I sympathise with you.
I know all too well what you're going through.
Only i have an 8 year old and a 5 year old who wet their beds.
I took my 8yr old to the enuretic clinic at our local hospital and he was given a bedwetting alarm.
He never woke to it once!!!
Woke me up every night.
It even used to go off if he started to sweat, so they told me to put a towel on top of it.
In the end i just disconnected it, i was so tired.
I was told to wake him fully before taking him to the toilet.
When i tried to do this, he'd just lash out as he was so tired and wanted his sleep.
I have a mattress protector on the bed, then the sheet, then i bought some incontinent mats (that you can wash), from a specialist shop, as care mats were costing too much, and also wears a dri-nite pyjama pant (like a nappy).
As i have two children going through this it costs an absolute fortune.
It's not considered a medical problem until the child is 7.
My 8yr old also had the alarm that clips onto your pyjamas and then you have another part that you have to put between 2 pairs of pants.
Every time he moved the flipping thing came out.