cake on the way home. There's nothing to hang about FOR at a cake sale is there? Unless you're helping of course...in which case, don't! [grin

JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/05/2014 12:00

Gree with Winni. If it is just a cake sale buy the cake and leave. If its a spring fair type thing give them enough for one drink and one cake each and tell them its upto them what they spend it on but have a good look around first

gastrognome · 12/05/2014 12:39

My younger one (age 3) is a lot like this.

Older daughter (nearly 6) is good at self regulating, so I have never felt I need to be too restrictive over sweet things - even if she overindulges one day, the following days she won't want any sweet stuff so it all evens out.

Younger daughter doesn't seem to have an off switch - she's on scavenger mode all day, every day, and has a special radar for any sweet stuff that might be within her grasp. She can even see through furniture and thermo-locate any sweeties that might have rolled underneath. Her skills also extend to pockets and handbags.

The only alternative would be to rid the house of all sweet stuff, but that would make the "forbidden fruit" thing even worse, I suspect.

Watching with interest to see if anybody has any miracle solutions.

MrsWinnibago · 12/05/2014 18:30

Both of my DDs are like that gastro and the miracle solution is the word "No"

That's it!

Original poster

hillyhilly · 12/05/2014 21:39

They have to stay to the end of the sale - I run it.

OP posts:

MrsWinnibago · 15/05/2014 21:51

What...all of them? Every time? Don't do it if it means they behave like that then. I've run stalls now and then and mine get a set amount of money and that's that.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/05/2014 22:14

Agree. Give them set money or don't do the sale.

Original poster

hillyhilly · 20/05/2014 10:07

I did tell ds last time that if he behaved like that again I won't do any more and he will have to explain why. They are once a month (maybe 6 per year in total) and are a lovely event that builds community and raises lots of funds. I would be very loathe to stop them because I can't get my children to control themselves (plus that won't actually get rid of the problem will it?).

OP posts:

MrsWinnibago · 20/05/2014 10:11

No it won't you're right. I think you should definitely tell them that it's one cake and one drink...after that they can help you on the stall or go and play. And don't budge. 3-4 cakes is far too many.

Davsmum · 20/05/2014 15:59

Children often do not have self control or a stop button - That is why they have parents.
My sisters children are like this and although my sister says they don't have too many treats at home - the truth is they DO. They have access to the 'treats' cupboard - and they tend to ask for stuff when they are bored.
I think it becomes a habit to say 'I am hungry' and it becomes a habit to eat instead of finding something else to do.

There is nothing wrong in providing healthy snacks for children to take to school - they don't have to be given money.

spots · 20/05/2014 16:05

My only strategy in the face of this from my 4 year old DD is to make it clear beforehand exactly what she will be allowed. eg - at a cake sale, emphasise repeatedly before getting there that it will be one cake, one drink (or whatever) - or sometimes, just to show that it is possible, I risk meltdown in the shop by saying it will be a 'no treats' shop (but that next time she can choose a juice or something). I hope that by saying the words, she will have the reasonable quantity in her own mind as a guide and will some day manage to use it herself. We'll see if it works...

bluewisteria · 25/05/2014 18:31

Are they thirsty? I find that if mine are thirsty or haven't drunk quite enough throughout the day, then they want sugar.... Also, if they drink a lot of juice it makes the situation worse - sugar, crash, need more sugar etc.
Can you find alternatives to juice? Milk, water etc

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