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Original poster

Concerns about my daughter.

134 replies

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 03/02/2014 13:03

My daughter is 14.5 months old. She can walk unaided however she has no words, doesn't point or wave, she can clap but mostly it's arm flapping. She doesn't seem to respond to her name as well as before and when it comes to her toys she just hits them together then throws them.

She'll look and move an object in her hand and just stare at it.

She loves books but is more than happy to sit herself with them. She has good eye contact and will beam when I look at her, she likes to find me when I hide and laughs a lot when she does.

She does make a "mmmmmm" nose and she seems to say "goh" a lot.

I'm waiting for my HV to call back and arrange an appointment to see her.

Also if I point and look at something she doesn't pay attention.

OP posts:
Timetoask · 04/02/2014 08:22

I will be honest and say that the no waving or pointing would worry me, please make an appointment with the doctor and make sure they don't fob you off and you get an appointment with a chid centre.

Timetoask · 04/02/2014 08:23

When I took my ds1 to see the health visitor (ds 1 is now 9 years old and with special needs) she told me not to worry "the quiet ones do better at school". Completely pointless and useless.

LongWordsBotherMe · 04/02/2014 08:30

Mine told me that there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with ds because he was too beautiful! Grrr

Original poster
DontWannaBeObamasElf · 04/02/2014 08:34

She's coming round tomorrow. I have to admit that she is quite good so I'm hoping I won't be fobbed off. Took all my strength not to cry on the phone.

OP posts:
SomewhatSilly · 04/02/2014 08:44

Hello, my DS1 had some similar issues and is currently being assessed by a SLT and waiting for paed referral. No one would agree to this until very recently (just before he turned 3) as there is so much variation in kids this age.

The lack of words wouldn't really concern me, although the no response to name/pointing things would and I think they are worth getting checked out.

I would ask for a hearing referral straight off, as you need to rule out something 'straightforward' like hearing loss (glue ear or some such). This can be done soon - DS was 18mths when he had his hearing tested.

I know it's stressful, I really, really do (I'm living it myself, with more concrete concerns as my son over three now), but I think raising concerns, having assessments done etc and having all that stress and finding out you didn't need to worry is far better than head-in-the-sand missing something.

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 08:54

Why are people saying not pointing is a problem at 14 months? You worry about not pointing, only if they are not doing it by 18 months. My youngest dd probably did not point until 16 months and she's totally NT.

Original poster
DontWannaBeObamasElf · 04/02/2014 09:12

It's not the pointing on its own which is concerning me but the lack of response to me. If I try and get her attention to show her something it's like I'm not there sometimes. Your post is reassuring, Lottie.

Her ears are pretty waxy but I think her hearing is fine as she looks at me when I sing and she dances.

OP posts:
SomewhatSilly · 04/02/2014 11:04

Hearing problems can be a bit more subtle than that, though - she could still be able to hear you singing without being able to make out individual words for example, or despite having difficulty with certain tones/pitches/low volume.the main thing is that if you still have concerns in a few months, the first thing you will be asked is whether you've had her hearing tested!

Original poster
DontWannaBeObamasElf · 04/02/2014 11:06

As I said before, her ears are waxy and I notice hard dark bits coming out. I asked her last night where her snacks were and she walked straight to the cupboard.

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 11:11

It's always sensible to keep an eye on any concerns you may have and as a child's mother you are in the best position to know but try not to worry too much. A child failing the CHAT test at 18 months will be at higher risk of developing autism but it is by no means diagnostic.

I have a dd who is severely autistic but at 12-14 months she looks quite NT on a video tape - she copies sounds, waves and has a few words. She also interacts with us. It was only from the age of about 20 months that she began to look very different from other kids her age and stopped looking up when people came into the room.

So I guess the thing to do is to be vigilant but not to panic and see how she's doing at 18 months. In the meantime you can encourage pointing and joint attention with the song 'Wind the bobbin up' and do things where you encourage her to imitate you.

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 11:13

Showing understanding of what you've said to her is a food sign. At this age and even older, receptive language is far more important than expressive.

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 11:13

A good sign, not a food sign!

leavesalmondoutofit · 04/02/2014 11:49

I think you are amazing. You are obviously aware of your daughters needs and development. You are right to look for help if you have any worrie You also know that you are a bit anxious as well most of us are.
I agree that the first port of call is to have her hearing checked. Glue ear is a build up of fluid in the middle ear. My friend knew from the level of sound on the TV when her daughter's glue ear was worse. Wax in the ears does not usually case hearing problems.
I hope all is well and that nothing significant is wrong. You sound as if you enjoy your daughters achievements just keep doing this. You said she is walking well Smile she is obviously working on her motor skills her social skills will come too. You might not notice when you are chasing her Grin

Original poster
DontWannaBeObamasElf · 04/02/2014 11:52

Thank you, Salmond. Who's chopping onions in here?! She is an amazing wee thing, so smiley and happy. My favourite thing is when she reaches for my hand when she's walking, melts me.

OP posts:
ikeaismylocal · 04/02/2014 12:09

My ds is 13 months and doesn't always react to his name. I have spoken to friends with simalar aged toddlers and it seems quite normal, he does somethimes react to his name, I think that they sometimes don't respond to their name because these days parents are so attentive that somethimes the attention can get a bit much and they enjoy spending time by themselves.

Do you wave lots? I think pointing is a skill they learn automatically regardless of how much you point but clapping and waving defiantly need to be taught.

The shared attention sounds great.

I have worried lots about ds's development, dp said something whichehelped me worry less, he said that if ds is autistic or has adhd it would just be part of him, he'd still be our ds and we'd still love him just as much. I am a real worrier and I was wasting lots of time worrying about things that ultimately I had no control over. Now I try to just enjoy ds.

Original poster
DontWannaBeObamasElf · 04/02/2014 12:19

She just looks at me like I'm mad when I wave. She can clap a bit, part of me thinks that's what she's trying to of when she flaps?

I said last night "Even if she is Autistic, she's still BabyElf. Raising her will be different to how we thought it would be but it'll be the same as it was going to be." If that makes sense?

OP posts:
Original poster
DontWannaBeObamasElf · 04/02/2014 14:20

She's spent a few minutes walking around with two pieces of plastic cake, dropping them then swapping them round before doing the same again and wouldn't offer me any whereas she used to. She's copying jumping on the tv and she was holding on to a foam ball and bouncing on her knees.

I'm obsessing now aren't I?

OP posts:
ikeaismylocal · 04/02/2014 14:49

The Dr told me that bashing toys was equivalent to clapping, ds couldn't clap at his 8 month check --so they gave him blocks to bash together!

ikeaismylocal · 04/02/2014 14:49

The Dr told me that bashing toys was equivalent to clapping, ds couldn't clap at his 8 month check --so they gave him blocks to bash together!

SomewhatSilly · 04/02/2014 15:00

That makes perfect sense :)

My DS is very obviously not NT but he's still him and regardless of any diagnosis we eventually get, he's bloody amazing and I love the bones of him.

Branleuse · 04/02/2014 18:40

I wouldn't worry about regression, that's unlikely. Good luck with the HV,x

lottieandmia · 04/02/2014 20:13

Yes it's unfortunate that some people really think that disabled children are somehow less loveable than NT kids and nothing could be further from the truth of course.

SimLondon · 04/02/2014 20:15

I had similar worries, DD didn't have a single word until 15 months and didnt point (closed hand) until around then - i even did the m-chat test. But it was fine. Does she like peek-a-boo?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/02/2014 20:24

I m glad you are getting her checked out. A oarent's gut feeling should never be ignored.

And by the way..my DD did regress..not sayinf yours will...and she is the most cuddly loving child on earth.

:)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/02/2014 20:30

My DD is actually the happiest child you could ever meet. She wakes up happy, is happy all day and wont even sleep because she is so busy being happy..

She also has pretty severe autism.

Not saying your DD has. But don't be terrified of it.