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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

When did your children start going to other children's houses?

13 replies

MamaPingu · 22/03/2014 17:52

I was day dreaming last night about when DS goes to school and has friends around to play.

At what age did you start letting your child to another's house from school and having children to your house?

I can't imagine nursery children doing it, but maybe when they're about 5 or 6?

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girliefriend · 22/03/2014 17:53

From reception age I suppose, so yes 5 or 6.

Lozza70 · 22/03/2014 18:06

From about 3 and a half I think but just with 2 close friends from nursery and We had those kids back here. More play dates now after school, reception class.

Bumpsadaisie · 22/03/2014 19:04

From reception. So from 4 and a little bit in my DDs case.

Bowlersarm · 22/03/2014 19:06

At 3, nursery school.

tacal · 22/03/2014 19:24

my ds went to a few friends houses when he was at nursery but I went too. He started school last year and we are still at the stage where he is accompanied by me when he visits his friends and goes places with them after school. He is quite an anxious child so we are taking it slowly. There are lots of parties and events so he is doing plenty of socialising.

CountessOfRule · 22/03/2014 19:28

Without parents?

DC1 in reception - so probably getting on for 4.4 or older. He is very confident though.

DC2 has been to a friend's before age 2 but it was childcare rather than "playdate". She used to be a childminder and I had a hospital appointment. I have reciprocated with her child of the same age, about 21mo at the time. Usually we go to playdates together.

PolkaDott1 · 23/03/2014 08:39

I live in a relatively middle class area and was shocked when my DS was asked regularly back for play dates, without me (yes it took a while to realise I wasn't invited!) by very casual 'friends' I had met at nursery ie from age of 3. It was like a few chats on the stairs with some mums was green light for my son to be invited round for 2 or 3 hours to amuse their child. Most had older kids so had been doing it for years and found my over protective approach amusing. First time I went round too and then the penny dropped. They wanted another child to play with theirs. Not saying they didn't look after mine but some joked about getting some peace as they wouldn't be nagged, getting ironing done or having a nap! But I never got used to the culture, esp when I knew nothing about the home they were going to ie pets, older siblings, other adults there. So I very rarely did it. But everyone else did to the point if you didn't have a play date that day you were missing out. My son is really sharp and soon latched onto this and felt left out a bit.
One time I dropped him at a friends house and they took him to the airport to drop a relative off at work then to a supermarket. Couldn't believe it. When I do play dates I actually create a a nice time for them and keep an eye on them.
He is now in P1 so it has calmed down. But I feel it is too casual...you say hello to someone then they want your child to go around....aged 3. It is ridiculous.

HopelessDei · 24/03/2014 00:49

Without you? Well, DS is 4, in nursery and we often have play dates but never on his own, I'm always there. I think he's too young yet. At this age they're still very unpredictable. I wouldn't want to have to deal with someone else's child's tantrum!

CharityCase · 24/03/2014 02:46

Ds was 2.5. I knew the mum fairly well. I had a childcare crisis and put a thing on fb asking if anyone knew an agency nanny. She responded and said ds could come for a playdate after nursery. It was fine. We regularly have unaccompanied kids at ours now he's 3.5.

JoandMax · 24/03/2014 03:30

DS1 has started having playdates without me in year 1 - he's summer born so was just gone 5. I was a little nervous on the first one, school is 20 minute drive from us and the little boy was another 20 minutes in opposite direction so I stayed aroud the school area so I wasn't so far away (a bit pfb but nevermind).

DS2 was 4 last week and hasn't gone to any yet, I don't think he'd be ready quite yet.

Original poster

MamaPingu · 24/03/2014 10:50

Thank you for your responses!
To me I think around 5 sounds about right, unless you know the family well and trust them.
Like some have said that some parents are very casual about it and invite your children round after speaking you to 5 minutes!
I'd definitely be checking out the houses first, my mum once said my brother could go round to his friends house (about age 9 so she felt ok about letting him go without checking plus he'd been to his friends mums before which was fine) and it turned out they went to the boys dads who was a drug dealer
She was gutted!!

DS will most likely to go to the same school we went to. It's a nice school but the village it's in is half nice and half very rough!

OP posts:

justasmallone · 24/03/2014 10:53

Reception so age 4.

gabbybaby · 24/03/2014 12:22

Totally depends on the child. My older DD, very confident, started going on play dates on her own, to mum's I barely knew, in nursery. It took some getting used to for me, but she was quite happy and confident to go. My younger DD, now in Rec, still won't go to friends without me even if she knows the mum and house quite well (but she is younger, so not yet 5).

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