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Original poster

Is nude rude?!

54 replies

Levanna · 16/03/2004 23:10

Is rude nude?
I'd be interested in others opinions on this......
My DD is 23 months, and I have no problem whatsoever in her running around our home with a bare bum. A friend (yes, the same one who's DD kicked mine in the face, and who has extremely different views to mine on parenting as a whole anyway!) calls to our home quite often, and always sees fit to comment to my DD that she's 'rudey'. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again (it wears thin!). Last time she called, she went on for quite a time about it, so I said "actually, we don't think it's rude at all, we're all the same down there, I've got one, you've got one...." but she obviously didn't listen, and went on to put my DD's knickers on when I went to make a cuppa! I didn't make a big deal over it, as the whole point for me is to help DD feel as comfortable with herself and her body as she can.
What do you think? Should littleys be made to feel uncomfortable about themselves at such a young age, or am I just weird in thinking this would be wrong?!

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coppertop · 16/03/2004 23:16

I think your friend has got a bit of a cheek (no pun intended). Why shouldn't your dd be nude in her own home??? I think your friend might have a bit of a hang-up over nudity.

stupidgirl · 16/03/2004 23:16

My dd spent all of last summer with no clothes on, and still takes every opportunity to strip off.

I do think there are situations where it's not appropriate (obviously) but I certainly don't see the problem in your own home. I don't think it's right to make children think it's 'rude' or be ashamed of their bodies. Let them get on with being children while they can.

saintshar · 16/03/2004 23:18

Rude is not rude. Certainly not at this age. I do the same myself with DS (nearly 2.)
Your friend obviously has a 'thing' about it, maybe it is the way we are brought up. If so, you wouldn't want her to end up like your friend when she grows up, so all the more reason to leave her bare-bottomed!!
I would just cover her up when she comes around to save tension, but do as you wish the rest of the time.

saintshar · 16/03/2004 23:18

That should be 'nude is not rude'!!!!!

CountessDracula · 16/03/2004 23:19

FFS! Tell her to mind her own business. Of course it's not rude! She sounds like an idiotic prude to me.

lou33 · 16/03/2004 23:20

Don't think it's wrong at all at that age. DS2 is 3, and loves being naked,he goes up and down the hall squealing with delight, shouting "I'm naked!". DS1 aged 5 runs around as often as he can in the nuddy, and thinks it's hilarious that his bum is on display, though he wouldn't feel comfortable being naked around anyone other than family, but that isn't us instilling it in him, rather his own self awareness kicking in.

DD1 aged almost 12 will occasionally wander around like it if she is looking for various clothes, but at her age we try and encourage her to cover up a bit more. Dd2 aged 7 will cavort from time to time as well. Neither of them would allow themselves to be seen naked by others though.

I guess the easiest solution is to know it's ok, but for the sake of peace just slip a pair of knickers on dd if you know your friend is coming. Struggling to think as to why she would be offended at that age though.

mrsforgetful · 17/03/2004 01:48

levana...she sounds just like my mum!! My boys are forever in the nude...they usually can't find any clean clothes cos i'm useless!!!!

MY ONLY CONCERN with this is that we live on a fairly busy street- and passers by look in as they walk past...but apart from that i don't care.

As a child i grew up very shy of naked bodiess...and never saw my parents in the nude (thank god ! ). when ds1 was born i actually worried about 'when' to stop letting him see me naked....and he's 10 now and only just starting to feel selfconciuss and tells me to cover up!!! (mid you i think he's got a point! )DS3 nearly 5 frequently strips off as soon as he comes home from school!

hope that helps

FairyMum · 17/03/2004 07:10

No, I think your friend is the rude one. Mine runs around naked too and it's ideal when you are napy-training!

Furball · 17/03/2004 07:39

So what - it's your house. I'd tell her to bog off. If she is not that close a friend and you're not fussed about your relationship, why don't you really put a spanner in the works by saying you're a naturist family and that you've only put clothes on as you know how she feels about your DD!!!

twiglett · 17/03/2004 07:45

message withdrawn

motherinferior · 17/03/2004 08:28

She's totally out of order. Definitely the weird one, and I shudder to think what attitudes she's instilling in HER DD.

I still remember a party I had many years ago when a delightful three-year-old arrived, promptly took ALL her clothes off and shouted "everybody get naked!" Nobody joined in, but it was such a hot evening we all wished we could

fisil · 17/03/2004 08:39

Oh dear. Yes, your friend is the one with the problem. Why not strip off yourself next time she's expected?

Evita · 17/03/2004 08:44

Blimey, if you can't go nude at that age, when can you?! I actually LOVE the fact that little kids don't have any shame about having their kit off. My mom was a real prude about it when we were growing up and it's left me very shy about my own body for my whole life. My dd runs around starkers quite regularly and she, and we, find it adorable.

melsy · 17/03/2004 08:48

I must say I think they look very cute nude. I love there little bottys !!! My dd just looks so cute and small with nothing on.I think though that if I went to a friends house and they had there toddler nude, I might feel uncomfortable. I dont now why, so I dont think it is weird that she may feel like that.May be thats why she is reacting like that. You dont know how she was made to feel as a child in her own home or as an adult with a partner. My parents were very liberal in my house bathroom doors were open, we would walk in and out of paremts having a bath and visa versa,so that doesnt explain my discomfort. It was as I got older I didnt feel it was appropriate to be as OPEN.

misdee · 17/03/2004 08:50

nude is not rude. but lately we have been telling dd1 to put her bum away when we have visitors but she thinks its funny (she has no waist and all trousers fall down on her giving her a builders bum). shes runs around saying 'i'm naked i'm naked'.

Hulababy · 17/03/2004 09:00

My 23mo DD runs about the house wth no pants on regularly and likes the freedom to do so.

Have to say though she does think it is really funny to take her clothes off and run around shouting "rudie nudie". It has always just been a phrase I remember from being me being little and certainly doesn't mean that we are prudish or don't agree with her (or whoever) being naked - anything but, honest Believe DD is more than comfortable with her naked body!!!

Levanna - I think your freind is a bit (a lot)off though, it isn't up to her what you do in your own home, and there is no way she should be dressing your child and making her (and you) feel uncomfortable. Seems like it is her who has the problem to me.

spacemonkey · 17/03/2004 09:23

Your friend is a fool!

My ds is 10 and HE still runs around the house naked. Nothing wrong with it. I suppose this friend thinks breastfeeding is rude as well does she?!

WideWebWitch · 17/03/2004 11:56

Agree with everyone else - what is she on?

nutcracker · 17/03/2004 12:00

My dd is always stripping off, i don't know why i bother nto dres her some mornings

I do generally make her keep her knickers on though as our front window goes down to the floor. If that weren't a problem though she could run around naked all day for all i care

oliveoil · 17/03/2004 12:06

When I didn't have children and all my friends did, I used to LOVE seeing their little bums and pot bellies running around, what is cuter than a naked toddler? Not a lot IMO.

And I don't think you should put knickers on your dd to 'protect' your friends feelings when she comes round either, its your house ffs! Tell her to bog off

Hulababy · 17/03/2004 12:11

You could always tell her your DD is suffering with a bit of soreness or whatever and needs the fresh air.

katierocket · 17/03/2004 12:14

levanna, your 'friend' sounds like a pain. I'd be straight with her and tell her you'd rather she didn't go on like that when she comes round as you are perfectly happy for DD to be nude in your own house(and rightly so).
some people are so odd.

prettycandles · 17/03/2004 15:13

I agree with just about everyone except your tightlaced friend! But I'd say put knickers on your dd when that friend comes to visit, not to protect the friend's feelings, but to prevent her having any reason to upset your dd's feelings.

Of course it's ok for toddlers to go naked! Frankly, I think it's ok for anyone to go naked in their own home - we do, frequently - and if someone else can't hack it, then it's up to them to choose not to visit, or up to you to decide whether and what to put on when they visit.

marthamoo · 17/03/2004 15:30

I wonder what she'd make of my kids then. My two do the Willy Dance every night before their bath - cavorting naked round the house jiggling their willies about

lou33 · 17/03/2004 15:31

Mine too, they keep stretching them. And ds1 has a fondness for bending over and spreading his cheeks for ds2 to have a good look.