15 month old overtired & tantrums

[mumaa]

Hi there,

I wonder if anyone can help, I have never been convinced my DD has been getting enough sleep, as a baby she would not sleep for more than 30 mins during the day, tried everything, taking her our in the car, pram, etc. nothing worked. I hoped it would get better with time, which it has but I'm still convinced she is OT and not sure how to remedy this.

Typical day goes like this:
5am DD will wake, i leave her in her cot until 6.30am - she shouts, cries, goes quiet for a bit, basically, leaving her in her cot does not seem to be telling her it isn't time to get up.
9am DD will nap for around an hour - this can be anything from 40mins to an hour taking the average.
1pm DD will again nap for around an hour - again, this can be 40mins to an hour.
6.30pm start bedtime routine but 7pm she is left in her cot to go to sleep herself

I have tried to keep her up later as some family have suggested but she still wakes at the same time and if i keep her up too late she gets overtired and is difficult to settle... have tried pushing bedtime back gradually. As background she now goes to bed at 7pm as opposedto 6.30pm after gradual 10min push backs but this has made no difference to the time she wakes. I have also tried making her afternoon nap later, i.e. 2pm - 3pm but doesn't seem to change anything.

She is having epic tantrums, i would expect tantrums would start a bit around now but its clear she is sooooo tired, if she cant get something she wants she goes crazy, throws herself around. By comparison, for the first hour after she wakes from each of her naps she is generally quite well behaved and easily pleased. Its so frustrating, i feel like i know what she needs but i cant seem to get it to happen.

any thoughts/advice appreciated

Sorry no real advice but am going thru the same ATM. Just a thought tho, is she happy in her cot when u leave her for an hour and a half? My DD is 13 months old and starts the day at 5 and I get her out when she wakes. Could it be stressful for her? And maybe she has negative connotations towards her cot?
Hope you're ok. It's so hard, I keep telling myself it'll get better and that she will start sleeping later when she's ready

Thanks elvis, sorry to hear you are going through same... perhaps it is just a matter of time. I think its probably just because she's never been a brilliant sleeper, i had hoped it would be better by now - though, she is also not the worst sleeper i appreciate, have heard some tales!

When i say i leave her in her cot, i do still go through and "shhh" or say "its bedtime", i just dont remove her from cot, sometimes she will lie there and 'chat' other times she will shout and scream, it varies, but its clear she's ready to start her day.

I'm not sure... when she goes down for naps/goes to bed, she is put in her cot awake and she doesn't resist that, so at least that is a plus! iI say its nap/bed time and she seems to understand. Maybe she is just an early riser but she has visible bags under her eyes and is clearly tired throughout the day - yawning, rubbing eyes/nose.

Sorry to possibly sound unhelpful, but get her up at 5am. She's a toddler and that's when their day starts - nearly all toddlers are awake between 5 and 5.30. Leaving her in bed will not get her to go to sleep, and putting her to bed later won't change her wakeup time either. She's getting enough sleep during the day - two naps of an hour each is fine - but I would put her to bed at 6.30 as you used to - that way she'll get enough sleep overnight. If you've got a lark, you've got a lark. I should know, I have three! I just go to bed at 9 each night otherwise I'd be knackered.

Thanks zuleika, wow, 3 larks!! May just have to do that, if she didn't seem so knackered i would accept that she is probably getting all the sleep she needs. If this is going to be the way of it i think, as you say, 6.30 bedtime will need re-introduced. And people wonder why im not that keen to take up kind offers of babysitting for a night out, 9pm to be it will be!!

Oops, 9pm to bed it will be!

ye another here who agrees 5-5.30 am is prob when alot of toddlers get up. hard as it is just get her up and start the day!
i always think my dd seems tired but actually i think they prob do get enough sleep over all but have so much developmental stuff going on they are gonna be tired regardless

feekerry that is a good point about development, didn't think of it this way.

miaow cant say im a great sight in the morning myself, def sympathise with wanting to stay in bed til noon, shame i didn't pass that trait on! Ha

thanks for all responses. I am constantly told to put her to bed later and that she should be sleeping longer in the day (although the people who tell me this about naps say she should have 1 x 2 hour nap so surely 2 x 1 hour naps work the same?)

Yes, 2 x 1hr is effectively the same, and she's not having to go so long between sleeps (so you get better behaviour...). 15 months is the average for going down to one nap, but it takes a while to drop the morning one (some days they'll have it, some days not) and some toddlers have it until they're much older - DD had a morning nap until she was nearly 2.

I have two dc who have always been early risers - one is now 10 years old and one is 18 months. Both of themhave always woken at 5/5.30, even now my ten year old wakes at 6 every single day at the latest.

What I'm going to say may be soul destroying but.....

I genuinely believe some dc are just early risers. I have had ten years worth of trying to change it and I just giveup :) ... with ds I have just gone with it and embraced the fact he sleeps well at night and resigned myself to getting up at 5ish everyday. Cbeebies is a godsend first thing in the morning.

Neither of mine have ever had much sleep during the day, just two short ish naps like your dd. Ds now still has one nap am and one nap pm. He won't sleep in a buggy or car seat. Never has done. He once stayed awake 12 hours straight at 4 months because we went out for the day! He will only sleep in his cot inthe dark.

However, the one thing I do is put him to bed earlier than youre doing. .. he goes to bed 5.30/6 as this is when he is tiredest. I wonder if trying to fight your dd onstaying awake is making it worse? What happens if you just go with her? Get up when she wants to get up and put her to bed early and enjoy the evening and get to bed early yourself?

Going with it has kept me sane.

Thanks ladies, it is very helpful to know others have similar situations and this is "normal", my nephew is an AMAZING championship sleeper, and of course that is what we are used to dealing with in the baby department as he is 18 months older than DD so there are always comparison, which makes me think this or that must be wrong. Hence I keep getting told to keep her up.

She had her 2 x 1 hour naps today and I started bedtime routine at 6pm like we used to, into cot for 6.30 and she 'chatted' to herself before dropping off at 6.50pm so will probably do same going forward and go with her rise time.

If I keep her up much later than she's used to she gets overtired and very upset, we are very strict at sticking with her routine and adjusted it by 30 mins about 4 weeks ago as kept getting told to keep her up and it would work, but we've tried it and it doesn't so we are better to give her, and us, that extra 30 mins of evening time.

Wow, fairylea 12 hours straight!! DD did an 8 hour stint around the same age for the same reason but that tops the charts! Thanks Zuleika she has missed a couple of morning naps here and there and it doesn't go down well, yet, but like you say, takes a while. I think as has been said here we just need to let her lead the way. Really appreciate the replies, feel a bit less like we're doing it all wrong now