5.5 yr old son wetting himself (seemingly) on purpose.

[doasIsaynotasIdo]

DS was 5 in May, and has been dry since he was about 2-2.5 yrs old. He is also dry at night. I know he sometimes gets distracted and ends up having to dash to the toilet at the last minute, but roughly 5 days out of every 7 he will wet his trousers significantly enough to require a change of clothes. More often than not, this does not seem to bother him. If we remind him or prompt him to go to the loo, he swears blind he does not need it, only to 'leak' a few minutes later. He has never once had an accident at school (and he has been full time for the best part of 3 years), which leads me to believe he is able to control his bladder when he wants to. This also makes me doubt there is a medical reason for his lack of bladder control, as he can pick and choose when he has accidents. There is nothing we know of that is upsetting or worrying him, he gets loads of attention from those around him, is happy at school and so on. Being wet does not seem to bother him, but it is bothering me and DH! Reward charts and so on do not hold any interest for him long term, and I don't want to punish him too harshly for fear of giving him issues about using the toilet. This behavior needs to change though. All advice gratefully received. TIA.

You could try a sticker chart - give him a sticker for every dry day and reward after 5. You could also make him wash the pants by hand although that could backfire if he enjoys playing with the soapy water.

Thanks to you both. I've tried the sticker thing to no avail, and he would love to play in the soapy water so not sure that would be a deterrent. I can certainly give it a try though, it's a good suggestion. Maybe I could get him to load/unload the washing machine rather than doing it in the sink? Less fun for him that way. No UTI, he is not in any pain and can control his bladder when he wants to (school, play dates and so on). We have recently taken away all his spare trousers and pj bottoms and said he can only have one pair of each per day. If he wets them, then he has to miss out on whatever outing we have planned due to being trouserless. This works if we have a trip planned to somewhere like the dinosaur museum which he really wants to go on, but has no effect if we are just playing at home. He is a ferociously independent wee thing, and does not like to be told what to do in any way, shaper or form. Seems he would rather pee his pants than go to the loo when asked. Very frustrating! I hope it is a phase, and that is passes swiftly!

A couple of things to think about:

He might have a small/irritable bladder, try (counterintuitive I know) increasing fluid intake during the day. Water best, avoid red/brown drinks like cola/tea/ribena. Stick a sports type bottle in his hand as you/whoever is picks up after school.

He might be chronically constipated, an impacted bowel can put pressure on the bladder causing leaks and accidents

My advice would be take the problem to your GP or school nurse

Think a trip to the GP might be in order. Don't think it is related to his bowel as he seems fine on that front, accidents are only ever wee related. He has a water bottle with him all day and school are pretty good at reminding the kids to drink lots throughout the day. At least the GP could rule out UTI for sure so think that will be my next step. Thanks all.