Toothbrushing trauma - keep going or give up??

[Playitagainsam]

My dd is 20 mo, and is generally quite a chilled out little girl, in as far as a toddler can be anyway. But for some reason she just has a major issue with toothbrushing. She's never liked it but will go through phases of being a bit more accepting of it. Right now we're in the clamping mouth shut, going bright red and getting really upset phase - the only time I can get the brush in her mouth is when she's screaming and crying her eyes out. I feel like an awful mum but I just don't know what's worse - getting her in that state every day or not brushing her teeth! In reality, even when we get to that point, it's not a great brushing effort as she's thrashing her head around!!
I think we're all a bit traumatised by it. I've read one opinion that says don't turn it into a battle, but what's the alternative? Rotten teeth?!
We've tried lots of different things, brushing them in the bath, on our laps, giving her a second brush to play with, distracting her...all ends the same way. I'd just love to know your opinions on what to do. Thanks!

We also had similar phases mostly between 1 and 2.5. It would go and come with dd. I went down the route of non negotiable and forced it a bit, explaining it would be nicer and easier if she helped. Dd always gets her turn after I have done her teeth too. Dd is 3 next month and tells me in the mornings 'we need to do our teeth now mummy.'

Have you seen the Aquafresh app?, it encourages 2 mins brushing time to a little cartoon doing a song and dance. 20 months might be a bit young for it, but its free to download so maybe worth a look?

We did toothbrush song with ds. Can only be sung while teeth are being brushed, nice and loudly. It goes ah ah ah ah aaaaaaah ahhhhhhh ah ah................. I sung it too when I was brushing my teeth, but he couldn't join in unless he was brushing his too.

We use www.amazon.co.uk/Oral-B-Winnie-Berry-Bubble-Toothpaste/dp/B003NVMGHI and a non-minty toothpaste did make a difference. Just make sure it has the right amount of fluoride.

Letting DD watch/play with my iPad while I brushed her teeth helped too.

2yo DS brushes with us, some days. Other times I just chase him round the house and get the brush in when I can! Eatching Peppa Pig (or some such shite) brushing teeth on youtube helps some dc.

I'm in Spain and the pediatricians told us not to use toothpaste until they're old enough to spit (including pink dinosaur-themed tasty kiddy toothpaste).

I also have a toothpaste eater toothbrush refuser. I tried everything mentioned up thread. I was finding it stressful and Dd 2.4 was too. Recently we seemed to have turned a corner with it. We went shopping and bought each of her favourite toys a toothbrush, she got to choose the colours. So before bed, in the morning we play a little game where all the Bunnies, Teddy and Mr Frog get to do their teeth. By the time we get round to Dd she doesn't seem to get too upset about it. We occasionally have to use tickles to get her to keep her mouth open but def. no tears now.

Sorry, I'm going to be harsh. Toothbrushing twice a day is non-negotiable.

You are the parent. You know the consequences of not brushing. Rotten teeth, smelly breath (bear in mind this leafs to teasing at school), extractions, terrible pain, a potential lifetime fear of dentists.

This is one of those parenting situations where you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it. To do otherwise is doing a terrible diservice to your child.

They get used to it eventually once they realise it has to be done.

I have twins. I used to have to pin each one down in succession while the other twin also screamed in sympathy. It was awful.

They got over it. I got through it.

They're 6 yo now and happily chat while I brush. They have no memory of the screaming and pinning.

They have perfect, shiney, little teeth and happily trip off to the dentist for stickers twice a year.

For a while we didn't bother with spitting, just brushed his teeth while sitting on my lap watching a DVD - Peppa or Bob the Builder or whatever was his current favourite. We don't have a TV, so DVDs at toothbrushing time had extra novelty value!

I am under the impression that spitting doesn't matter much with little children using the toothpaste designed for them, but once you move on to the next stage toothpaste it matters. I think it is to do with the fluoride concentration.

Hexbugs, I appreciate the virtual slap round the chops. You are of course right.

It really helps to know that others have persevered through the tears but haven't created a tooth brushing aversion for life.

I will toughen up and try every tip on the list, something must work eventually!

I tried everything, including different toothpaste, fancy toothbrushes, electric toothbrushes, bribery, rewards, scare stories about rotten teeth, Internet pictures of children with rotten teeth, nana brushing his teeth and giving him loads of praise. .. I still ended up having to sit on him and hold him down until he he was 4 years old. Poor ds always cried, and I felt like the worst mother ever.

Now he is 5 and brushes his teeth no problem. Eventually, he just kind of realised that it was non-negotiable. Hang in there. ...

Non negotiable in this house too.

DS1 was very willing to have his done from the start, so it was a bit of a shock when ds2 started refusing and screaming the place down.

He will be 4yo in a few weeks and some nights he is fine, but others he really fights it. He has a couple of teeth which are demineralised and quite gnarled looking, so it's very important that they are brushed well. (I think the teeth were probably developing when I was trying to heal a badly fractured ankle when I was pg with him)

He also has a lip tie which comes down between his front teeth. It is very common for kids with ties to absolutely hate brushing teeth because of the brush catching on the tie.

At this age my daughter would let you do if if you role-played that a soft toy wanted to brush her teeth and would 'hold' the toothbrush and brush them..different toy every night..might work?

Non-negotiable here - DH is a dentist. We sees it the same way as if DS had to take medicine. It's up to us to administer it as ultimately it's for his own good

We've been lucky that DS (13 months) has only just got some teeth but he's been using the chewable toothbrushes since about 7 months and let's us clean his teeth with no bother.

Sympathies though - I understand it can't be very nice to have battles like this.

Brushing teeth and strapping into car seat are non-negotiable in the Cinnamon household.

Child1 had no intention of letting her teeth be brushed, dh and me were needed every time (one to hold, one to brush) until she was about 3. No toy, distraction, bribery ever worked. It was awful, tbh.

Child 2 had only a phase of this, maybe 3 months, until Child 1 was about 3 and stopped the fuss.

Child 3 has never kicked up a fuss, she's seen her older siblings brush teeth and she always wants to do what they do.
When she tried to start a tantrum we told her there would be no more sweets and chocolate that week (as they make unbrushed teeth rot). Always worked

We would have pinned down and sat on every child twice a day if necessary. I know plenty of examples of children with bad teeth and GA to treat them. That's one completely avoidable worry.

I think the children realise if you really mean it. Even then there are some (child 1) who will put up a fight anyway.

I know it goes against the grain to physically hold a child which wants to escape. But there is no alternative.

Good on you Playit, keep at it!!

I've told my two what I used to have to do and they think it's funny! Honestly most kids go through a phase like this during their toddler years. As with everything else you just have to remember through gritted teeth, blood sweat and tears that they'll thank you for it later.

I do know one or two people whose children have had baby teeth extracted. Trust me, you don't want to go their.

It's character building.

^ there even oh the shame

The only at my toddler will let me brush her teeth is if she's allowed to brush mine simultaneously. I give her the toothbrush and kneel down on the floor and open wide for her. Whilst she is doing mine I can then whizz her toothbrush round her mouth. It's turned into a fun game rather than a battle.

Maybe try to let her brush your teeth for you a few times, then when she's seeing the fun in it (apparently nothing is funnier than accidentally brushing my nose as well) say okay, time for me to do yours now.

We also have 2 toothbrushes for her (one electric, one not) which she can choose to use.

Good luck!

I had a similar situation a while ago and somebody posted that it is much worse trying to hold them down for dental treatment than it is to forcibly bush their teeth. That made me think! I think you have to persevere. Just a thought - is she more resistant when teething? It could be that it really hurts her if so, so if you can see where the new teeth are cutting you could avoid that area for a little while.

I found that allowing them to choose a new toothbrush every few months helped to increase the novelty factor, especially if you can find ones with their favourite character on. Also try to find a toothpaste they don't mind. Mine like Aquafresh but hate Colgate, so we stick with Aquafresh.

We've always struggled with teeth brushing as well. DD is 20m & has always hated it. It's improved a bit recently, we found the Brush Baby applemint favoured toothpaste, which is very mild & not too chemical in taste. Also, discovered she will (just) tolerate it if we let her watch a particular program on TV - Melody is the current favourite. This is despite the fact that she has molars that have just come through & has had bleeding gums for the past month. (Thank goodness they are nearly through!)

Sit down and stand kid with back in front of you.. pin body in between knees. One hand toothbrush and other holding chin to make a goldfish. Head held against chest and brush.

It's In on those things they have to learn is going to happen whether they like it or not. They all realise in the end and get used.. I've never known trauma resulting from it.

*one of

My dd (7) had to have 5 teeth extracted last year ( a combination of overcrowding and delay) her teeth were partly bad as a result of reflux caused by awheat allergy, and partly through bad brushing.

We were rigorous about brushing up until the agge of 4/5, when we let them do it themselves more. Dd2 has perfect teeth and brushes really well. Dd1 brushed them really badly, and we hadn't noticed just how badly until it was too late.

Now I check her teeth every night, we use disclosing tablets once a week, to remind them of how well and for how long they need to brush, and she has sealant painted on her adult teeth as they come through.

Honestly having the teeth out was a nightmare - just keep on brushing!

decay not delay - sorry!