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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 year old has stopped settling at night....any ideas?

8 replies

janie2 · 28/12/2013 21:23

Hi All, I'm not a regular on here but often pop in to get some advice from threads but am struggling with DS just now!
My 3yr 7mth old has stopped settling at bedtime. He has been historically a poor settler and light sleeper but we had got into a good routine and he was going to sleep and sleeping through, with the odd 5am but that is ok!
Anyway, a few weeks ago DD was sick in the night, DH was away so they were both up and DS wouldn't go back to bed and since then he won't settle at night and is up through the night. He has since had the cold and of course xmas but he just won't go to sleep at bedtime without one of us in beside him. In the middle of the night I have no issue with cuddling to sleep in his bed but he is so tired when he is not settling until 11pm as are we!
Trying hard not to let him sleep in the day but not always possible due to car journeys etc but I don't think it's due to having too much sleep.
Any ideas? Giving him calpol just incase there is any sore head/ear or anything but it doesn't seem to be the cold that is the problem. He can't seem to say what it is other than wanting us beside him.

Thank you everyone!

OP posts:

Thiscoukdbeme · 28/12/2013 21:26

No answers I'm afraid but I'm going through the same with my 2.5 year old. Looking for answers myself!!

Original poster

janie2 · 28/12/2013 21:30

thanks This! At least we are not alone Good Luck!

OP posts:

sittingbythefairylights · 28/12/2013 22:58

I found that my eldest was very unsettled at night at that age. I think he was becoming more aware about things, and was also having vivid dreams etc.

It took a while to settle, and a combination of cuddles, new bed linen, posters, dream catchers etc.

Sorry, no easy fix, but I think it is a development phase to some extent.

inadreamworld · 29/12/2013 00:28

My 2.8 year old used to be a wonderful sleeper and slept through from 2 months. Now she refuses to go to bed and will only fall asleep if I am there with her. This has been going on for about 6 months. No advice but wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am hoping it is a phase and will pass. Once she is asleep she generally sleeps through till 7 or 8 am but doesn't go to sleep now until 10pm or later.

confusedofengland · 29/12/2013 10:36

We have just come out the other side of this with ds2, 2.8. He would only take about 15 mins to settle but had to have one of us standing outside his room, where he could see us.

We tried various solutions, from rapid return to gradual withdrawal, but what seems to have sorted it was illness He had a dreadful cough for about 2 Weeks & it left him drained, so that when we put him to bed he slept instantly. Now he is better from the cough & seems to have forgotten needing us there! We are also at ils for a few days & he is sharing a double bed with his brother, which seems to reassure him.

So sorry no advice but I feel your pain & wanted to say it really does pass

Original poster

janie2 · 04/01/2014 19:48

Thank you good people! Hoping its a phase (another one)! DH has had a better result last couple of nights so lots of positive praise before its my turn again.
Good luck to all of you. Xx

OP posts:

ToughTimes · 04/01/2014 20:06

I was going to post on this very subject, but got beaten to it. Currently going through a very rough time with DS1 (2.10). We used to pop him into bed and he used to sleep by himself. What started the problems was an ear infection a month or so ago, and he hasn't been the same since. In fact, I actually dread bedtimes now..

Due to having a baby, I was forced to leave him crying for a few nights whilst I tended to ds2, and he is petrified of being by himself now. Dh had to sit with him for over an hour tonight till he fell asleep..

So no advice, but all the sympathy in the world!!

ScampiFriesRuleOK · 05/01/2014 09:05

We're going through this exact same issue with our DS (2.8yrs). A formerly wonderful sleeper, he now takes upto 3 hours of howling & shouting us back up to go to sleep. Then he wakes us every 2hrs throughout the night for spurious 'reasons' (pretending to have dropped a teddy, needing another sip of water etc etc).

We're utterly exhausted. Im newly-pregnant too so Im doubly shattered. No idea how we'll both return to work tomorrow as we're so boggled.

To those in similar situations- have you tried using a reward chart/bribery? We had success with that for one merciful night. Could be you have more luck with it? We're going to try a combo of reward chart & cold turkey tonight. Sooner or later he'll learn that it's not in his interests to carry on with this malarkey.

Good luck to all.

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