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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Is it ok to use 'fanny' to describe girls bits to my toddler?

269 replies

Vindaloo · 22/08/2006 21:11

My DD is 2 and a half months and I was chatting to a friend about what words to use to describe boys and girls bits??

A friend uses 'nunu' for girls. For some bizaare reason I have started to say 'bits and pieces'!! thats sooo wrong, any suggestions or do you just say fanny??

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NotQuiteCockney · 27/08/2006 00:46

Willy is totally safe, I think. It's what we use, too, although DS1 knows the word "penis", too.

spots · 27/08/2006 06:14

We shortened 'fanny' to 'fan'... I was brought up with 'fanny' but feel it's a bit playground. Tho also feel that it's the frankest, and 'vulva', though worthy, is just not in accordance with general tone of discussions about body parts between children.

treacletart · 27/08/2006 09:41

I never had a name for mine as a child - think the whole area was just my "private bits". My brothers have "Whistles"(!!!) MY DH had a "Tassle". My DS has a willy and we dont yet have a use for a female equivalent but I'm leaning toward the Mumsnet "Fanjo" - not too cutesy not too anatomical.

Glassofwine · 27/08/2006 10:10

This has got me thinking, my DD's have 'fannies' and DS a willy. We've tried not to make the children feel that there is anything 'wrong' or shamfull about these parts of their bodies. However it does get a bit tricky now that they are a little older ie. 7,4 &3 ie. DD's have on more than one occassion called out in public 'I hurt my fanny on the seesaw/tree branch etc'. I feel embarassed - perhaps I shouldn't, but for all that they shouldn't feel ashamed, they also need to know whats appropriate to say in public. I'm not sure I've got this right. Perhaps if they refered to their genitals as 'bits' then it wouldn't sound so bad.

Spirited · 06/09/2006 23:23

I don't think I was aware of an ok name to use for a woman's vulva. (Maybe we just didn't refer to it? )

My daughters will have a vulva (I've never had bad associations with it, though I was under the false impression that the whole area was the vagina as well as the specific opening) and my sons will have a penis.

I am painfully aware of the power of bad body image and I want my kids to know that I'm not going to be embaressed of or for them if they use those terms in public. But then I've never been comfortable with cutsey or crass names anyway. An itchy vulva or trapped penis is just as valid an injury as an itchy hand or trapped finger. It's nothing to fall over ourselves about.

As for 'fitting in' if my children don't have the self confidence to refer to their body parts in whatever manner they please when the subject comes up then I don't think their biggest problem in life is knowing the 'correct' idioms to use.

Our personal hang-ups about sex (which our children are the blessed result of) shouldn't stop us from educating and empowering the little people we are raising.

I don't find 'no willy' observation by a three year old offensive but I would be distraught if that was what he had been taught to call it. But I do find any names which suggest that a vulva is a dirty or degrading thing to have offensive.

Since many adults think of the vulva as a vagina, would teaching kids the proper word for it really help in the sad 'lily' case?

CJinSussex · 07/09/2006 00:29

I'm converting to fanjo. It is most excellent. Thanks for that MI.

Previously we've been a fanny and willy household. But I'm upgrading. Fanny is OK with posh friends but it has scandalised others!

CJinSussex · 07/09/2006 00:33

It's a good job children are so physically demonstrative or they'd have a heck of a time with all these other bizarre names for fanjo, explaining to teachers why the result of their 'trying to sit on a chair upside down' experiment was not a happy one.

ameli · 07/09/2006 12:07

spirited, i think you are taking this too seriously, we don't all have issues with sex, you are going off the topic. I think the msnr just wanted a bit of advice ...not a deep and meaningful.

toofatmum · 07/09/2006 13:00

My DD 5yrs call it he Shusshi and if she has a problem it's either inside or outside shusshi. Everyone in the family uses this term with her with no embarrasment.

CJinSussex · 07/09/2006 13:29

I didn't realise before but fanjo is a fairly profane Irish slang word. Be warned!

Fairie · 07/09/2006 20:34

I have a 5yr old boy and we use the term 'winky' for males and 'foofoo' for females. I havent had that much hassle until recently, now hes at school he likes to point out animals parts, and the like. Im not against either method of 'nicknames' or 'proper' names, it was just before i had the chance to think about it, little one had asked the difference, and thinking on my toes, i tried to give him an informed yet suitable response. Before id even finished the conversation the names had stuck. Obviously i wasnt prepared for the question
(please excuse my lack of shorthand, this is my first post and i havent quite got the hang of the slang yet)

LovelyKay · 07/09/2006 20:57

Am very new to the forums so hope not to offend but this has been a question I've asked a few people recently and am surprised at how many are really shocked that any word is needed at all!

I really don't like 'front bottom' but since it's so popular my suggestion is that anyone who wants to use it for a girl must use something similarly evasive for a boy - so far DH and I have come up with 'trunky bottom'. Do you think it will catch on?

In the meantime it'll be fanny for us too - can't see it's any ruder than willy?

(And just in case anyone here thinks nothing specific is needed, my friend's three year old girl was insisting that she had a willy too, just like her brother. Friend laughed and said 'no you don't' and 3yo just said 'yes I do, here' and pointed to her clitoris. Got to admit that would have flummoxed me too.)

Georgiesmum · 08/09/2006 10:35

I call it a minnie, dont know why just always have. Seems less offensive as well (Dd is 18 m)

jabberwocky · 08/09/2006 10:43

penis for boys
vulva for girls.

When ds asked me why I didn't have a penis, I just said that girls/mommys don't have a penis they have a vulva instead. Simple, end of discussion.

moyasmum · 08/09/2006 11:39

dd2 called her a lulu. I think she made it up as it started at such a young age. In spite of me calling it a vagina("jina" sorry i know its a vulva but other one seems sp friendly and less car like),lulu stuck and now the kids at school use it too.

Pollux · 08/09/2006 14:18

Ds is 16 months and it's his winky and plums.

DD 5 months and it's her front bits.

Not too keen on fanny myself, where I live it's more of a swear word.

pictures 14 year olds drinking Buckfest shouting "what are you looking at, ya fanny!"

Pollux · 08/09/2006 14:19

why oh why can't I format correctly!!!

izzybiz · 08/09/2006 14:34

When i was little it was a minnie.

My son had a willy, (hes 13 now so not a willy anymore!)

My daughter is 2, hers is called a foo.

There is nothing wrong with having names for them, i had a name for mine, and still new the proper names for things too, i havent grown up with some sort of complex about things either.

While they are babies let them talk like babies!

izzybiz · 08/09/2006 14:35

knew

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