Please tell me it gets easier?

anotherbitofcake · 2014-03-27T16:29:13+00:00

LO is 10.5 weeks. He's hard work and a high maintenance baby. He's on the go all the time cries a lot doesn't feed happily and is very needy. On the plus when he's happy he's fab and he does settle to some sleep (sometimes although he does now wake at 5) I'm not enjoying it much. I'm knackered and on edge for his next crying onslaught. Please tell me it gets better [hmm] am feeling tearful a lot at the mo and would like a day off!!

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Bumpsadaisie · 27/03/2014 16:46

Bless you. About 2 mths in with both of mine I felt pretty miserable. The adrenaline and novelty wears off and its just a slog.

Don't worry. Hang in there fore a bit longer, as your LO gets older he will get easier and more fun to be with.

It IS hard. Don't worry about finding it hard, everyone does. Just try and plod through the day, get out and about as much as you can, try and see friends or NCT mums and just accept that this is a tough time of your life that won't go on forever.

Good luck

Original poster

anotherbitofcake · 27/03/2014 17:01

I think it would be good for me to list all the great things about this stage...
Here's a couple to start
Still cuddly
Not mobile

OP posts:

Nevercan · 27/03/2014 17:11

Do you have any support locally? Try going to a local baby group or asking a relative to take baby out in the pram for an hour while you snooze, tidy or just stare at the wall in peace for a while

minipie · 27/03/2014 17:40

How much sleep does he get in total during 24 hours?

You say he doesn't feed happily - is he BF or FF and if BF does he seem to have difficulty latching?

Does he seem distressed during/after feeds?

I'm asking these questions to see if there is any underlying reason he is hard work like overtiredness, tongue tie or reflux. Some babies just are harder work (they will grow out of it though) but sometimes there is a reason which can be fixed or helped and can make a massive difference.

Poshers · 27/03/2014 21:22

I feel every ounce of your tiredness! My DS is high maintenance & needy. No reason .... Just is. He's 4 months. But it is easier than it was - I thought I couldn't face the day at some very low points. My best advice (and this was from a good friend/ex nanny) is to just accept it. Apparently it doesn't last forever (I hope!!!) my DS is just plain hardwork. Keep busy, plenty of walks, fresh air, coffees in cafes etc ... I used I dread going out in fear of a crying meltdown, I now don't give two shits!! I just sing through it.

I have horrendous back ache from carrying him, I look like Barbara Cartland's dug up body most days but through exhaustion, but I just keep thinking this is not forever ... .... And keep on these sites for support .... HANG IN THERE xx

Poshers · 27/03/2014 21:22

I feel every ounce of your tiredness! My DS is high maintenance & needy. No reason .... Just is. He's 4 months. But it is easier than it was - I thought I couldn't face the day at some very low points. My best advice (and this was from a good friend/ex nanny) is to just accept it. Apparently it doesn't last forever (I hope!!!) my DS is just plain hardwork. Keep busy, plenty of walks, fresh air, coffees in cafes etc ... I used I dread going out in fear of a crying meltdown, I now don't give two shits!! I just sing through it.

I have horrendous back ache from carrying him, I look like Barbara Cartland's dug up body most days but through exhaustion, but I just keep thinking this is not forever ... .... And keep on these sites for support .... HANG IN THERE xx

Pocket1 · 27/03/2014 21:38

Poor you. I feel your pain.

And yes it does get easier - dd is almost 9 months and we finally sort of understand eachother. Ish. It also gets more and more fun when they smile and giggle. And start to crawl and stand. It just gets better and better.

I had a really really tough start too as dds didn't feed well either and was very unsettled - turns out she's dairy intolerant, so my milk was upsetting her tummy. We got special formula and I weaned her early which had really helped.

Might be worth checking things checked with your GP. Don't suffer like I did

NessaWH123 · 27/03/2014 22:10

Hey i just want to say hang in there you are doing a great job, the best you can. My little one is one now but has been v high maintenance from day 1. He wouldnt feed well, cry alot, was very unsettled and i found the best thing to do is go out every day. Meet others, go to playgroups, go for a walk, meet for a coffee, swimming etc...i dont have any family to help locally so meeting others is really important. I have just gone back to work for a break!! I found in the end my little one had silent reflux but it took forever for anyone to listen. Things do get easier when they become interested in toys, mmoving etc..which for me was about 10 months. Even now we have extreme happy days or sad days with no middle ground but i remind myself it will get easier and i am doing the best i can. Hope this helps

Original poster

anotherbitofcake · 28/03/2014 07:41

Thanks. I don't think I have much confidence in myself and I take it so hard when he cries as I think I'm failing him. I know I shouldn't think like this though.
I do go out with him a lot but I haven't got over the not giving a shit when he has a meltdown yet. How do u do this?! just keep doing it i guess? I also haven't really breastfed in public yet as he screams at the boob and I have to put all my concentration into each feed.
He does have a tongue tie which I'm about to get sorted. I hope this will make a difference to his feeds and therefore overall mood but I'm trying not to pin hopes on it.
I need to work out a strategy for keeping chilled when he's just raging all day....

OP posts:

Original poster

anotherbitofcake · 28/03/2014 07:45

Sleep wise hmm varies - he goes to bed by 7 and usually wakes around 6:15 ish though sometimes earlier. He has 2 feeds in the night and usually settles ok after so those take about 30 mins each.
Then in day he prob has short nap 30 mins twice in am and 1 in pm. I find it hard to get him to kip longer in day - so 11-12 hours? He prob needs more doesn't he?!

OP posts:

MrsKCastle · 28/03/2014 07:49

It is bloody hard, but yes, it will get easier. MN mantra: 'This, too, shall pass.' Tell it to yourself whenever it's all getting too much! The lack of sleep is also just horrible, it makes everything feel much worse than it is.

Just wondering as well though... Do you think you could have pnd? The comment about feeling tearful a lot made me wonder, and also the thought that you're failing him. If it's a possibility, don't suffer in silence, or wait for it to lift- go and see your GP. I waited for months before I got help, and I was at the point where I could almost have walked out on DH and the kids- I just didn't see the point any more. But once I saw the GP and got some medication, the fog just lifted and I wad me again!

SweetLittleBee · 28/03/2014 08:08

Sending you hugs and sympathy. I know exactly how you feel. My little boy is 15 weeks and pretty high maintenance too and some days it is so so hard, especially when he's really grizzly. The tiredness makes me feel really tearful too. I just try to get a break whenever I can, see understanding friends and family (even if he's crying) and tell myself that this time won't last forever and one day he'll be a delightful little person.

Take care x

Weegiemum · 28/03/2014 08:15

It is hard, and it does get easier. I promise! Mine are now 10, 12 and 14 years old and still alive! I have very few memories of those first few months, I was exhausted, depressed and ill.

You ARE doing great, it's just hard to remember that!

Please though keep a watch on yourself for any signs of PND. Lack of sleep is a trigger (I'm a veteran, I had it all 3 times), so right now you sound like just normal parents at this age, do take care of yourself. Some nice time a couple of times a week just for you is good (I used to have a very long bath, and read every section of the Saturday Guardian!! - not at the same time!).

Congratulations on your ds. Snuggly baby time is the best!!

minipie · 28/03/2014 20:20

cake I got DD's tongue tie cut at 16 weeks and it made a huge difference. suddenly she could feed much better and not get cross/exhausted at each feed, she also started to nap better and be more settled at night. hope it's the same for you. it did take a week or two to see big differences.

clabsyqueen · 28/03/2014 23:01

It definitely gets easier and much much much better (unless you go for 2).
I hate the 0-6 months stage. Awful. Boring. Lonely. Hard work.
Then you go back to work just as they are getting interesting. Sucks.
Having no2 (currently getting interesting at7 months) meant more time spent with lovely 2 year old first born but still the slog of a baby to deal with. Can't win!