Struggling

[Taler]

I will start off with positives that my 16 wk old DD is generally a happy contented baby who clearly knows the difference between night and day, has her late feed at 11pm and the next one after that is around 6:00/6:30am. I believe this is pretty good going for such a young baby.

What i struggle with is her lack of daytime naps!! She generally only naps for 20/30 minutes maximum and even then I can, sometimes, spend 20/30 mins (on average) going in and out her room putting the dummy back in!

I literally have no time during the day to myself. 20/30 mins max!!! I do find this hard! Especially at the moment as I'm trying really hard to read up on weaning, what my options are, how best to get started, finding good recipes etc. I have some books plus was going to go on line. But when on earth am I supposed to find the time?!?

After her evening bath I hand her over I her dad who does her feed but I'm them doing dinner. After dinner I have bottles, washing etc and maybe half hour-hour to collapse in front of the telly before bed.

Does anyone else have a baby who rarely naps?

Oh that does sound hard! Does she nap anywhere else other than in her room, in the car or pushchair for example? Sling?

My ds naps for hours and hours ( up to 4 hours if I let him) and he is over 1. I let him fall asleep on me and cuddle him for an hour after that I put him down on the sofa and he often sleeps another 1 or 2 hours. Have you tried holding your baby whilst they sleep?

Don't worry about reading up about weaning, it's very simple give them food, either the same as you are eating or puree that you make yourself or buy from the shop. The only rules are no salt or honey before 1.

She doesn't really nap anywhere else, although today (1st time) after coming back home she remained asleep in her car seat so i of course left her. That was still only 25 mins in total!

She would definitely fall asleep on me and possibly stay asleep longer each time but I really don't want to do this. She can, and does, settle in her Moses basket and whilst I of course love cuddling her I don't want to get into bad habits.

I see cuddling my sleeping baby as an entirely good habit! It's fantastic I get to have a lovely cuddle with ds and watch some t.v., read a book or mumsnet.

We also co-sleep and I think ds associates sleep with cosy cuddly time, I think that is why he loves sleep so much.

But surely u r then just teaching them that they need you to go to sleep?

I wouldn't worry about bad habits, tbh, they're as easily unlearned as learned. Also your baby is tiny for approximately 10 mins, so meh, whatever habits you get stuck with probably won't feature in the film of your life. Sling! With a baby! At the park, then the coffee shop, then the niknak shop, back to the coffee shop, then the deli for dinner items that you really shouldn't be bothering yourself to russle up with such a young baby to manage. Is my overall recommendation. My DD is 9mo and we've a toddler to jolly along but we more or less do this with added playdates.

Oh, should say she does two short or one long nap, but must be on me and late to sleep-after lunch- for the long one.

Oh, but they won't need you forever. I promise :)

If you don't have a toddler to look after as well, then treasure those naps with her in the day.

16 week old naps on your lap are heaven.

I'd prefer ds needed and used me to go to sleep than only sleep for a short time. I think sleep is really important for babies and young children. I don't believe he will need me to go to sleep forever, I want to make the most of it while I have the chance :)

Will she sleep in the pram? My 8mo, like his brother before him, napped best in the pram in the kitchen with the extractor fan on for a bit of white noise.

Otherwise - don't worry, this all consuming phase passes quickly. When they crawl it's a pain as you have to have your beady eye on them all the time but they normally nap better by then.

One thing which worked for dd was when she looked like she was about to wake up from a nap, do something to make her go back to sleep again - rock her or play white noise or stick a boob in her mouth. She would then go back to sleep for another sleep cycle of 40 mins or so

Hey. I feel your pain, had exactly the same problem with both my boys. It's extremely wearing not getting a break in the day, but I was never allowed to complain as they slept at night!

What I would say is my 2 were /are terrible sleepers in car seats, buggies or even held. The noise or lights seemed to always wake them up after 20 mins. A cot in a dark room worked better, but this still only bought me 30mins a time! They have grown out of it, once nighttime is settled and they go to bed at a reasonable time (have you started a bedtime routine?) It gradually got better. DS1 at about 10 months had 2 naps a day, about an hour a time. DS2 now 11 months has a 30-45 min nap in the morning and an hour or more in the afternoon. This is only the case in a cot as it was with DS1 who has now dripped naps altogether from 2.9y, tbh this has made life easier as he never sleeps properly outside a bed so now I'm free for days with him at least.

Keep at it, she will learn to settle themselves for naps soon you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it! You can't describe how hard it is to people though how difficult it is not getting any time off in the day. You have my sympathies.

Just do whatever it takes to get her into good sleep habits. I don't mean 'self settling in a crib', I just mean taking a nap. If this means cuddles, carrying, swing, rocker, car then so be it. Once they get used to a decent nap you can then use nice gentle techniques like gradual withdrawal to get them self settling. If you really want to. TBH I fought a very long battle to get DS to nap at all, having him sleep in my was a dream. Then smart phones are a godsend too :D

*in my arms