How do you bring up a confident (but polite) child?

[moomin35]

Has anyone got any tips? I have grown up polite (I think!) but my mother knocked all confidence out of me and I dont want to repeat this chain, how do I instill confidence in my child?

Perhaps by explaining that we are polite to make life more pleasant and showing by your reaction that it's not a catastrophe if a child forgets this time to say thank you.

What did your mother do that caused the negative effects? Think about that and avoid!

I think (I'm no expert mind you as my DD1 is only 3 months, so I hope you don't mind me giving an opinion) that if you give your child encouragement and praise when it's due they become confident, I say this as my parents never really encouraged me to do or be anything, and I was never very confident or assertive until I became older and gained it myself. Also, maybe if you are polite and confident then child will follow suit??? I don't know, that's my thoughts anyway...

I think the example you set is very important. Then push them slightly out of their comfort zone, e.g. making them pay in shops or tell the waiter themselves what they would like to eat. Teach, by example but also by talking about it, things like greeting people and saying please and thank you. Depending on the age of your child, discuss the fact that you can e.g. disagree with a teacher but still be polite and respectful.

I think there;s a lot in this Also, maybe if you are polite and confident then child will follow suit??? that Hotmad said.

Politeness I definitely think comes from what they see and hear every day. Confidence perhaps needs more 'work' but is such a help in life, it's really worth working on.
I've always encouraged my children to have that little bit of independence and speak to people themselves if they want something, rather than me doing it for them, for example. Am amazed at the number of parents who go and ask for things for their dc, when the dc are perfectly able to speak for themselves.

x-posted with LastingLight

Definitely lead by example, but also make sure your kids know that you love them millions. The most confident children in my experience are the ones that feel really secure in the love of their parent/parents.

Just be polite to them. Then over the years rephrase things they say so they are polite - but don't make it into an issue.