Advice sought on VERY reserved/hesitant 6 y.o dd

[Panboy]

dd often appears dis-associated from what's going on around her..seems to live 'inside her own head' and sees the outside world as a bit of nuisance. Manifests in refusal to communicate on a fairly basic level at times ( when asked name, age etc, just ignores question, or mumbles an answer) - does have the ability, but chooses to not use it. Had always a 'far away' look, even as a v. young child, but now am more concerned as she gets older. eg in toy shops she stays firmly by my side, no spontaneity, and only seems to choose something out of 'duty'.
Have raised this with her mum, who remains in a denial over it despite the obvious evidences. OTher mums I know concur with me.
DO NOT wish for her mum to do/say anything differently, but am asking for any gambits/techniques/lines of approach I may use when out with her, or at my home?
This may raise some basic questions about life-arrangements, and if anyone wishes to enquire or offer a perspective, I am very open to expaining anything. Anyone??

at "far too prolific"

pmsl - resignation accepted

Please CAT me so I can give you my address for when you are done /

Read opening chapter last night...dd undoubtedly within the authors def. of "sensitive child"...offski to work - catch you later.

Oooh sounds interesting......catcha later.

I think, like me, you will find it fascinating. I may be imagining it, but ds's behavior seems to have improved dramatically once I have subtly altered my responses to him. Of course, my ds is only 3 so a whole different area than your dd, Pan.

Panboy, I empathise, as my ds2 is nearly 9 and is just a tad 'different' , so my 'advice' in my earlier post is what I have spent 9 years realising and learning about my own child, if that makes sense. I haven't read the HSC book, but have got the gist of what constitutes a HSC from reading other threads on here and my ds2 definitely fits many of the criteria. Sorry, this is a little garbled, I should post when I'm less tired. But glad to see so many responses to your OP.

thank you FMF - I have skipped forwards in the bookk a wee bit, to find that Iam instinctively doing things I should be...but a whole lot of other things to be aware of..Lotte hits about half of the HSC indicators - am feeling a bit more justified, and grateful, for registering on the site - though some of the other threads are eye-openers too...

Such as.....?

Keep talking about what she notices..nomalise for her the oddities she says/does - empathise with expressions of like/dislike - don't directly challenge her view of the world in front of her, unless H&S says you should.

Discovered that HSCs can be extroverts as well as being more introverted..

All sorts.

Sounds really interesting. Cant wait to read it meself

I wondered what the eye-openers were.....

What?????

My language and topics of conversations have deteriorated dreadfully since registering here...guess that is just one of the extra benefits!!

Do you honestly expect me to believe that?

Admittedly, there were more sex related threads than usual over the weekend.......But, surely one can have an intelligent discussion about anything one wants to ?

of course VVV - tongue was firmly in cheek, IYKWIM.....limitations of the writen word to convey humour things. Do like it on here - wouldn't wish to offend or to be taken too seripusly, except when people post some really crap advice to vulnerable people - and YOU DO KWIM there!!

I certainly do! Its really quite shocking what some folk think is acceptable discourse to someone who is down or suffering.

The momentum carries us away to the point where the OP must be thinking "WTF? Selfish bastards!"

but then I do suspect there may be one or two drama queens around....

Mr P, I think the OP appreciates the monitoring on occasion....

I fear you are right re drama queens, and not forgetting attention seekers...

Oooh!You are such a cynic!!

Knew I liked your style from the first thing I read of yours, and then it just kept getting re-confirmed each time...

I may be assumptive here but I do suspect we do smell the flowers in a similar way, and if that's true, it is lovely to have met you.

LOL! Cynic? Moi?(remind me what that first thing was.....?)

and thank you, likewise, I think we do

Bed time. Work tomorrow and book to read.x

Night Mr P. x

I'm glad you are finding it helpful, PB. It's gratifying to know that I read things correctly re: your dd. I only wish I had known about HSC's 3 years ago!!

HSC note things but don't comment on them?

Tonight I collected her from the out of school club. In a suit. She says to me."I prefer that tie daddy. Green is your favourite colour, isn't it?"

We talk alot about her 'favourite colours' (usually purple and yellow). She had not seen this tie for about a year. And I have never professed to green being my favourite colour.

Before even my little understanding about HSC, Iwould have noted this as an amusement of hers, but am having my eyes opened to her other potentials.

Surely other parents have had these moments but dismissed them as eccentricities in the moment?

jabberwocky - if you have space, may you say some things about what tipped you into HSC about yoyur little one?

Is green your favourite colour?

Whats your idea?

I may be some time with this book - limited time to read...the opening parts are about identifying an HSC.

I could do 10 mins at a photocopier and forward the opening parts to you.

I will probably finish reading some time into next week - it depends how potent your was yesterday in wishing to read the thing!

Can post the first part of it tomorrow, or you wait til the end of next week? Let me know?