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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

14m old permenantly attached

18 replies

Kafri · 03/03/2014 07:37

Morning

My DS is 14m old and simply will not leave my side.

When I shower in the morning he clings to the side of the bath screaming
When I get dressed he stands at my leg screaming to be picked up
When I'm in the living room he stands at my legs rather than playing with anything.
Whatever I'm doing he is clinging to me

It's not like it's a new thing to be put down - he has always been put down and has always screamed -I guess I just thought he'd grow out of it especially when he learnt to 'play' a bot more to entertain himself for a few mins.

Also, he HATES being in the house. He had every toy imaginable and I keep them in separate boxes so I can alternate them to try to stop boredom but honestly - if we're in the house, he's screaming and whining and won't play with anything but then of we go out somewhere is generally much much happier.

It is driving me crackers - I simply can't be out ALL the time.

Any offers of advice.

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Rooners · 03/03/2014 08:02

Teething.

I have one exactly the same!

All you can do is try and minimise other stuff - it's driving us all bonkers, here, and ds1 is having to hold him while I go to the loo/do whatever, but it won't last long.

I haven't had a shower in a while

Good luck

Rooners · 03/03/2014 08:03

I mean he is probably getting his pre molars.

They are a bugger.

juneau · 03/03/2014 08:06

This is an age when many DC suffer from separation anxiety. It passes, but it can be really difficult while it's going on. Just grit your teeth - he'll get over it.

Original poster

Kafri · 03/03/2014 16:49

Thanks folks. i keep telling myself that its a phase. I guess it's just toughing it out and enjoying the good moments as they happen and hoping they become more frequent over time.

Pre molars eh!! Hmmm I'll try to have a gander to se of I can spot anything coming. Getting more difficult to see as they get further back.

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Rooners · 03/03/2014 17:20

Ha Mine won't let me near his little mouth! He clamps it up, I got a feel of the new toothies last week, but then he bit me

good luck x

BotBotticelli · 03/03/2014 19:51

I have a 14mo like this too - it's tough! I am back at work 3 days per week and I have to say I am loving my relaxing days in the office ATM!

Strangely my DS is mostly like this with me: he is much more chilled with DH and is as happy as Larry all day at nursery

On my days at home with DS I make sure we are out the house by 9am each day: in this bad weather I have been finding different church playgroups where he can go mad with loads of toys and I get a warm cuppa and sometimes even a sit down. Parks, soft play, even the shops...he is generally much happier anywhere other than our home (which is a small flat which I think is making things worse).

No real advice but lots of sympathy.

BotBotticelli · 03/03/2014 19:53

Meant to say we are out by 9am every day, back at noon for lunch and then his nap (aka mummy's lunch break!) and then back out again in the afternoon by 2.30/3 ish. In the afternoon we tend to do library rhyme time, play date at a friends house, or trip to garden centre to see fish...! Home for 5pm, quick tea, bath at 6.15pm, bed at 6.45.

It's exhausting but DS has always been like this - horrid in the house. We have always had a "two outings per day" routine since he was about 5mo. I am exhausted all the time but it's better than being at home with him moaning, crying and making a massive mess.

Original poster

Kafri · 03/03/2014 22:26

I agree, getting out the house is preferable to being in with a screamy baby.
The garden is completely baby friendly so I'm hoping plenty of garden toys when he's walking confidently will allow me a little bit of respite from finding places to go all the time. I live in hope.
It doesnt help matters that he hates being confined in his pram so the limits us too

So glad I'm not the only one with the 'house' issue. I was really wondering what the hell I was doing wrong.

He is defo worse with me and I get glowing reports from nursery the 3 days he's there while I'm in uni!!! I defo cherish that bit of time I get hands free now.

His latest trick is refusing nigh on all meals at home which I thought was the remnants of being poorly late last week. Told nursery he's been off his food all weekend only to be told when I picked him up today that he'd wolfed the lot...

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Original poster

Kafri · 03/03/2014 22:31

Wrt getting out - I go to the local Nct groups near me which have been a godsend to be honest. Luckily there is one on both a thurs and fri morning which covers the mornings I'm home with him so just have afts and weekends to fill!!

I'm a bit cross about the play centres to be honest. He's gone up to full price now he's over 1 yet can't do any more now than before he was 1. He's not walking yet. I don't know, maybe that's just me that thinks full price for a 1yr old is a bit steep when you compare a 1yr old and a 5yr old.

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DIYandEatCake · 03/03/2014 23:33

My dd was exactly as you describe, and I remember it being completely draining. She would scream and hang on my legs while I cooked dinner, and when we went on holiday to a cottage with a walk in shower, she climbed into the shower fully clothed, clung onto my legs and then, yep, screamed because she was all wet...! She had pretty extreme separation anxiety from just a few weeks old.
It took til past 18 months to improve... But somewhere between 18 and 24 months it did get a lot better. She is still very fond of cuddles at nearly 3, still very dependent on me and clingy when ill or tired, but the awful screaming and clinging is just a memory now. Hang in there!

Original poster

Kafri · 04/03/2014 07:10

Thanks.

He's just woke and DH is getting him ready and I can just fear the screaming. Everything is the end of the world to him and even when happy, is quick to slip into the whiny, screamy mode that's normal for him.

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StuntNun · 04/03/2014 07:29

Do you have a baby carrier you can use? My DS3 is 15mo and just as you describe - holding on to my knees screaming to be picked up. If I put him on my back in the carrier he's a lot happier and I can get on with things with my arms free.

Original poster

Kafri · 04/03/2014 23:20

stunt we do have a carrier. I've got a front and a back one but he hates them - he hates being confined in anything - pram, high chair, carrier. Confinement is just something else for him to scream about as if he needs anything else

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glizzle · 05/03/2014 15:13

14 months has been the hardest age with my son (now almost 3). I did a lot of crying. By 16 months he was awesome again. I don't know if there's some developmental thing around then or if it's as they transition from baby to toddler but for us it was hideous. I agree with pp's, if your day is easier when you're out go out, especially now as hopefully the weather's improving

Bumpsadaisie · 05/03/2014 16:50

Ah, I feel for you. It's common. My completely unscientific theory is that they get like this at about the same time as they start walking - to prevent them wandering off into the jungle and getting eaten by bears.

Such hard work though. I used to put mine in the backpack while I got on with cooking etc sometimes.

And we went out a LOT.

It does get better promise. In 6 mths time he will happily sit and watch TV and eat his sandwiches while you mumsnet!

Original poster

Kafri · 06/03/2014 06:35

I guess it's just normal for some kids then..

I just get to the point where I feel like I can't do anything right for him.

He's happy at nursery yet miserable at home.
He'll eat at nursery but will barely touch food at home.
He won't go in a pram, carrier, high chair etc - Hates being confined.

I spend every day in with him constantly working to stop the whining tipping over to screaming, and then working harder once it does tip over.

Added to this now he's started getting up at 6 so longer to entertain before anywhere open and then only having a half hour nap before waking screaming again

All in all - I'm bloody exhausted. X

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Original poster

Kafri · 06/03/2014 06:37

That was supposed to be 'every day I'M with him' not IN with him. I certainly couldn't face a full day at home with him atm - lol.

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stopgap · 06/03/2014 13:37

Sounds exactly like my son. I could never put him down as a baby or young toddler, and he is still a ball if energy and his speech is peppered with cries of "Mummy" 24/7. I do SAH with him, but he has lots if friends and groups that we go to, plus he is happy to be left with various people.

Only recently, though, has the whining and intense clinging has started to subside, leaving the beginnings of a curious, independent little boy. But by goodness it's been a long road.

He's starting preschool two mornings a week in September, which I think will improve things further.

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