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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do your 4 year olds still have tantrums?

21 replies

Girlsville · 12/02/2014 15:08

My DD is 3, but turning 4 later this month.

She is going through a testing phase at the moment, and getting very upset if she cant have things exactly her own way. On average she probably has about one tantrum a day, even if she is delightful for the rest fo the dday.

She is my oldest and i sort of expected the tantrums to have disappeared by now, but she works herself into a terrible stae.

Just after some ideas really.

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Finnbheara · 12/02/2014 15:14

Yes DS2 still has terrible tantrums. He is also delightful most of the time but he likes things done just so and he has mild communication problems and gets very upset when we don't understand him.

Finnbheara · 12/02/2014 15:15

He is 4yo

blackteaplease · 12/02/2014 15:17

Yep, my dd was 4 in December and can throw an epic tantrum, usually it's a control issue except for Saturdays and that's because she is knackered from her swimming lesson.

I am slowly learning to not automatically say no just because it's the way I want it done, if it's a non-issue she gets her own way. But some things are still non-negotiable.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 12/02/2014 15:22

DD1 was out of tantrums at 3.5 yo but from what I have seen with her friends it is quite rare (think 5/6!). DD2 is just 4 and still has tantrums (several a day) but she is frustrated by her speech (delay).

Original poster

Girlsville · 12/02/2014 15:22

Thank you all! very reasuring. With my DD it is eitehr about control or when she isvery tired. It doesnt make ita ny easier to deal with tho.
Blacktea- agree, I am also starting to not say no because its the way I want it.
i also have anotehr dd who is about to eb three - she is so easy and i think it makes DD1s tantrums seem all the worse.

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TheRaniOfYawn · 12/02/2014 15:25

My 7 year old still has tantrums from time to time and other parents at school/ friends with children of similar ages say their kids do too, especially towards the end of term when they are tired.

insearchoftheFlumFlumTree · 12/02/2014 20:27

My 5 year old still has tantrums fairly regularly (always, always towards the end of a day when he is tired, and only very rarely during school holidays).

bellablot · 12/02/2014 20:31

OMG yeah! My 5 year old still has tantrums !

LongWordsBotherMe · 12/02/2014 20:32

My 4 year old can and does throw major scary tantrums but they are often related to preservatives in snacks he has been given at nursery. At other times, he can generally be reasoned out of it in the early stages. However, things not going as he expects are a real flash point for him.

PatriciaHolm · 12/02/2014 20:38

My 7 year old still does sometimes!

And the nine year old is just getting into the prototeenage ones.
Fun fun fun!

BeeInYourBonnet · 12/02/2014 22:46

Oddly my almost 5yo only started having tantrums when he turned 4.

BlueDesmarais · 13/02/2014 10:27

4 has been the worst age for tantrums. He's just approaching 5 and I'd say he was growing out of it now, some real improvements and maturity showing through, but 3 up to 4 and a bit, loud, loud, LOUD tantrums a bit like you'd expect of a small baby. In a cartoon.

He was good as gold for three years so I reckon I had it coming.

Google 'the f--king fours', you're not alone!

jennifleurs · 13/02/2014 10:31

My DS is nearly 8 and still has occasional tantrums. He certainly had then when he was 4!

steppemum · 13/02/2014 10:37

dd1 is 9, she still has tantrums, they look different form when she was 4, but they are still basically tantrums.

ds is 11 and he throws strops too. I wouldn't call them tantrums to his face but they are just older versions of the same thing

sigh

teenage years still to come...

charlie1990 · 13/02/2014 10:39

My four year old occasional tantrums. But i know what sets her off. e.g if her routine is slightly changed and surprises

Does anyone else finds this with there LO.

affinia · 13/02/2014 17:14

My 5 year old tantrums every day about some perceived outrage!

Original poster

Girlsville · 13/02/2014 21:17

Thank you everyone! Why did I think they outgrow them by this age?!?!

OP posts:

PatriciaHolm · 13/02/2014 21:27

Not sure we've made you feel any better though! He's entirely normal, and there may be years of these to come…..!

steppemum · 14/02/2014 10:32

agree with charlie though, you do start to learn what triggers it, and that helps to avoid it, if you can.

then when you get to pre teens the hormones add to the mix...

Original poster

Girlsville · 14/02/2014 16:34

Sometimes I do know what is about to trigger it but there is not much I can do to change it eg leaving somewhere when she doesn't want to etc.....tiredness is another big trigger.
On a positive note pleased that it's very normal, on a more depressed note can't quite believe this will go on for years,

OP posts:

my2bundles · 14/02/2014 17:02

Tantrums happen in most age groups, they just take different forms as they get older.

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