DD and her meltdowns

[notamonkeysuncle]

DD is 3 and cries/squeals if shes told no. We've never given into everything so don't know where this coming from but is getting progressively worse. Along with the constant whinging and need to repeat everything over and over, its becoming a huge challenge day to day.
Shes currently having a meltdown on the kitchen floor because I wont let her have chocolate, I have just left her to it.
Any suggestions?

Who is repeating everything "over and over"? You or her? If it is you then just stop. Once is enough.

Rtaher than meeting her head to head with a downright no- then tell her that she can have some after lunch/when you get back from nursery - whenever, and you will keep it safe till then. Be firm and cheerful. She is possibly hungry and needs breakfast.

She eats good balanced meals so I know shes not hungry, shes seen chocolate so wants it.
Shes started the day with 2 weetabix and a banana and will have a snack shortly.
Its things like if she wants to go out and we're not ready she will stand and scream because she wants to go that second or climbing, when we say no she cries.
I know its all part of her growing up but wanted to try and stop it a bit.
We have tried explaining why she cant do something as she has good language and understands well

She will stop when she sees it has no affect.

Don't give in if you say no, and above all else relax. Don't get wound up yoursel as that too feeds the situation.

My ds has just turned 3 and is very similar, we are having meltdowns over me saying no.

When he starts I get down to his level and say, are you feeling sad because mummy said no you can't watch telly/have chocolate etc

I then explain why he can't and ask if he would like a hug.

This normally snaps him out of it and I get a teary snotty hug and normal service resumes. If it doesn't I just leave him to it and try again in 5 minutes

It's really tough and I don't want to start giving into him for an easy life

Why not try the "Yes I'd like some chocolate too, but its bad for us to eat too much and we've just had breakfast." As you put the chocolate out of sight, maybe in the fridge.
Then move on to something else.

I could have written this!!
My DD had two weetabix and pineapple this morning but saw yogurts and was whining and whingeing for them. This is getting way to frequent.
She's also repeating herself over and over, "we can bring my scooter to the shop", I'll tell her yes you can but she'll ask fifteen million times afterwards, much much worse if it's something I've said no to!

I was just about to come and start this thread myself!

I get soooooo frustrated. How do you stop the red mist descending and ending up furious yourself??

"How do you stop the red mist descending and ending up furious yourself??"

That is the absolute key, and one of our challenges as parents. If you can accomplish that parenting becomes ten times easier.

To stop red mist: give yourself time,
If you feel it decend - go away or to the loo, to recover.
Remember they will not be doing this when they are 18!
It is not done on purpose to annoy you.

If they keep asking try asking "what did I say?" See if they remember.

Sometimes just stop listening - my middle one certainly used to talk just to think - irritating but I didn't need to answer.

Avoid going head to head with a negative challenging 'no' all the time. Instead put a positive spin on things. Empathise and tell her when she can do what she wants to do. For example 'yes we can go out after breakfast. Quick lets eat the banana porridge first, then we can put our shoes on' or 'I know you really want honey on your porridge, its so yummy isn't it! Have a look in the honey jar, can you see it's empty now. Shall we buy some more from the supermarket tonight?'