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Original poster

praise

7 replies

squeakies · 24/07/2006 21:33

Can you over praise your child?
I have always praised my 21 month old daughter. Now I find at meal times when she refuses to eat any praise I give her has little or no effect.

OP posts:
kittywits · 24/07/2006 22:19

Hi, I think with everything in life there should be moderation. If you praise all the time then what do you do when your DD does something really good?!!!! How will she know the difference? Encouraging and premptive praising in order to get them to do something has its place at times, but they should also know that you as an adult expect them to do certain things. The mealtime thing is tricky. Don't make an issue of food. She will soon get to know that it makes you anxious and will use it as a way of getting attention from you. Even young children can be very cunning. If she won't eat, don't force her. Trust that she will eat when she is hungry and don't be tempted to bribe her with treats. If you stop reacting things will settle down, then you can keep yor praises for the times when you feel she actually deserves it. I also wouldn't make anything of the times when she DOES eat. Eating shouldn't something that is praised,that's making an issue of it. I'm sure she does lots of other things that deserve genuine praise from you and she will learn to appreciate that much more! Good luck

bouncyball · 24/07/2006 22:21

Not sure the answer is yes but praise does need to be meaningful. For me its what ever we are focusing on and not everything every day. At the moment its using a quiet voice appropriately and not constantly interupting. that what I praise unconditionally other stuff is more ad hoc.

try just choosing a few things to praise and see if it makes a difference. maybe dont do meals for a week then introduce it but drop other things and see if it works.

CarolinaMoose · 24/07/2006 22:31

maybe she's not hungry?

sparklemagic · 24/07/2006 22:37

As long as you are sincere, and the child can understand what they are being praised for then I don't think you can over-praise...

but tbh I don't think I praise my DS for mealtimes, or for eating; he eats what he wants and that's it, nothing for me to praise or not to praise; if he tries new foods I actually try to make nothing of it so that he doesn't feel it's an issue at all.

At 21 months she is simply eating when hungry, so it is logical that praise from you doesn't have an effect; I would totally relax about it and just let her have what she wants or doesn't want.

sparklemagic · 24/07/2006 22:39

having said that, I did praise my DS for using his knife and fork today, but only because this was a step-change in his development, he's a little savage who would rather eat with his hands, so when he used his knife and fork in a very adult way, I praised him for that!

Original poster
squeakies · 26/07/2006 19:56

Thanks for your comments. Will definately try and chill more at meal times. Have a 5 month old aswell so things get a bit frantic from time to time!

OP posts:
glassofwine · 26/07/2006 20:20

Remember to praise for just being her sometimes rather then always for doing something.

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