Toothbrushing trauma - keep going or give up??

[Playitagainsam]

My dd is 20 mo, and is generally quite a chilled out little girl, in as far as a toddler can be anyway. But for some reason she just has a major issue with toothbrushing. She's never liked it but will go through phases of being a bit more accepting of it. Right now we're in the clamping mouth shut, going bright red and getting really upset phase - the only time I can get the brush in her mouth is when she's screaming and crying her eyes out. I feel like an awful mum but I just don't know what's worse - getting her in that state every day or not brushing her teeth! In reality, even when we get to that point, it's not a great brushing effort as she's thrashing her head around!!
I think we're all a bit traumatised by it. I've read one opinion that says don't turn it into a battle, but what's the alternative? Rotten teeth?!
We've tried lots of different things, brushing them in the bath, on our laps, giving her a second brush to play with, distracting her...all ends the same way. I'd just love to know your opinions on what to do. Thanks!

Maybe you could sit and brush yours, and seeing you do this might intrigue her enough to try doing hers herself with you x

Ds was a bit like this, like you say sometimes he accepted it, sometimes he screamed. I persevered and he did (eventually) accept that it has to be done, and is fine about it now. He's 5 now, can't remember exactly how long it took for him to stop resisting, sorry.

Thanks Loubylou, we've tried that - maybe I need to try it again! She just seems immune to every possible tactic. I swear she knows what we're up to!

I used to have to sit on DS. Literally. Pin him down. Really unpleasant for all concerned. I don't remember how long it lasted but he's now 5 and doesn't mind at all.

Do you have a light up toothbrush? DS loved his Star Wars "light saber" toothbrushes.

We gave our Ds an electric toothbrush to try. He loved it, especially as he could have a go himself. We figured it was probably doing more good than the cursory brushing that he allowed us many a time.

Watching. Same w 2.6yo ds1. Two toothbrushes works maybe once a week but otherwise he just chews the toothbrush for a few seconds then announces he's finished. Someone medically trained said we are basically providing flouride for eventual adult teeth and the baby ones can be sacrificed but I don't really want to submit him to the dental pain in the meantime.

It's good to know there's light at the end of the tunnel!! I suppose you don't hear many teenagers screaming while brushing their teeth! Only 11 years to wait then!

We've just come out of this phase. Dd lets me most nights now. I also have a chewy toothbrush which I give her to chomp on as well.

Twoandtwo halves oh no you're still dealing with this at 2.6?! Has your ds always hated it?

Just carry on. I she flails about then pin her down. If she screams then use the opportunity to get the toothbrush in. Toothbrushing is non-negotiable. I know someone whose DD had to have some extractions which might have been avoided if she had brushed better. That involved various dental appointments and a general anesthetic. I think a couple of screaming minutes a day is preferable.

My DD used to hate it. She is now 3 and fine with it and doesn't seem to remember hating it.

I think we had a bit of a turning point when we started to say "I can see a bit of carrot, did you have carrot for lunch? There's some banana, did you have banana for pudding?" etc. But this won't work on a screaming child.

Does she have any siblings/older cousins/friends to watch and model from?

What age can you use electric toothbrushes from? Or should I not be worrying about that right now!

Have you tried different toothpastes? dd2 finds some too 'spicy'. She likes the Hello Kitty one (Sainsbury and 99p shop) but not sure what age it is for. They do eventually come round although we dropped it to once a day for a while as it was too traumatic. Cheese is quite good at neutralising acid in between teeth brushing.

Another vote for persevere. My two are stubborn as mules in all other respects, but I reckon we get a good tooth brush 6 out of 7 nights now.

We did it in the bath to start with as it was warm and fun and didn't matter if they made a mess. Also they love their baths so if they didn't co-operate it was out of the bath = end of play.

Now (26mo) do it perched on a special seat next tot he sink which they think is all grown up and fun.

Make sure you're using decent kids toothpaste though, some of it is rank!

Breatheslowly I saw that great tip on here before and I started using it on her - it worked brilliantly for a couple of weeks then all of a sudden the mouth clamped shut again!! Just won't work now, even before the screaming starts.
I would hate the thought of her needing to have treatment because I couldn't cope with the guilt of pinning her down! I just really wish we didn't have to do it EVERY flippin night....

I fall on the side of it being "non-negotiable". I wouldn't make seatbelts or holding hands across the road something not to battle over, and I do think teeth brushing is important.

DS went through a similar phase at a similar age and I would wrap him tight in a towel after his bath and just do it as quickly as possible.

Have you tried different flavours? My normally mildmannered 3yo absolutely hates the taste of mint! When our sainsburys discontinued their pink fruity toothpaste we had weeks of trauma whipe we yre until I eventually found a bloody expensive

My 19 Monty old hates it. She will happily chew on the toothbrush but as soon as I want to actually brush her teeth she goes mad. I'm just very matter of fact, I have to hold her arms with one of mine and brush her teeth while she screams at me. Every so often she will sit there and let it be done with no fuss, but majority of time it's a battle. I just hope she grows out of it!

Tbh I'm the only one who applies any pressure, I did that mouth-open-to-scream-so-shove-toothbrush-in thing for a few weeks but then lost the will it was so horrible for everyone. DH has diabolical teeth and hasn't visited a dentist since I've known him. It is not fair for my DSs to inherit this. Will persevere. Dentist next week.

I did hear that there was some baby toothpaste that was bubble gum flavoured, I think I will track it down and give it a whirl. Anything is worth a shot!

My son was a nightmare for tooth brushing and I wrote a similar thread to yours a year ago. He would clamp shut. I carried on trying, coating his teeth in paste if he went full on tantrum just so it was on them as advised by HV. The turning point was a sink full of bubbly water with bath toys, few cups for pouring, etc and he just let me fully brush his teeth and I was gobsmacked. Worth a try for you. Everyone said it would improve and at the time it didn't seem possible but the mumsnetters were right and I'm now the other side of it. Oh yes, and a light up toothbrush and non minty toothpaste! Good luck

We've also just come out this phase. I never pinned him down, but we used a lot of bribery (no story if no teeth), playing one off against the other (mummy or daddy do it?), you start, mummy finish etc etc. it got pretty wearing, but I think if you stop insisting they think its ok not to. I never pinned him down cos after I did it the first time & he bit his lip or something I couldn't do it again.

Ds is now 26 months & he's been much much better for about 8 weeks. He's actually pretty good at doing it himself & I finish off. Although tonight he had to brush all his soft toys teeth, all 8 of them, twice before he'd let me do his!

non-negotiable here (though DD has two dentists for GPs, so the pressure's on!). Just used the right toothpaste and brush for their age and got on with it. She's generally fine with it but for the past year, since she was clear, I have been telling her if she doesn't brush her teeth that her teeth will go horrible and black and smell and fall out and cause her endless agony (I may be exaggerating), which she does seem to hear!

clear? Three!

Blackandwhite where do you get your toothpaste from now? Damn those Sainsbo's people discontinuing the cheap version!!