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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

i dont like my neice

73 replies

TonyJames · 08/07/2006 22:07

she is horrid spoilt child. an only child, and she just drives me mad. its not her fault, her parents pander to her. if she has a tantrum they ignore for a while then give in. she screams if she is left alone with me and my children. she screams if she doesnt get her own way. i dread her coming round to play as she just tantrums the whole time. she is the same age as one of my children, and my child juststands and stares then asks why she has stropped.

does this make me a bad aunt?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

southeastastra · 09/07/2006 00:24

why do you have to get it deleted?

Original poster

TonyJames · 09/07/2006 00:25

bevcause i dont like posting stuff like this in case famly sees it.

OP posts:

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:25

...no i mean just help when your niece is around ur house anyway, present a united front to nieces tantrums...although it is exhausting when ur already dealing with own kids...
...i've just hd a psychic prem who you might b!

Original poster

TonyJames · 09/07/2006 00:26

jingly, as logn as you arent my sister

OP posts:

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:28

let them c! it's not like you've put a photo of them in the national press, nobody who doesn't know about the situation will be able to find out from this and therefore all u r doing is venting your frustration and if they c this they should not anger but really feel guilty that you are feeling like this and they have not been aware/listening to your feelings before it came to this...so there!

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:29

i have no sisters darling i would like one! ..although only if they were nice!

Original poster

TonyJames · 09/07/2006 00:30

my other sister is fab!

OP posts:

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:31

my gosh u have 2, and i have none, how greedy!

Original poster

TonyJames · 09/07/2006 00:31

i know, awful isnt it?

my brother is nice too.

OP posts:

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:33

surely your nieces tantrums must exhaust your sister, she can't be happy with it! I have a 2year old and theres no other kids in the family, i go to the other extreme of not visiting too often as he can be so hyper/destructive!

wabbitt · 09/07/2006 00:35

It's so difficult isn't it when there are people you love involved - I've 'suggested' to my sister and her partner that they assist their nearly 3yo to have an afternoon sleep.

He gets horrid and attention seeking and cussed and turns into a real little 'sh*t' if he's not had a sleep but his parents just tell me he's impossible to get to take an afternoon snooze.

Who are the parents here? If he's ruling their behaviour with his reactive responses (weeing on things banging his head smacking his own head stuttering (when his speach was previously 'normal') Surely THEY need to change their reactions to the things he's doing to improve his behaviour.

Honestly - I love children - but when he's about my fingernails are itching in frustration... I just want to lash out! but of course I don't - I'm normally so calm - I hate being cornered into feeling this way

So - I guess NO TJ you're far from being a bad auntie... just honest in venting your frustration!

I'd love to say more to my sister about DN but he suffers from a congenital disorder that means his body doesn't go into shock - my sister, who's utterly lovely, has already lost one child to cancer so I understand WHY she overindulges her boy = but still his behaviour's madly frustrating to cope with.

Let's just hope in years to come we can forget the bizzare behaviour of our siblings children and just enjoy the young people they become

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:35

so...you don't get on so well with this sister?

wabbitt · 09/07/2006 00:37

So sorry that's such a massive post - you touched a nerve there TJ!!

NappiesGalore · 09/07/2006 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:40

thats a good mantra from wabbitt 'all things shall pass' thats what i have to think of some of my ds's stages, although i'm not an aunt yet so i can only imagine but i suppose its a bit harder to b tolerate when the child isn't your own and when u already have your own to deal with and could do without the extra bad behaviour that is not even being addressed. although if i am ever to become an aunt i will consider it a real blessing, although i may have to pretend i'm out for a few years if my brother breeds a nightmare child! and wait until it matures alittle!

jinglybits · 09/07/2006 00:41

night night from me, and best of luck with getting a good response with your nieces parents

wabbitt · 09/07/2006 00:44

Yeeeees Jinglybits!!! Just say 'sorry I'm abroad for that 6 years'

NappiesGalore · 09/07/2006 00:44

sorry - my post took forever to write. seems a bit out of sorts now.

you have my sympathy, support and understanding anyway. not that that helps at all!!

wabbitt · 09/07/2006 00:51

You're right though NappiesGalore - age does bring with it a certain maturity that can lure you into believing that their responses are calculated - but my 14yo is capable of responding wholly emotionally and for that matter so am i

I guess I'm kind of reiterating what expat's already said... we're the adults and HAVE to put the whole scenario into perspective (doesn't stop you having the urge to take immediate acion though!)

NappiesGalore · 09/07/2006 00:57

oh i agree.i really do. he is a child and has a RIGHT to a childhood complete with understanding and caring and support and stuff. knowing all that is actually what makes it so hard.

its not being able to change the way he is parented, and therby change the way he behaves that is soooooooooo upsetting. i love him, and TJ loves her neice im sure. which is why wanting to wring their little necks makes us feel so guilty.

ah, kids eh?

wabbitt · 09/07/2006 01:14

lol at 'wanting to wring their little necks'

Sooooo true

but yes - it's the parenting that pee's us off - I think we all agree on that

Original poster

TonyJames · 09/07/2006 08:42

of course i love her, she can be a real sweetheart. but lately (last 6months or so) she has gotton so much worse and it just grates. when i get a call asking if they can come over, i get a horrible sinking feeling in my stomache and want to say no no no. but my middle child does like to play with her, and i feel maybe my kids behaviour will rub off on her. but when she has a tantrum because my baby gave her a hug, i just want to sling her out of my home.

so she may grow out of it? shall i move away for 10years or so, and not tell thm where i am?

OP posts:

NappiesGalore · 09/07/2006 20:44

lol TJ - yeah, if we just moved away and 'forgot' to tell the respective parents where we are... that would be nice. (sorry, flippant because tired and close to end of tether) that option not open to me coz his dad is my partner so theres no easy escape for me. oh god, how id love to just run away right now!

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